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Date: 11/21/2020 10:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...well, he may not be the turkey but for all of our sakes, I hope he'll be dressing.  |
Date: 11/21/2020 11:14:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hmmmm, so if I were to understand this.....you prefer stuffing and you are a gobbler? In a cannibal sort of way?  |
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Date: 11/21/2020 6:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...no, I'm a vegetarian. That's a very ancient word meaning "bad hunter". |
Date: 11/21/2020 6:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  A friend showed up on my doorstep with a sack containing twenty eight baggies of turkey innards. Each baggie contained one gizzard, one heart and one liver. (The friend is a butcher and it seems that people, these days, are too refined to eat internal organs.) I am not prejudiced, that way, and was more than happy to take the lot off his hands for thirteen cents per baggie. I was already visualizing the fine turkey organ gumbo that I was going to make, when, out of nowhere, "the taking dog" bowled me over, snatched the sack of turkey parts, squeezed himself under one of the out buildings and began devouring the load. I begged and pleaded, but he just laughed and the smell of violated turkey liver permeated my backyard. I fished out the AK-47 and loaded a thirty round magazine, but the wife whacked me on the back of the head, with a four and a half foot, cold forged crowbar. When I came to, the wife was distraught and in tears. My head hurt something awful, but I forgave her immediately. (love is strange, ain't it?) So, I tell her, "Baby, it's alright. I know you didn't mean it. Please don't cry." Well, I move in to give her "a sugar" and she whacks me in the left knee with the same crowbar.... Seems, the talking dog had eaten everything in the sack (including the sack) and got himself stuck underneath the shed and, of course, it was all my fault. Ugh!....Hospital food ain't that bad. Happy Holidays.........  |
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Date: 11/21/2020 7:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...just wait a day or so and you can get it all back. |
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Date: 11/22/2020 12:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Kronk, there’s a moral to that story., but like many movies being made today with the bonus extras on the dvd, there are usually more than one alternate ending. The first one that comes to mind was on a plaque ( of the novelty souvenir kind ) that stated “Behind Every Successful Man Is A Woman That’s There To Remind Him Of What He’s Doing Wrong.” Hence the reason I’m single as I know what I’m doing wrong and I don’t need reminding. Ever thought of getting “the talking dog” a significant other? All the best, hope your turkey is COVID free...... |
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Date: 11/23/2020 12:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Shades of "Up in Smoke!" The talking dog is extremely shy. I've been his keeper for four and a half years and to this day, I have no idea where he goes. (literally) |
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Date: 11/23/2020 12:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I want the message on that plaque engraved on my slab. She's not really a bad girl, just a little high strung.....This year, we got a twelve pound bird, for thirty nine cents per pound. It's defrosting on the bar, as I write this. We're figuring four meals: Legs, wings, and then I'll debone the rest, and make two roasts. The talking dog gets the backbone......"What! Why you ungrateful cur! Not good enough! There are dogs getting eaten, in other parts of the world. Sheesh.." GRRRRR.... |
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Date: 11/24/2020 3:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Thumbs up! Save the tail gunner part of the turkey for me will ya? |
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Date: 11/24/2020 4:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry I'm assuming that you mean the two "oysters" on the lower end of the backbone? Tasty stuff, indeed.....What's that you say? Ack Ack Gun? What in the world is an ack ack gun? We're talking about food here. Well, I'm not so sure about that, anyway. Alright, I'll ask him......My "talking dog" wants to know what exactly a "tail gunner part of the turkey" is. |
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Date: 11/24/2020 5:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Perhaps he might recognize the other term “ Pope’s Nose?” |
Date: 11/24/2020 6:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"Brethren"... |
Date: 11/28/2020 3:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 4231
LoL A nice tame Little Johnny Joke.. who knew they existed lol Happy Thanksgiving!  |
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Date: 11/28/2020 7:39:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well Josh, Hekler has a book full of them but they're not G-Rated. |
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