Lover's Remorse

Morning comes and sadness looms
I stare into the abysmal darkness that is you
You’ve brought joy and pain and everything in the middle
Yet I have done nothing, nothing, nothing but bark my spittle

I’ve lied, cheated, and treated you like dirt
I’ve never truly been there to support you when you’ve hurt
You’ve stuck by my side through the good and the bad
Yet today I might lose you and all that we’ve had

We were once 18 and love came so effortlessly
Meeting under the snow, our first embrace, and our first kiss
I can still remember the butterflies and that endless feeling of bliss
However, I ruined it all when communication failed and I wandered

You deserved none of it, and you’ve truly did nothing wrong
Yet I sought validation in others and broke our vows we’ve held all along
Fought so much and gained so little
Our hopes were shattered, and our dreams belittled

Afternoon strikes and desolation’s here
We’ve fought the demons with words spurious and fierce
The pain caused is never-ending and marriage is fragile
Cycle’s repeating pattern infinite is the battle

Yet I fight on for what I believe, because I feel your worth
The disconnect is there, but hope time will fade
I must rebuild our love like a forge does a broken blade
I’ll prove to you straying is over henceforth
To regain those feelings in the wintery beginning
To return to the strength; love no longer fading
I must change myself and become truly selfless
As you’re my eternity and you deserve it nonetheless

A renewal of vows, a remake of faith once lost
A chance to reciprocate, to communicate truth
Remove the belittling, spiteful words so uncouth
Rediscovering the purity of friendship at all costs

The evening’s here and happiness is all but granted
I squint into a small flame that’s reignited
The joy you gave, the pain and everything I’ve given was little
For this is my vow to you, to do better, be better, and face my remittal