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Date: 9/13/2020 4:25:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Let the booing and hissing commence, as I dodge the rotten tomatoes that will no doubt be tossed at me! Have a great week...  |
Date: 9/13/2020 7:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  I get it, I think. At one point in my miserable existence, I was in the habit of consuming prodigious amounts of four day old pilot whale blubber. I absolutely loathed the stuff, but a dental expert named Peter Popoff told me that If I drank his patented elixir ($137.50/quart) and consumed as much of the blubber as I could beg, borrow, or steal, by 2046 I would grow at least eighteen layers of 3 inch serrated teeth and be the envy of any seven year old requiem shark. The stuff was thirty seven kinds of nasty tasting and I had to quit due to lack of sufficient funds. Now, I'm eating all the raw cabbage I can find. It's supposed to clear flatulence. Ugh! It's tough getting old. |
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Date: 9/13/2020 7:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...ACK! Please give me your address so I can mail you a peanut butter sammich. And a squirrel wearing tie-dyed overalls wearing a straw hat. By the way, where do you work? I'll send your boss a suggestion suggesting "Bumpkin Day Friday" as a team-building experience.  |
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Date: 9/13/2020 8:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
LOL! Kronk, we must find out what Keith Richard's secret to a long life is. If it doesn't involve sleeping in a coffin by day and drinking blood then I might have a go. |
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Date: 9/13/2020 9:03:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Just send it to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Feel free to send as many squirrel you want. I work at the Clinton Presidential Library, just attach the note to "Head Sanitation Engineer". |
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Date: 9/13/2020 9:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I don't know what brings to mind a more disturbing piece of imagery...you trotting around your workplace in your tie-dye jammies or Kronk diving off the stern of the Pequod and chewing on a whale. |
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Date: 9/13/2020 9:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I'll send it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue but with your postal service going the way it is, do you think it'll get there in time for President Ivanka's innauguration? |
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Date: 9/14/2020 3:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
If you appeal to Agent Orange's vanity (he's a total narcissist) then the postal service would actually make it "Priority Mail". Then he would invite you over for a special White House dinner ala Burger King or KFC to show you he's classy. |
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Date: 9/14/2020 5:28:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
He might even make you a part of his well informed experienced cabinet member. You could sit between Ivanka and Jared and catch all latest gossip from Russia. |
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Date: 9/14/2020 2:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry On Richards: I have it from a "very" reliable source that Keith's had so many transfusions that his blood type has mutated from the normal single, or sometimes, double letter designation, (ex. A+ or AB-) to (A+A-B+B-O+O-AB+AB-and sometimes Y.) I tried to call him and weedle some information out of him. (We were close, at one time. At least, I dreamed we were, about thirty seven years ago.) After seven failed attempts, I finally connected with an English fellow named Pete Townsend. I explained my dilemma and he told me not to bother with Richards 'cause, and I quote; "The fool is only good for background and he's hiding behind an eminence front, to boot." Anyway......Before I could question him any further,the overseas operator came on and told me I owed somebody named G. Soros, thirteen hundred quid for the call, else he'd have my left knee cap surgically removed. Where in the world am I going to get thirteen hundred squid? |
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Date: 9/14/2020 2:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Hey, man. I know it's been a while, but I wonder if you could talk to the captain of that "Pequod" boat and ask if he'd take me out in the ocean, one afternoon? Oh, and ask him he he has a net on board. I need lots of squid, "really" soon. PS...I don't have any hard currency, but I could pay him off in cabbage. |
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Date: 9/14/2020 3:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Kronk! I'd talk to the captain of the Pequod for you but he is no longer with us. It seems that he had a bad Ahabit of chasing great white whales and, as a result, became fish food. |
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Date: 9/14/2020 3:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
Hey Larry...I'd be down with the Burger King meal. It's about three gastronomic levels above what you can get at the competing clown place. As far as eating at the same table as Jarhead and Ivanka, no thank-you. Those two give me the creeps. Horror movies could utilize photos of them on the walls of haunted houses just to add another level of terror. |
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Date: 9/14/2020 5:25:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well Kronk, the blood story you shared doesn't surprise me. But Pete is a tightwad, fickle, and a tad officious if I do say so. It was probably Pete's brother Simon that called as Soros so they could stick you will the bill.... |
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Date: 9/14/2020 5:29:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Well don't say I didn't try get you prepared for Halloween....as you may have noticed...it's right around the corner....(lol) |
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