|
|
|
|
|
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
Date: 9/12/2020 1:05:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
An example when asked where is my casual Friday shirt is would be I used to to ward off Evil during an exorcism and had to appease a demon by allowing it to take possession.....  |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 1:08:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Or, when asked why I am not wearing my casual Friday shirt I could answer that I didn't want to be a walking advertisement for Skittles. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 1:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Ok USM, any suggestions or ideas will be considered. Let's get this albatross off my neck..... |
Date: 9/12/2020 5:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 998
What .. you don't want to let your inner hippie come out and play in the tie-dye shirt ... lol. Would they let you bring your own style and color of tie-dye shirt?  |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 5:53:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Frankly Ginger, I'd rather come in wearing my pajamas and bathrobe....sorta like a poor man's Hugh Hefner. That's my idea of casual. And let's be for real....how many hippies lived in the southern U.S. at that time? |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 12:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OPTION #4 Wear a red Speedo suit with a nice frilly tutu. Pirouette and leap around a lot.  |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 12:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OPTION #3 Annoy the bejeebers out of all your fellow employees and management types by responding to all conversations with "cool man", "far out", "make love, not war" and "flower power. Smoke a lot of weed. Get those eyes glowing. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 12:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OPTION #2 Claim to have a textile dye allergy. Wear a bra under the shirt and loudly complain about the swelling and dermal itchiness. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 12:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...OPTION #1 You could tie-dye a pair of Depends to match the shirt. shave one of your hairy legs (one only) and accessorize of pink sequined high heels which should be available in your size at either Wal-Mart or a Hefty Hannah's outlet store. If you're planning on wearing the heels on one occasion only, you might try Goodwill or Value Village. You could also go for the bikini wax although this would be a personal preference only and not be generally visible unless you offered to show it to people. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 12:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Claim that the shirt is a Democrat conspiracy to make you look like an idiot. Act like an idiot. Follow people and sniff at them. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 1:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...whatever you decide upon, please post pics. Eye bleach. Gets rid of Covid symptoms. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 1:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...get a garden claw and shred the front of the shirt. Tell the boss the colours drove your dog mad and he attacked it. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 1:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...glue green question marks all over the shirt and tell everyone you're The Riddler. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 2:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I knew I could rely on valuable resources such as Consumer Reports and United Laboratories, and it goes without saying my most trusted source, ,Hekler. However doing a version of "Swan Lake ala near nude is out of the question as I gave up drinking years ago. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 2:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Your second piece of advice hits closer to home and appeals to me, hippie or not. Unfortunately, it's not quite legal where I currently live. Then again, at my age what have I got to lose? |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 2:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...you could also say that you were gathering some clothing to send to victims of the California fires and somehow, Probably your wife (ALWAYS blame the wife- she blames everything on you) the shirt got included in the bundle you shipped. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 2:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hmmm, your textile allergy allegory reminds me of a former Olympian that has since went onto different things. I'll pass.... |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 2:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Tie dye and depends, LMAO! Old hippies never die, they just keep following the Grateful Dead as they tour on. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It's not a conspiracy, nor Democrat thing....you wouldn't understand. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Eye bleach, vivid, pictures.. wait a moment. You're one of Trump's illegitimate children aren't you? |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I like your garden claw idea! A new , more modern take on " my dog ate my homework ". |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:16:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Riddle me this! What is most likely to go go postal? The mail-in-election ballot, the letter carrier that requires a seeing eye dog and is allergic to dogs, or Hey Larry on casual Fridays? |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...what about pairing up your shirt with a pair of those yoga pants with "Juicy" on the rear? |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Now I really like the suggestion regardinding victims of California fires. Not only does it solve the shirt dilemma, I could also ship myself and leave circumstantial crime scene evidence to keep the wife busy while she's being investigated by the homicide department. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I don't think I could pull off "Juicy", which is why it might work. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if you really like the "Juicy" one, may I suggest you get them in fuchsia? Go all out! Shine for the troops! |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 3:59:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
If I had hair, I would. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 4:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Can I fuse the fuschia with my tie dye depends? In for a penny, in for a pound. |
|
Date: 9/12/2020 4:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...if you have either nostril or ear hair, you could always do a comb-over. Just something to think about. It might look rather dashing. Go to the disco. Charm the ladies. Tell your wife you're going to the store to get her an early anniversary gift. Get her a new set of tires or some anti-freeze on the way back. You'd be surprised at how many times this has worked for me. |
Date: 9/13/2020 6:44:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  "What a great idea, that casual Friday! I'm all for it, yes sir. Only thing is, back in `67, by sister's best friend's cousin's Irish wolfhound's litter went missing and the only witness to the kidnapping disappeared, too and the only scrap of evidence available was a note printed on a 47 inch piece of 1/2 wide spandex AND the note read: Add a psychedelic twist to your wardrobe with this Lightweight Tie-Dye rainbow Crewneck Tee that is just as comfortable as it is mesmerizing. Far out! So, you see, I've was so traumatized that I break out in hives and exhibit poison sumac symptoms at the mere thought of wearing a tie dye shirt....Oh, your not buying that, eh? Got anything in a pink pastel?"  |
|
Date: 9/13/2020 9:10:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Wow Kronk, you too have lived to tell the tale. I feel your pain. To me, casual fridays are like the ending to that movie Apocalypse Now..... where Col. KURTZ is gasping his last breath...."the horror....the horror". |
|
Date: 9/13/2020 9:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...I think I may be able to help you track down the thieves. I was at Wal-Mart recently and a woman wearing Spandex matching your description was just leaving the store. She got into an old Austin Mini. |
|
Date: 9/14/2020 2:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry That movie had me jumping into rancid marsh potholes, holding a cane knife in my mouth. I lost my top plate and dug three leaches out of my nose. On top of that, the blasted marsh hen that I was going to decapitate, ducked at the last instant and I slashed myself on the collar bone..... "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. The smell, you know that gasoline smell. Smells like victory." |
Date: 9/14/2020 2:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Good work. If you can forward the license plate number to me, I'll have "my people" down there in three days. (They'd be there sooner, but they are delivering sixteen pallets of bricks to an address in Chicago.) To the CIA: "That's right! It's me! I'm the one! Investigate Me! I dare you!"....Oh, sorry, man. Where were we? Oh, yeah, the dog napper. Spandex, eh?  |
|
Date: 9/14/2020 3:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...maybe I should have elaborated about the Spandex lady a bit more. What began as Spandex became SuperXSpandex on the person in question. I had to quickly look away as the moon was shining through. You should have seen the sparks coming off the chassis of the Mini as she drove away. |
|
Date: 9/17/2020 1:33:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
UPDATE: Apparently my years of good, clean living have paid off because I have the next two Fridays off! Maybe they'll forget this Borg assimilation scheme by then, otherwise I'll have to get some voodoo dolls and..... |
|
Date: 9/18/2020 4:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry The next two Fridays, eh? My astral connection volunteered that having two Fridays off in a row could be cause for concern. If the superintendent offers you Châteaubriand and "Saxum Broken Stones 2014" for lunch on the following Friday, I'd just call in sick. |
|
Date: 9/18/2020 4:39:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
You've never steered me wrong Kronk. I'll be sure to heed the warning. In the meantime the tie die shirt has turned up missing, I imagine like Jimmy Hoffa they'll never find it. |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
