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Date: 8/16/2020 11:21:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
In the words of Hekler and his campaign slogan, "I will put loon in every pot, and dissolve the U.S. Mint from producing pennies. In addition, my administration will assure the Res Green show to be televised 24 hours a day!"  |
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Date: 8/16/2020 11:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...I accept your nomination! My first order of business will be to expand those Mexican tunnels that go under Trump's walls so we can all enjoy less expensive tacos. This may anger employees at Taco Bell, Mighty Taco and restaurants of that ilk but America was built on entrepreneurial abilities so quit your whining or move to Botswana. Things can not go wrong as I will be presenting a bill to Congress to outlaw the potential of things going wrong. You can order your Red Green souvenirs from my website.  |
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Date: 8/16/2020 1:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That's a great beginning for building a platform. Tell us what you would do about the aliens that are entering illegally....via U F O's that is. Do you think eliminating the postal service could be better suited if U F O's delivered the mail instead? |
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Date: 8/16/2020 3:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
I would also predict that you would be open to more press conferences rather than pandering to fake golf courses and fancy resorts. Weekends are spent working on subsidized trailer parks and pepperoni sticks. |
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Date: 8/16/2020 8:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...thanks Chet. First, let me address the alien/U.F.O. problem. There is no problem. As long as they promise not to destroy humanity, we can all be friends. Secondly, with regard to privatizing the post office; no can do. Asking aliens to deliver the mail would be like expecting your taxi driver to actually know your town without the aid of a GPS system although they may be more adept at finding addresses as they seem to have licked the inherent difficulties of interstellar travel. As to your third snarky comments about fake golf courses and fancy resorts; stay away from open windows and staircases. You never know when an accident can happen. Are we through here??? |
Date: 8/16/2020 11:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
LOL!!!  |
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Date: 8/17/2020 12:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Just another question or two if I may.... Your hair, is it natural the way it sticks out like a frightened alley cat or did you put your tongue in an electrical outlet? What would your administration do about a toilet paper shortage compared to what happened earlier this year? |
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Date: 8/17/2020 8:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry...I told you that this might happen. A real-live lady drops by your place and what does she see? Tighty whities hanging off the lampshade. Socks, fish and what appears to be half of a ham sandwich floating in your aquarium and the TV tuned into a "Days of Our Lives" marathon. The mess renders her speechless and all she can manage to squeak out is "LOL" which, I am told, is an Aussie acronym for "Lugging Out Laundry". I sure hope you're impressed with yourself. |
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Date: 8/17/2020 6:01:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Nice try. Don't change the subject...just answer the questions. So, what's your golf score / handicap when to visit Posum Lodge? |
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Date: 8/17/2020 8:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...I don't play golf anymore but when I did, there was this guy named Lee Trevino that was my body double. These days I rely on fancy camera angles and editing. Golf is such a silly sport anyway. Why waste that time walking around outside when I could be sitting in my La-Z-Boy chair with a beer watching NASCAR. |
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Date: 8/18/2020 12:21:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
How Presidential! Instead of draining the swamp you sit on your executive order while swilling cheap beer while watching second cousins once removed driving around in circles. |
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Date: 8/20/2020 7:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...it's not cheap beer. I get it through the Navy department and I'm told that it costs $600 a bottle. Watching NASCAR is sort of a euphemism for the Presidential elections. Going around in circles, one accident after another. |
Date: 8/23/2020 11:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry  I'll get right to the point....Getting a foreigner installed as commander in chief is no small task, BUT, I "can" make it happen. Yes, I am a miracle worker, but I ain't cheap, so, first things first: It is absolutely imperative that you negotiate for a "considerably" higher limit on your credit card.....Call me...Yours, (as long as the checks don't bounce) Miss Cleo  |
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Date: 8/23/2020 1:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...take Kronk's offer! Now that you've started this, I feel a desperate need to turn things around for your people. I will put tigers in the Mexicans' tunnels. I will allow good beer from Canada to enter the U.S. duty free. I have lots of good ideas. |
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Date: 8/23/2020 6:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler YES! I've been staring into a pan of cool, clear, water for the last seventy five minutes and I am definitely "seeing it." Our country is in dire need of another hero. Timothy Leary has been gone since `96, The Hell's Angels ain't what they used to be and O.J. is hiding in plain sight, down in Vegas, and pulling in $400 each, for his autograph. The "beer idea" will appeal to the south and central, and that should just about cinch your nomination. I wouldn't waste tigers on those tunnels. Honey badgers! We need to start breeding honey badgers! ....Always, Miss Cleo. |
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Date: 8/23/2020 9:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 5301
...Kronk...procedural tip: when panning for gold, swirl the pan. I took the liberty of assuming that you wouldn't be looking into a pan of water without possibility of gainful recompense. I've got to hand it to O.J> He's going EVERYWHERE searching for Nicole's killer. I guess Vegas is as good a place as any to look. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 4:23:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Kronk...er should I say Ms. Kleo, how can I resist such a deal? I will also make you Hekler's campaign manager. Contact Ivanka and Jared for any funds needed as my credit is maxed out. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 4:25:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler, you had me at good beer. Kokanee still around? |
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Date: 8/24/2020 6:51:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Kronk! I've never tipped a bottle of Kokanee, originally being a Labatt's Blue drinker and, over the course of time testing the cheaper brews such as Rotwater Ale, Putrid Pilsner and Dragonbreath I.P.A. Labatts still brews Kokanee and if you live in or near Alaska, Colorado, Idaho, Oregon, Montana Wyoming or Washington, you should be able to get your hands on one (or six) although it's probably of a weaker alcoholic volume by content. Drink a dozen instead and then read one of my posts. It helps to put you in my frame of mind. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 6:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...see! I replied to Hey Larry as "Kronk". Must have had one too many Kokanees. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 10:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
That just proves I know a good beer when I drink one. My guess is you are married to a gal that owns a trailer park and made you the park manager / security guard.... |
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Date: 8/24/2020 10:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...nah, no current marriage, no trailer park and no park manager. I do however have a huge pile of bathroom tissue rolls that I dive into in a Scrooge McDuck fashion. Canada...home of trees and TP. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 10:33:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
And most importantly, Loons.... |
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Date: 8/24/2020 10:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...Loons WITH TP! |
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Date: 8/24/2020 10:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
Yes, but no hands to wipe with. |
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Date: 8/24/2020 11:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 5301
...hence the term "waterfoul" |
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Date: 9/19/2020 11:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry / Hekler I was up in Juno, a couple of years ago, and I have to say that the king crab was out of this world. On the other hand, I found the beer to be lacking. (Maybe, I've been drinking "Lone Star" for too long, I dunno?) The stuff that the guy sweeping the floor at the crab house suggested, tasted like it came straight out the moose. |
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Date: 9/22/2020 5:22:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5940
It was probably the Canadian swill that Hecklers so fond of, most Canadian beer is good otherwise. |
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