|
|
|
|
|
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |
| |||||||||||||||
Date: 8/2/2020 11:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear Rev. Heller, I sincerely wish tha I could assist you in your hour of need. I too have been a victim of wrongdoing in a similar form of chicanery. The largest monopolized division of the American phone company had allowed a group of need do wells to phone slam my long distance carrier back in the day when said phone booths existed. I refused to pay as I will not support organized criminal activities of any kind, and have been living in a cardboard box in a not so remote part of the country. Best regards.  |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 11:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
Dear lowlife. We will find you and it won't be pretty. Your phone company.  |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 11:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...HEY! WHO HIJACKED MY ACCOUNT??? |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Dear PHONEY Company, It's been well over a quarter century since your attack on my account, I fart in your general direction. With much ado about nothing, good luck. |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:04:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
Like elephants, WE NEVER FORGET! Sending aliens to probe you. |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:07:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...AND THERE THEY GO AGAIN!!!! |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
I am not concerned with aliens when our psuedo president is supposed to be building a wall to make all the world safe from probes. |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:12:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...his party should build a soundproof wall around HIM. |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Yes. I am hoping in November the voters can tell him..."You're Fired!" |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 12:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...then he can go on tour at the Yuk Yuks clubs. He's a riot! Or, he's going to start one. |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 7:03:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
"O eh, o eh, o eh, oo aah O eh, o eh, o eh, oo aah Yah yeh goh"...... (Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine) The last time I remember seeing "P. Booth," must have been around 1987. I was somewhere in the deeeeeep south. May have been Venice, Louisiana during the rainy season. (which runs from February 27th to January 13th) I had to wade through forty one and three quarter inches of brackish river water to get to "booth," all the while fighting vicious, and highly poisonous Mississippi river eels and the radioactive pelicans that were feeding on them. Every slippery, sloppy, shuffling step of the way was torture. (Had to shuffle step due to the sting ray infestation going down between "Rocko's Pizzaria and the old spanish fort.)...When I finally made it through to "P. Booth," someone, or something had cut off his lips and ears and shot the poor guy full of 3/4 inch holes. "Rocko" took pity on me and offered me his short wave radio to call out a jet boat to make the 93 mile run, north to N'Walins, where I would catch a hot air ballon back to Ohio.....Good to read you, Hekler.  Write on......  |
|
Date: 8/2/2020 7:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Kronk! Thanks for the reply and the awesome news about those poisonous Mississippi river eels. Can you still get your hands on a couple (not physically). I'm thinking that they might be a good addition to the swimming to to keep those pesky neighbourhood kids out when I'm away. Does the USPS even deliver stuff like that? |
|
Date: 8/3/2020 6:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler Yes, it's good to read you, also. Things are really getting weird in the world, these days, and it does my poor, old, heart good to see that even a few of the weird are left.I count myself among those few, along with Hey Larry, yourself and possibly "King Arthur." You probably don't know "King" and that may be for the best. As far as those bloody eels go; I'd leave them strictly alone. I attribute my present condition to having eaten several dozen during my boy scout days. Wilderness camping may have a certain intrinsic value for adolescent youth, but I'm beginning to question that value. I mean, taking off with a wool blanket, a fish hook and a jack knife may indeed build character in some, but I fear that, in my own case, anyway, imminent starvation and the inability of anyone in our patrol group to light a fire, by rubbing two sticks together, thereby forcing us to eat those awful eels raw, could have severely compromised my chances of ever becoming president of these United States......No, leave those eels alone, my friend. The USPS already owes me for two mailboxes and I think some of their quality control may need to be re evaluated. I sent a letter to a town twenty six miles away and it went directly to Atlanta, Georgia, then to somewhere in Utah and sixteen weeks later, when I finally inquired on the status, I was informed that "they" lost track of the letter in a place called "Gun Barrel City, Texas." No, I would not trust those people to deliver a common pygmy rattler, much less a pair of poisonous eels. (I'm looking for a proper box and am seriously considering moving into Larry's neighborhood.) Take care of you and write on........ |
|
Date: 8/3/2020 6:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Kronk, wherever the world is unjust, whenever the weird get weirder, and there's no phone booth to be found....I will be there with lounge chair in tow. For what's what, like Motel 6, I leave the light on for freinds. But Hekler pays extra.... |
|
Date: 8/3/2020 7:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...Hey Larry...that was just plain hurtful. I was going to spring for the beer, pizza and bring my NASCAR videos. Forget it now. I'll just stay at home with my ant farm and sea monkeys. |
|
Date: 8/4/2020 5:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 5940
Hekler, there is nothing that is more boring than watching fools drive around in circles for hours at a time. So I will make you a deal, leave the videos and bring the ant farm and sea monkeys and I'll wave the fees. |
|
Date: 8/4/2020 7:33:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
'''Hey Larry... you really should keep your opinions about NASCAR hushed a bit before you get a bunch of good ol' boys pounding on your door, wanting to lynch you. However, I do like your change of heart regarding letting me drop by for a spell. I'll bring the ant farm, sea monkeys and still stop off to get the beer and pizza. We can feed pizza to the ants and get the sea monkeys drunk. Have you ever seen drunk sea monkeys before? Let me tell you, it's an experience you'll never forget. They smash guitars, trash rooms and vomit EVERYWHERE. And, since you're being friendly again, I'm going to send you a pair of those X-Ray Specs. Get a little more VA-VA-VOOM! and HUBBA-HUBBA in your life! |
|
Date: 8/4/2020 5:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 5940
Even with X-Ray specs on I would never have any trouble watching sea monkeys. Back in the day I was a personal trainer for a famous person that had a sea monkeys farm. I loved training those little rascals, but alas, they left to make more money at the circus... |
Date: 8/4/2020 6:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hey Larry Thanks for the thought, amigo. Such, goes an extremely long way with this old dog. Sniff, sniff...Wow! I knew I was going soft, but it appears that I am now prone to tearing up if someone says, "beg your pardon." Sniff, sniff.....Hey...wait a minute! That tear didn't even taste salty! What? Ugh! Tastes like...like...sea monkey excrement! Oh, Lord! In my present state, I am extremely susceptible to "the power of suggestion.".....At the tender age of thirty nine months, I approached my father's recliner, with an "Archie" comic book opened to the last page (you know, the page with the X-Ray glasses, the exploding cigarettes and yes, "the sea monkeys." and pointing to the monkeys, asked...."Me?" His reply to my plea will haunt me, forever... "No, boy. No monkey for you." Oh, Lord! I'll have to get back to you, bro. It seems that I am a trifle beside myself. (Hekler...You wouldn't happen to have an "Archie" comic in that stash, would you?)...Write on.... |
|
Date: 8/4/2020 8:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 5301
...yeah Kronk, I wanted those sea monkeys too, along with a lot of the other schlock they were selling to naive kids at the time. I was even considering sending in the form so I could deliver that lovely newspaper GRIT. I'm Canadian but as a kid, I didn't know that Ontario had no subscribers. I'll see what I can do about that Archie comic. |
|
Date: 8/5/2020 4:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Hekler I filled out that form and I think the whole fiasco ended up costing the family six dollars. My extremely short newspaper career . |
Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
