Had an awful experience last night..this will probably be long. Sorry.
A little backstory, my mom passed unexpectedly on March 13, 2019. Three months later, June 5, 2019, my dad suffered a major stroke. He fought his hardest to recover but he succumbed to the complications and passed on May 15, 2020.
Needless to say, losing both of my parents within a year has messed me up. I'm not even 30 years old. I'm an only child and not close to very many people, and they were my absolute best friends. I've been feeling so lost and alone without them, and it's been very difficult spending most of my time sorting through their belongings, getting rid of junk, etc.
So a couple nights ago I called out to them. I spoke aloud and begged them to come talk to me in my dreams or communicate with me in some way. But I wanted a dream most because I wanted back-and-forth, legitimate conversation.
Last night I had a random dream that morphed into something else. The second part of this dream had a very clear, real feeling to it. In this part, my parents walked through the front door of the house. I was of course ecstatic to see them, and I immediately became a waterfall of emotional speech. I started telling them how I missed them, how I wish I had at least more time with my dad after my mom's passing to tie up any loose ends, confess any family secrets, just have closure..
I hugged them both, separately, but neither hugged me back. Then I started getting the feeling that their smiles and words were not genuine. Things just seemed off.
They started asking me if I wanted to go back to when my mom was in the hospital, but before she caught pneumonia in ICU and went septic. And if she wouldn't pass, my dad wouldn't have had a stroke. They offered me the chance to save my mom and prevent this course from taking place. I know that's not possible, so I think they were just making up some made up offer I would agree to, then they'd do whatever they were actually planning.
Someone else was in the living room with us. I don't know who they were, they weren't someone I'm familiar with consciously...but they helped me to figure out that these were entities posing as my parents. They did not reveal their true names, they told me they were Pazuzu (which I know is a real demon but I definitely don't think I'm dealing with it lol) and something like Yakuso/Yakuzo.
In my mind, as much as I wanted to...I knew I had to decline. It was too good to be true, I didn't want to change history for fear of the alternative (though these events in this timeline are awful...) and most importantly I thought about my current partner and didn't want to risk losing him.
I experienced dream lucidity for the first time, I told the demons I hated them and hoped they would die (lol dream logic). Then I started yelling at myself to wake up, just screaming at the top of my lungs.
The person in the room seemed to want to warn me of something, and wanted me to stop. They said that I -would- wake up, but something would happen to the house. I ignored the person and kept screaming. They were finally about to say what was going to happen to the house, but I woke up in the middle of their sentence.
Now I'm just feeling uneasy, I've had chills all day. Whatever these beings are, I feel they're weak...but I'm still scared...should I be? As soon as I woke up I told them they were not welcome. But I've had other experiences with accidentally inviting something in, and I don't want to go through that again.
I know it was such a rookie mistake to ask my parents for a visit. I just miss them and I'm hurting so much...I wish there weren't so many malicious spirits who would take my sorrow as an opportunity. I just want to hear their thoughts and reactions to what I have to say to them, and get advice on some other things...I just want their soothing comfort. They've appeared in my dreams before, my mom a few times, and I knew it was them. A few days before my dad passed, I had a dream where I was standing in their room and my mom was outside the window and smiled at me. My dad walked up behind her and placed his arm around her and he smiled at me as well. It was so warm and loving, their auras. Subconsciously I knew he was going to pass.. But anyway,that's how I knew this "visit" was different.
Anyway, thank you to anyone who read this far. I just needed to get this off my chest.
65581 Category:(Dreams) Created:(7/18/2020 11:07:00 PM)