the void

when i was a child, age 5 or 6 i had a reoccurring dream. that could of lasted a few weeks, maybe a bit over a month or so maybe longer. i cannot be sure. the dream would go like this, i would find my self sitting in the fetus position with my arms covering my head and legs, i was scared to open my eyes, because i knew there was nothing but darkness in all directions, i would sit there for a unknown amount of time, a voice would talk to me in a nice way, asking me to look upwards and open my eyes, i would open my eyes, right at the moment of opening my eyes, a force would lift me high up into the darkness, when i reached a certain height, the force would then grab me again, and this time, pegged me straight forward, at a unimaginable speed, further into the darkness, i watched as darkness flew right past me, the shock of this dream always awakened me, a few days would pass, and i would dream the dream again, in the exact same way, i am unsure how many times i would dream this dream, weeks? months? i do not know, but something magical happened eventually within the dream. when asked to open my eyes, i refused to listen to the voice, because i was now conscious & aware of my self and knew where i was, and i knew what would happened if i listened to it, i awoken without any jolts or fear, and i thought i have beaten the dream, how wrong i was. it was sometime later, but i found my self in the darkness again in the same fetus position, thinking to my self, great! why am i here again for! i thought i beat this dream!, i sat there waiting for the voice to talk to me, but i didn't hear the same voice, i heard the voice of my mother, mark look up and open your eyes, i would obey, and i would be lifted high up and thrown through the darkness just like before, later when i awoken, i realized i was tricked. this dream kept happening over & over, and in every dream, i was totally conscious & aware, i had to get my self to the point, i wouldn't listen to any voices i heard, not even one, sometimes i would open my eyes to the voice, just to wake up!. the hard thing about this, the voice would always change, and somehow would mimic everyone i knew in my life, so i had to realize & and train my self, these aren't my friends or family i am hearing, eventually somehow i reached a point where i wouldn't be tricked anymore or could be fooled, i was telling my friends and my family to get lostand leave me be. when i couldn't be fooled or tricked anymore , i heard this rumble, a rushing of energy coming to where i was sitting, something gathering in one single point. a big angry voice was roaring at me, look up and open your eyes! the voice i knew without question, was the first voice i heard while in the darkness, it was very angry and roaring at me, commanding me to open my eyes and look up, i had to stand my ground, it was as if it was right in my face spitting as it roared at me. for some reason i felt it couldn't touch me while my eyes were closed, that feeling gave me strength, i wouldn't listen to it or open my eyes for it, i was screaming, at it to get lost i then felt a huge weight fall from my shoulders, as i felt the being, or whatever it was leave. right at that moment, i stood up and opened my eyes, staring into the void and beyond it, far off into the darkness, i could see what looked like purple lightning, i awoken from this experience, knowing i defeated the thing in the darkness, i never had this type of dream again, but i have however been to the void again in my older years, it was not my choice, i have discovered i am not alone in this experience, for others have also been to the void. the state of lucidity was mine. but was rekindled by my pursuit of astral projection.

it gave me a open mind