The Meanderings of my day

I don't know what to say
I want to say something
I want to be heard (felt comprehended, seen, expressed)
I want to be seen, felt, expressed, perhaps
engraved into life someway
I don't know what to say
how do I express myself in that way?
I don't know where to go, what to do
riddled, wrapped up
tied up in myself
as I try to tidy up
get my strings in order
ground myself
yet set my self free
I don't know how to express myself free
I know what i mean
I know what to say
but at the same time
I type this today
I do have something to say
it might not be clear to the day
but when I sit in the sun
when I let it warm my face
I relax, and I feel
all that I hesitate to...
all that I hope to
all that I aspire to say
if I just one day
up, up and move away
how long would it take
for the fabric of the city
to even know
I took my escape
how long would it be
until the spaces in which I have
walked, sat, perused
until my absence was noticed in an important way
yet perhaps I think too much
(yes, in fact, I do)
I am a free spirit
trapped in a calculating mind
a body that is sluggish at times
yet I ask
how long would it take
for my absence to be measured
what would my legacy be?
to a place I have lived for over a decade?
maybe I think too much, maybe
but to suggest that to me
is the easy way out
who will receive my poetry
who will receive the essence
I bring, and crave to share
in the meanderings of my day

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