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Mysterious Things- Part 4

  Author: 67528  Category:(Fiction) Created:(5/29/2017 7:57:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1277 times)



Was this her life now? Vampire girl and sister like princess held up in some ancient castle with two men who definitely had major issues. None of those issues having to do with being creatures of the night. Wait she thought. I'm one of those night creatures. Nichole buried her face into the pillows and screamed. What kind of madness was this? What kind of nightmare had she woken up to? Tears easily soaked the pink laced pillow she still held pressed to her face, as she yanked the matching blankets over her head hoping never to come out again. That is until she woke up to the life she'd remembered before all this crap of a story began to unfold. What the heck was she supposed to do as a vampire? Sure her own personal big book of Vampire tales was sitting on the desk in the room she currently occupied. How was that book going to help her right now? The girl in that book was someone totally different from the Nichole that woke up on the front lawn of castle Shroudere. Her mind was racing. Was she just supposed to lay in bed and accept this doom and gloom abyss? Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft tap on the door. Still alive in there Queen of the night? Oh, right of course you are. You're immortal? It was Sean..."Great," she whispered. Heard that Nic! I hear everything. She rolled her eyes and sat up. What do you want Sean? Well....You need to eat something. I'm not hungry.... now please go away! Of course Sean did no such thing. Are you going to stand outside my door all night or what? Please! He exaggerated. I wouldn't dare. In the next second Sean had broken the hinges on the door, sat it aside like it was a piece of white cardboard and casually hopped up into the bed next to Nichole. Propping his head up with his hand to better see her, he smiled. Sitting out there in the hall all night, don't think so Nic. Right here next to you all cuddled up and cozy is just perfect don't you think? He grinned and flashed those piercing blue eyes and Nichole thought she might faint right there in front of the arrogant so and so. She quickly got out of bed and walked over to the window. What's the problem Nic? Come on I don't take up much space. When she didn't comment he calmly walked over to her.

Look I know you think you had this family. No Sean I didn't think. I know I have a family and they are waiting for me. He took a deep breath and laid a hand on her shoulder. Please don't touch me. Sean bit his lip. Nic, I'm not here to hurt you. I want to protect you. Adam and I want to protect you. With your memories gone there is so much you need to know. So many things you have to be careful of. Nichole whirled around instantly. I don't want to be careful Sean, she snapped back. I don't know you, she cried out. I don't know this place and I just want to go home. Her tears kept coming until Sean was a watery blur standing next to her. He couldn't take it. Couldn't see her so upset. Listen. I'm going to help you. I'll take you home Nic. I'll take you back to the family you remember. Really? She whispered. I can go home? He sighed. Yes Nic. You can go home. She hugged him for the first time since her memory loss and it felt right as always. He held her close not knowing if he would get another moment like this one again. Sean stared out of the over sized window they'd been standing in front of and looked out into the distance toward the cemetery. She wasn't going to be happy he thought but it was the only way to get her to see the truth.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
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Date: 6/1/2017 8:32:00 AM  From Authorid: 56297    I've been following your story and I have to say it's very good. I do have a piece of constructive criticism (no rudeness intended). Try separating your dialogue from the remainder of the text. As a general rule, each piece of dialogue should be on its own 'line'.

She rolled her eyes and sat up.

"What do you want Sean?"

It would help us follow who is saying what and where the dialogue begins and ends. Otherwise, very interesting story!
  
Date: 6/2/2017 7:33:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 67528    Thanks so much Tina. Advice is much appreciated.

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