Always Wrong

I became friends with a guy in September of this past year, after being introduced because a mutual friend thought we might date. We had both recently had similarly bad break ups. Even though he told me several times at first he would like to date, and he wanted to see where things I went, he suddenly changed his tune without telling me and said that we were just friends and that nothing could ever happen between us. Of course, not long after this, he started flirting with me, and we started sleeping together. He would tell me that it could never happen again, that it was a bad idea, that we could only ever be friends, that I could never tell anyone. It kept happening, usually when we'd been out and had been drinking a lot. On more than one occasion he told me that I'd eventually have to accept it when he met someone else and started dating them, because he just didn't see anything long term with me. He would tell me that I initiated anything physical, when he was always the one to make the first move.

He began telling everyone that I was his best friend. And very much inserted himself into my daughter's life, telling me how to discipline her, telling me how to parent her. And saying he was going to withdraw his help if I didn't go along with what he said. At various points he would tell me he'd decided we should stop sleeping together, and within half an hour he would be initiating something. Yet never letting me forget that we would never actually be in a relationship. On his birthday he expected me to come out while he met some girl his friend wanted to hook him up with, and told me that he had been introduced to someone at his work new year's party. He would constantly ask me about guys I had previously dated and whether I still had feelings for them. We have continuously been physical through all of this.

In early January of this year, my daughter's health took a turn (she has epilepsy). He became very involved, even coming to the hospital for an entire night so I could sleep. Once she got out we started hanging out with him on a fairly regular basis. At one point about three weeks ago he was invited to a wedding, and informed me I would not be his date because he didn't want anyone, particularly me, to get the wrong idea. About this time I got fairly upset with how much I had been going along faithfully with someone who was ultimately never intending to be with me. I ended up contacting an ex. We spoke for maybe a day, there was no physical contact whatsoever, just some flirting, explicit messages. I have had no contact with this ex for over a year and have had no contact with him since. A few days after this, I was with my friend and my daughter, and he felt that I was being too lenient with her. He put her in another room to go to sleep, and when I got upset because I needed to be able to see her if she had a seizure, he kicked us both out. The next day she was hospitalized for a seizure, and he did not contact me the entire week she was in the hospital. A few days after she got out, he messaged me and asked if we were moving on. We started talking again, on friendly terms, and this past Friday we saw each other for the first time since he kicked us out. The night went fairly well, but at some point I fell asleep, while he was using my phone to order food. He apparently decided to go through my text messages and found the messages between me and my ex, kicked me out of his house, but wouldn't tell me why. He finally told me a few days later, acknowledged that it wasn't cheating because he and I aren't together, but insists that I've been continuing a relationship with someone and lying to him about it. He says he was disgusted by the messages we sent and wants nothing to do with me physically. I told him that I had not spoken to that ex in over a year and nothing physical happened. He accused me of lying, and making him feel like ****, when I previously had told him he could trust me.

I'm confused. I keep blaming myself. I'm aware there are a lot of red flags here. But I never lied to him. He says I ruined the trust between us. But he has done nothing for months but remind me that he will never be with me, and that at some point I'm going to have to get used to him being with someone else.

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