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How do you help someone that hides they need help?

  Author:  55582  Category:(Discussion) Created:(5/31/2016 9:59:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (668 times)

How do you help someone that doesn't want help? Ever since my cousin's dad got out of jail life for her has changed. Her mom sticks up for the dad letting him do drugs and take off for days at a time. The mom also knows he stills from them and does drugs and is ok with it. How sad for a dad (who should be working and not being a bum) to still from his own daughter. Now the daughter is 24 years old and she could leave if she wanted to. However she has no place to go to. She has no friends and now has a man who is 17 years old. Every time I see my cousin I wanna say we know what's going on and try to help her, talk sense into her. But how can I if she don't want anyone knowing what's going on. The only reason we know is because she's telling everything to my aunt who tells us everything. I thought of all people she would of at least told me what was going on. We grew up like brother and sister (we grew up together and are only childs). I'm scared something might happen. Because from what we know everyone is yelling and it gotten so messed up over there that now they are fighting over food. And now the mom orders her daughter to clean up after the dad after he does his drugs in the bathroom. If I had my own place I would tell her to move in with me.

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Replies:      
Date: 5/31/2016 10:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 42945    Yes it is sad Felix but she is 24yrs old, not a little child and at the age she is now, she is the one who has to make the decisions for her life and future...you can only maybe offer support in being her friend..not a lot you can do if she is not willing to discuss it with you...it's sad though that her mother condones what the partner does regarding drugs etc..seems like your cousin should plan on trying to get away from them, get a job if she can and save some money...  
Date: 6/1/2016 7:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 22721    If she dosent want help, you can't do anything. But maybe call the police if you have evidence he's doing drugs.  
Date: 6/1/2016 9:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 31765    I completely agree with Zema.  
Date: 6/1/2016 6:08:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    Just continue to keep the avenues, the channels open so to speak-------you are there for her if she needs you, you are a good cousin & I'm sure she knows that, maybe she feels like it would be a bother, but if you all have always been close, I'm sure she'll tell you what's happening when she's ready, how sad that her dad has so many problems he can't even care for himself much less his wife & daughter, hopefully he will see that he has a very serious problem & he'll get help, let us know how the situation is going, I'll be remembering your cousin, family in Prayer, it's easy I guess to point a finger or to criticize someone in this situation, they are not only hurting themselves but those who love them, too, but sometimes our love for them is their last hope, let's Pray he gets the help he needs & becomes the father and husband they deserve, I'll be thinking of you & your Cousin, family~---------T/C  
Date: 6/2/2016 1:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 62927    This is good advice above. Going through something similar and have tried everything... My next option is to just let go.  
Date: 6/5/2016 12:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 62722    To some people, their grief, their hurt and their problems are very private, and it seems to me that the only way to help, is to kinda put your love for them on "stand-by" in case they ever ask for your help, other than that, not much you can do, specially if they are mindless of your concern.
Care but do not hang your heart out to be damaged.
wolfie
  

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