Death sense

Since I was little I use to have a desire to die. Some part of me wanted to commit suicide. Strange thing to feel for a child as young as I can remember. Since then the feeling has changed and I don't desire to die anymore, but I've had a couple experiences where I seen a dark shadowy figure cloaked in darkness as a kid. I no idea if it's all related or not but I've had several times in my life where I suddenly could sense when someone I know is about to die. I don't know who or when but only that a coming death is near. I experience a strange feeling that's hard to explain but I feel like I'm being watched, that I'm not alone, that 'something' is standing behind me causing the hair on the back of my neck to rise and I get a feeling almost like a dread. Sometimes I want to say something to people to warn them that someone is about to pass, but the feeling fades and I quickly forget almost if it's not meant for me to tell anyone. Only once was I able to tell someone as soon as I experienced it and the next day a person from my past I knew had died. When I think of it all, I wonder if it's all related. Is this shadow figure of my past the angel of death? Does it pay me a visit each time it comes to collect a soul? Does it come to see if I still want to die asking my soul if I'm ready? If that is the angel of death it's not the only one I sense. I recently opened back up this part of me that I shut down out of fear and quickly being reminded of spirits I feel all around us. Have they always been there despite my ignorance or am I summoning them? Who am I inviting into my home?