I am wanted!!!!

I was adopted by my maternal grandparents about 25 years ago. I was about 6 when the adoption was completed. Before that I lived in foster homes, a childrens home and even with my birth father for a little bit, while my birth mother was in the army. Adoption wasn't much better. I was abused, physically, emotionallt and verbally by my maternal grandmother until I was seventeen. When I turned seventeen she went to slap me because I used two pieces of cheese on a grilled cheese sandwich, cuz um... its not a grilled cheese sandwich unless you use two pieces of cheese. So, when I saw her raise her hand I threw a slice of buttered bread at her face and it landed butter side on her face. It was weirdly funny to see her screaming with a slice of bread stuck to her face, but after that she never hit me again. It's taken a long time, but I think within the past year or so, thanks to one of my older sisters, I've really forgiven her and moved on. I don't think of her as my mother and really never have. I remember once when I was around thirteen she told me she only adopted me because she felt like she had to. So, my birth mother is now, legally, my sister. My birth father died when I was eleven, due to Lou Gehrigs disease. Just recently I've ramped up my efforts to find my birth fathers other children or his parents. I'm very close with my birth mothers youngest daughter, who I DO call my little sister. I asked her one day if she could talk to her mom about my birth father and maybe get some answers for me, and my little sister was all for it. My little sister is also pregnant with her first baby. We had a baby shower on Sunday for her, and at the shower my birth mother and I totally bonded over delaying potty training. It was awesome and I posted on FB, in one of my hippie dippie groups about it. My little sister, who is also in the group commented saying "OUR mom is so proud of you. She loves that you homeschool and how close you are to your kids." In a private message she told me that my birth mother tried to get me back, but my maternal grandmother refused. She told me that our mother hates how my maternal grandmother treats me, and how she discounts everything I say or do, that she still cries whenever she talks about me. My birth mother wanted/wants me. I have literally in my life NEVER felt wanted and it is such an amazing feeling. I called her yesterday and asked if we could get together sometime to just talk and really get to know each other. She was so excited. I love how happy she always is, and how she is always laughing. I feel like I finally do have a mom.

I feel wanted. That changes EVERYTHING!!

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