Addiction.

Are there any USMers out there that have struggled with addiction? A few years ago a boyfriend who was a serious alcoholic turned me onto coke. I never understood why he couldn't stop drinking until I felt an addiction myself. I've been living with it for around 2 years now. When I'm sober I feel perfectly normal and don't think I'll ever fall back into it. As soon as someone offers me coke I fall right back into it and have very little desire to drop it. It's been an everyday battle for too long. Shortly before my dependency began I accepted that I was bisexual, less than a few weeks after I was violently raped. It leaves me so lost and confused. It's hard to find anyone in my "real life" that understands. While I admit I have no desire to quit when I'm high, I can't help but think of my younger brother. We live a few hours apart but I don't want to fail him. He just lost our grandmother (our grandparents raised us for most of our lives.) I guess I'm just looking for someone I can talk to or even a website that might help. Any suggestions would be appreciated, but I can't keep living the way that I am.