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Struggling With Depression

  Author:  25481  Category:(Discussion) Created:(12/13/2012 2:48:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1102 times)

I seriously laughed as I typed the title because it sounds like the beginning of a Cymbalta commercial or something.
 
Anyway, I have depression. I was diagnosed with it around the age of 20 but I have always known due to my emotional states and stuff. I was on medication for it for a short period of time and I found myself losing touch with things and feeling like an emotionless-zombie type of person so I discontinued my medication. That was in 2008. I used to go through days/weeks where I just struggled to get out of bed. I would miss many classes just because I would feel bad about things. It actually has never affected my job because I have never allowed it to do that.
 
Anyway, I don't want to take medicine to cope with my depression. Here lately, things have been very hard for me. Changing my major this past year, after not getting accepted into nursing school, was not something I wanted to do. School is a constant struggle because of how much I tend to miss due to my stomach problems acting up. It also kills me how long I've been in college and I feel very unsuccessful. I just feel unhappy.
 
This week was final exams and yesterday (12/12) was my hardest final of all of them. It was my computer science final and it was mostly over the newest material we covered which I've been struggling with. I have been getting tutored all semester by a guy in another class who knows programming very well. He has helped me a lot. I am currently at a C average in the course. To shorten up what would be a very descriptive story, I didn't feel very good about my final after I took it and that immediately affected my mood. I've been really hard on myself inside of my head all day. The reason is because that course is a pre-req for 3 of the courses I'm registered for next semester. If I do not pass it with the grade required to progress, I will have to drop 3 of my classes next semester and consequently it will push me back in my graduation timeframe plan I have set.
 
In addition to that, I told my job I could return to working full time as of yesterday. I called today to check on the schedule because I was going to be going out of town for the weekend and I am only scheduled to work 2 days a week. I haven't worked in a month because of scheduling issues and miscommunication. So, I'm really worried about moeny as well.
 
I'm very pessimistic now and I hate being this way. I immediately jump to worse case scenario or think the worst of situations before anything even happens or without indication of something bad happening. I'm just not as happy of a person anymore. 
 
I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone else like me who doesn't medicate their depression and can cope with it successfully.
How do you do it?
What do you do?  
 
Thanks for reading. 

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Replies:      
Date: 12/13/2012 3:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 39350    I've struggled with depression and anxiety attacks for many years. I was also on paxil for those many years. I've been off paxil for a year now , I weened myself off. The reason I did that was I'm trying to get pregnant and heard paxil was bad for when your trying to conceive. I struggled really bad with the anxiety making me feel like I wanted to throw up every time I was in public. It got to a point I wouldn't eat before I would go out or I would get sick before leaving. Most of the time I would come up with an excuse not to go out. After a long period of time going through this I said I had enough. I took my problem to God. Every day I have to work on it but He gives me the strength to get through. Every day I ask Him to deliver me from my anxiety disorder and these last couple of weeks I have had no problems. When doubt rises in my mind I simply say that fear is not of God and that God is bigger then He who is in the world. Much love!   
Date: 12/13/2012 3:37:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25481    Paxil was the medicine that I was on. I have really bad [test] anxiety too. Like before exams I start to feel like I'm going to throw up.  
Date: 12/13/2012 4:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 64819    Well, I have my days where I feel down and lower than tree roots, it passes in a day or two. I just try to shrug it off. But I have kids I have to wake up and take care of now, so I can't just stay in bed. Just having something to wake up for makes a great difference, I would suggest a dog or cat in your case.  
Date: 12/13/2012 6:05:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25481    Adora, I have 2 cats. Bebe is 5 years old and I adopted a kitten in October & named her Guinevere.  
Date: 12/13/2012 10:51:00 AM  From Authorid: 28848    Exercise, Activities/hobbies, and diet. I know that exercise has greatly improved my mood. I started P90X about 5 months ago. I liked it so much that after I finished the program, I just kept doing it. Activities and hobbies that keep you busy can help to keep your mind off of the negatives in your life. I notice when I get bored, I start to feel depressed. Also diet and regular sleep are very important to the production of serotonin, which will help decrease the affects of depression.  
Date: 12/13/2012 1:16:00 PM  From Authorid: 64942    I'm 45 yrs. old. I have had depression most of my life and I do not take medication. It is something that we who have it will always have to deal with, and the way I cope and keep it at bay is to listen to music, read and try to help others who are less fortunate. It helps me to keep perspective and not fall into a dark pit. Sunlight therapy seems to help, because it increases chemicals in the body. Good diet and walking outdoors or other physical activity. Also writing poetry seems to release some of the built up emotions that can feed the depression.  
Date: 12/13/2012 1:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 53427    I have been diagnosed with major depression and 4 other anxiety/depression problems. So, for me yes I do take meds, I don't have much choice, because its gotten so bad.  
Date: 12/13/2012 2:54:00 PM  From Authorid: 66268    I to sometimes have panic attacks.I'm not on any medication.I took zanax many years ago.
I wasn't prescribed them.Now I say to myself, when I'm in a big crowd, everyone has problems.
No ones superman or superwoman.Take a big breath and just ride it out.When I went to
Moheagan sun to see Bob Dylan, I got lost for an hour.I should have freaked out.
I just said ive come all this way to see Bob, I'm going to see him.
The nmmusic was very loud.Some times I would feel a little overwhelmed.
I just got up and took s step outside, with the security team.no one cared.
Pills are ok for some cases( my mothers on paxil
My niece, hears voices and needs them.That's life and death.
Maybe you could ask your doctor about less addictive, anti anxiety pill.
But I doubt they 've
Invented one, yet.
Jughead67.

.

  
Date: 12/14/2012 6:12:00 AM  From Authorid: 4995    I take abilify for depression. It has been a God sent medicine. I used to scream and rage and cry when I wasn't on it at my boyfriend all the time. It has helped and I've had no side effects to speak of so far. G.  
Date: 12/15/2012 10:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 11097    Hi sweetie, I have struggled with a 'friend' of depression for a long time, anxiety. I actually have 3 different anxiety disorders and I possibly might have depression, but I have always felt I am more melancholy than depressed. I guess I just know things and seen things that have shown me that this world is not a... joyful place, although we are blessed with the ability to find bits and pieces of happiness and joy I believe.
First, do not feel bad about being in college for a long time. I just graduated, I am 28 years old. I am proud of myself for trying and doing something to better myself and having the determination to succeed. You will get there, just hold your head up high and keep going. Stop comparing yourself to others, trust me when I say nothing is as it seems. Do the best you can, keep trying, keep asking questions, keep yourself motivated for you, because your worth it and special.
I missed a lot of school my senior year of high school, I didn't realize it was the beginning of a very bad anxiety problem but I graduated with honors, so as long as you keep up on your work and talk to your professors, believe me, some of them are actually very kind and will work with you, they are just people like you and me too. As for your final, see what you got and go from there. If it's not your best, just say you will do better next time. The key is to not give up. I know, easier said than done. But it's the truth.
I am also an excessive worrier, and one thing will ruin my mood for days. It is the worst habit I have, and I can get extremely difficult to deal with when I am upset. But I have tried to learn not to let things get to me so much, because in the end, the stress is not worth it. I have OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, and panic attacks. I do not take medication. I have been told I should, but I have anxiety about medication and I am not one to numb myself of anything, I am stubborn, but it has paid off. I have learned to do something called "zen out" and I know it sounds cliche but let me explain. It has to do with breathing, and I think you can apply it to depression as well. When you feel that feeling when you know your starting to panic, or your starting to feel bad and your mood is slipping, start taking deep 'soul-ful' breaths. Clear your mind and tell yourself, I am experiencing (enter feeling here) and it is a fleeting feeling, it will not hold me down or block my happiness or love. Breath through it and remember things that are important to you, things that do bring you happiness. Then, let it go and carry on. Your mind is an amazing thing, you can teach yourself to respond to gratitude, happiness, love and not fear or sadness. Our response to what happens to us and how we think and feel is the most important thing.
There is also a few things you can do as well: write it out in a private journal, listen to music that fills you (not makes you feel sad... I used to do that) force yourself, that right, force yourself to go against the depression (I have done this for years with anxiety and I believe this is the number one thing that has kept me off medication) treat it like an unwelcome guest, read- there are hundreds of books on this subject that can help, look into a faith that incorporates your beliefs- a feeling of belonging to something, and connect with people. Also, plenty of water, sleep, vitamins (especially vitamin D) and you can take St. John's Wort.
Hang in there, you will make it. and you can always message me and I am sure many here at USM are willing to listen.
  
Date: 12/15/2012 11:00:00 AM  From Authorid: 11097    I also love Adora's comment, yes... a furry companion can make all the difference.   
Date: 12/16/2012 5:05:00 PM  From Authorid: 49101    When you get the answer pass it along please.   
Date: 12/16/2012 8:40:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 25481    My cats and boyfriend make a huge difference but still, sometimes it's not enough. I don't know why but this week has been a huge struggle for me. I am thinking of seeing a doctor about it. Thank you for your advice.  
Date: 12/21/2012 7:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 46659    I have Been Struggled with Depression, Anxiety Im on Wellburtin its does help me alot most important that u stay on meds even I hate it but I still have to take it it will help me feel better and anxiety u just gotta try take avitian for anxiety it helps me alot but I hope u do consider abt staying meds  

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