Family Issues

My Mother in Law is a nightmare. Absolute nightmare. I understand she had a rough life, however, she has used that as a crutch her whole life, and never accepted responsibility for the route her life has taken. We have extremely differing views on everything, which was fine until my daughter was born. She has shown a clear preference for my husband's other daughter from a previous relationship, and has barely had anything to do with my daughter. She has seen her ONCE in the last few months, yet is here every weekend to get my husband's other daughter for church. She doesn't even come in. The one time she saw our daughter, she only came over because her boyfriend went out and she was bored. Recently I have become fed up with her forcing her religion on me. She knows I do not identify as Christian, yet forces me to say grace every time we eat. She even refused to allow me to eat when I was pregnant until she was READY to say grace. I normally don't have a problem saying grace in other people's homes, however, I am not allowed to mention that I believe other things in front of her, because it offends her. I can not acknowledge what I believe in any capacity because of her feelings being hurt. Recently she has started requesting that she be allowed to take my daughter to church. This I find unacceptable. I had already intended to take my daughter to the Methodist church that I was raised in, my MIL thinks Methodists are devil worshippers, so are Lutherans and Catholics. I do not want my daughter raised to hate and fear other people the way my MIL does, and the way she tried to raise my husband and his brother to.

Not only that, but she was physically and emotionally abusive to her sons all their lives and is still EXTREMELY emotionally abusive. She knocked two teeth out of my husband's head with one slap. She beat them with 2X4s for sticking one toe out of line. When my husband started working at fifteen, she demanded twenty percent of his paychecks and said she was saving it for him for college. When he was eighteen, he moved out, and because he moved out without her permission, she took all of the money and spent it. When he and I started dating, he got his first really good job, and she constantly begged him for money. He sometimes gave her half of his paycheck and she would pocket it and then want to know why he never took her out for dinner. She knew we were struggling, but told him he needed to take care of her first. If he couldn't afford to give her as much as she wanted, she'd go on and on about how she raised him all alone and he's so ungrateful and he's such a horrible person and how did she raise such terrible sons. When he lost his job, her first question was whether or not he'd still pay for her storage lockers. Literally, that was the first thing she asked.

She has done nothing but insult me since the first time she met me, calling me a not so nice name for living with my husband before we were married, telling me that he and I have financial problems because I don't submit to his authority, it goes on and on. I don't think she is a good person for my daughter to be around, especially because she doesn't even care how obvious it is that she prefers my husband's other daughter.

How do I explain to her that I don't want her to take my daughter overnight or to church at all?