Harold Lawton was scanning his refridgerator's empty shelves.All that was left in the white monolith,was a beer bottle,and a green,mossy like mass,that seemed to be perculating by itself.Harold's ex finance Laura,the previous month,had left a note that said:Good luck Harold.we'll always have Disneyland".Laura left a months supply of groceries to live on.she also took thecoffemaker(ouch).Harold,now down to zero rations,decided to brave the food shopping jungles.He decided to go to Happy,Happy,market,only a short click away from Harold's mancave.
Harold arrived at Happy,Happy market and prepared to grab a cart and stroll in.As Harold entered Happy market,he could detect an eerie jingle,jangle music playing.It made Harold's skin crawl.Harold wen't up to a glass case,holding muffins.as he grabbed a blueberry one,he heard"no.no.put me back!" "a fly landed on me."pick another.Harold did what the muffin sHeaid and picked another.silence. Harold wen't up to a bunch of bannana's when he heard a voice say" no.no!"not ripe left".come back tomorrow!.Harold now felt a little freaked out,but he pressed on.The jingle,jangle music,was still accompanying Harold on his trippy,trip through the food shopping jungles.It wasn't too bad.The food seemed to have Harold's best interests,at heart.Picking up a prepared shepards pie,he heard a gruff voice say"put me down,kid!"I'll block up atll your arteries!"...Harold laughed...I'll take my chances"." It's your funeral kid" the pie replied.
Everytime Harold picked up a food item,in the Happy market',the food seemed to protest or give advice."I'm too sugary"said the corn pops.Harold,at first was a little freaked out.He thought maybe candid camera had been rebooted", and he was the first victim.a Carton of Pop tarts pleaded with Harold to put them down and buy some oatmeal instead.Harold got to the soda section and picked up his favorite bubbly soda.the soda spoke"Put me down"."my fizz is gone". " join the club".Harold
replied.Harold had the paper towels telling him they weren't absorbant enough.the tissues too rough.The washing detergent
even chimed in to say it was toxic and Harold should just use baking soda.Harold squeezed a loaf of bread that giggled and Said"I'm very fresh sweetie,take me home.Now the bread was flirting with him.That would show Laura,what she was missing Harold picked some healthy Tv dinners(if there is such a thing) that didn't say anything.Harold was too distracted to go to the deli,so he picked up some pres packaged meat that groaned"Noooooo Noooooo!"..Harold put the meat back.Harold got a roar of approval from the beer section."hey Harold baby! cried the assortment of bottled hangovers.Harold picked his favorite brand then moved on.The milk (two percent) said "good boy!".. the orange juice was pleased too.
Harold wasn't bothered by his talking groceries.It made him feel a little special.Not everybody is told the straight truth in their life.The food was telling Harold the truth.Harold needed a little tough love,and guidance.don't we all.It's a jungle out there, and life is like( another wise man said) a box of chocolates and you never know what your gonna get.
Harold placed his groceries on the register belt.The girl said cheerily"Find everything you need?".Harold paused,looked down at his purchases and said" yeah."I think,for now.......jughead67. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
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