REFLECTING.....by Hairbear..

today is a far cry from yesterday
how can something seem so far away,

yet

still so near...

some days I feel as if I am still me
others...
not so sure

I am a far cry from who I was
a far cry from who I want to be

yet I sit and still feel like myself, but not?

my mind has me stuck at twentysomething
but my eyes...

my eyes feel heavy and worn
some days as if made of lead, they weigh heavy
I wonder if I look in the mirror...

who would be staring back at me?

less often I gaze upon the reflection in the mirror
I am afraid of who will be looking back at me.

I feel like myself, but will I have aged,
does my skin hang as heavy as my eyes feel
the weight of the world lays heavy on my spine
I feel as if I had shrunk
feel smaller in a sort

I once had many dreams
played within my mind
so many times how I was to attain those dreams

and time passed....quickly
some day felt as if they had dragged, others flew by
my weary look back on life
every day had flown by

moments dissapeared into yesterdays,
would haves,
could haves,
should haves.........

each day passed
faith and hope kept me going
time kept on pulling
running us all over

so many things passed
so many things came to be

never a regret within any given moment

just afraid to gaze upon the aging person
I would not want to see someone looking back at me I do not know.

I suppose,
in my outloud thinking,
I am telling myself to get moving again
get living and doing...

some days a person may feel a bit guilty
at times depressed...but that is just human nature
we all get like that from time to time I assume.

I can not say
life is at all bad,
certainly it is not,
life has changed, children grow up
children are born
relationships change with friends, family, aquaintences
its all good,
life has a way of going no mater what

into the direction it is meant to be,
even if we have strayed off the path
destiny always puts you where you belong

where ever you are...there youare

and here I am...

driving myself nuts in the loud silence of this room
thinking outloud to myself and others

I have aged well thus far
I have lived life well during this life
will continue to do so

I just wish my eye lids would go back to where they used to be
which is up more than where they are now LOL

in all
my outward thinking
within the few moments it took to think my thought

my thought is...
I can look that person in the mirror.
I like her

she is nuts... :)

which is the way I like her

out in this world somewhere

instead of no where

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