Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index Go to Free account page
Go to frequently asked mystery questions Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index
Welcome: to Unsolved Mysteries 1 2 3
 
 New Mystery StoryNew Unsolved Mystery UserLogon to Unsolved MysteriesRead Random Mystery StoryChat on Unsolved MysteriesMystery Coffee housePsychic Advice on Unsolved MysteriesGeneral Mysterious AdviceSerious Mysterious AdviceReplies Wanted on these mystery stories
 




Show Stories by
Newest
Recently Updated
Wanting Replies
Recently Replied to
Discussions&Questions
Site Suggestions
Highest Rated
Most Rated
General Advice

Ancient Beliefs
Angels, God, Spiritual
Animals&Pets
Comedy
Conspiracy Theories
Debates
Dreams
Dream Interpretation
Embarrassing Moments
Entertainment
ESP
General Interest
Ghosts/Apparitions
Hauntings
History
Horror
Household tips
Human Interest
Humor / Jokes
In Recognition of
Lost Friends/Family
Missing Persons
Music
Mysterious Happenings
Mysterious Sounds
Near Death Experience
Ouija Mysteries
Out of Body Experience
Party Line
Philosophy
Poetry
Prayers
Predictions
Psychic Advice
Quotes
Religious / Religions
Reviews
Riddles
Science
Sci-fi
Serious Advice
Strictly Fiction
Unsolved Crimes
UFOs
Urban Legends
USM Events and People
USM Games
In Memory of
Self Help
Search Stories:


Stories By AuthorId:


Google
Web Site   

Bookmark and Share



Another Award I'd Like To See Here ~~PerniciousPerpetrator~~

  Author:  5301  Category:(Suggestion) Created:(9/13/2011 7:36:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (2290 times)

 

 

 

 Good morning USM !

I must apologize, I've been away for a short while getting some personal things done.

I did however spend a little time patching together a little doodad that I am presenting here

for the consideration of the admins as a potential new award.

I have a bad habit of making these things much too large for use in their present state

but I do have a lot of faith that, with a little tweaking, they could be usable.

 

This award would be presented to those people that know how to smile

and to bring that smile to the visages of others.

 

I had to do two versions of this thing as I do realise that some folks

can't handle the really graphic imagery that I am sometimes prone to present.

Please be aware that I am giving you this warning ahead of time and

by doing so, my lawyer tells me that I can not be held responsible

for any trauma that comes about for those that haven't heeded the warning.

 

Version Number One

This is the watered-down version.

No violence, nothing here to offend.

 

However,

if you feel yourself to have strong intestinal fortitude,

I will also present my second version.

This one may cause sleepless nights, nausea, muscle cramps, brain aneurisms,vertigo and any

number of terrible side-effects.

You have been warned !

Scroll down a bit.

I didn't want to put it too close to the first one just in case both showed on your monitor at the same time.

If you want to make a reply about the first one but don't want to take a chance on the second,

close your eyes when scrolling down. A bell will ring when you reach the comment box.

I did this for you.

 

SCROLL

 

SCROLL

 

SCROLL

 

SCROLL

 

Okay, I think we're safe now.

 

Version Number Two

Complete mayhem, offensive stuff

 

If you think that either of these two versions might be acceptable,

write a letter to your head of state and advise them to "lean on"

George and Ginger a bit to make it happen.

 

(I guess this is the end of my account here)

 

 

 

 

You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here

Scroll all the way down to read replies.

Show all stories by   Author:  5301 ( Click here )

Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 9/13/2011 7:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 4995    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was classic. I need a laugh today. Thanks.  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:03:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...CP...I resisted the urge to make a third version wherein the crow meets his maker at the hands of the homeowner.

That may have caused Hack to have bad dreams and I do try to be careful when considering the feelings of others.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 64365    LOL!!! This is priceless!  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:22:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...yeah, it is free sweetie.
I just wonder if I can collect royalties somehow.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:27:00 AM  From Authorid: 44960    What did you put on that STUFF to make the flame so high?!!   
Date: 9/13/2011 8:30:00 AM  From Authorid: 44960    ^^^ "STUFF" is politically correct for the subject matter it represents!!  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:31:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...fertilizer Priss.
A home made variety.
Secret formula.

Hint: contains hot sauce.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:32:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...I think you've just hurt my feelings Priss.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 44960    Aww, Just clean yer shoes, you'll be just fine!! LOL!  
Date: 9/13/2011 8:38:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...wasn't wearing shoes.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 9:44:00 AM  From Authorid: 5061    my congressman is still on vacation.he left with the utters who made fools of themselves."member hek"  
Date: 9/13/2011 9:50:00 AM  From Authorid: 5061    I'd also like to mention,have ya been in the field out in the back 40 here,smoking that loco weed?
are we doomed,Not.I needed a funny this morning.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:13:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...Star Two. I won't admit to smoking the loco weed but I will admit that I was out in the back 40 with your chickens.

Now you know.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 64985    Hekler...Yeah I heard of these type of greetings when I was a kid, they were funny then too ha ha ha ha ..Corolator  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:24:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...thanks for stopping in Corolator.

I think they should get rid of all the weapons in the world and make up these little bags of fun instead.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:24:00 AM  From Authorid: 62813    ROTFLOL @ Hekler !!! You are a stinker hahahahaha   
Date: 9/13/2011 10:29:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...not a stinker Slick Chick.
Just a warrior against the evil empire of WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:32:00 AM  From Authorid: 5061    Is that why the chickens are cackling? will they ever be right again.tune in tomorrow usm,
Will the senators,and the congressmen,lean on G&G to get this award passed,will my hens stay happy?
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:34:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...all I can say is that I hope the chicks look like their mother.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:39:00 AM  From Authorid: 5061    Well,there are several things gone a fowl here.two many colored roosters,so will you settle for a roade Irland red,mixed.  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:48:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...it sounds like you're trying to hook me up with Foghorn Leghorn.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 64365    yep...does sound like she's spurring him on  
Date: 9/13/2011 10:59:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...wattle I do about this?
  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:00:00 AM  From Authorid: 64365    egg if I know  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:15:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...comb over and we can discuss the problem.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 64819    I really liked the 2nd one, I'd love to get that award.  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:29:00 AM  From Authorid: 64365    yeah....we could talk til the...uh...rooster crows at the crack of daylight  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:30:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...answer your door at about 9 PM tonight Adora.
You'll get what's coming to you.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:33:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...what kind of sound does a rooster make?
I'm not from the country.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 44960    Some days you step in it... Some days you don't!!   
Date: 9/13/2011 11:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 64819    Hek, I'm smarter than to step on anything flaming, I'll pour water on it instead :P  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:35:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...Priss was forever imprinted by an Almond Joy commercial.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 11:39:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...that's why I add magnesium into the mix Adora.
It sure don't like water.
FLAME ON!
  
Date: 9/13/2011 12:03:00 PM  From Authorid: 14314    LOLOLOL   
Date: 9/13/2011 12:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    I guess Halloween came early this year!  
Date: 9/13/2011 12:31:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...happens to you often HL ?
  
Date: 9/13/2011 12:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 5940    Only from my closest of friends....   
Date: 9/13/2011 1:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 5061    Darn it, if ya'll aren't over here just going off on my chickens,and they are innocent.just pic on anything or anybody,"why don't cha"  
Date: 9/13/2011 1:11:00 PM  From Authorid: 5061    Hekler,i just saw that leghorn comment,"foghorn leghorn"he's a rooster like you,like same equitment like you,so better stick with the hens,roosters are a tad chewyer,and think baking hen.okay,it'll be ok in the morning take two aspris and call me...okay.  
Date: 9/13/2011 1:12:00 PM  From Authorid: 5061    ok,my sides hurt,brb.  
Date: 9/13/2011 1:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 5301    
...your chickens want to meet the Colonel.
  
Date: 9/13/2011 2:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 5061    Hekler,you're giving my birds a complex,lets try cow tipping.  

Find great Easter stories on Angels Feather
Information Privacy policy and Copyrights

Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization

Pages:701 1438 78 702 700 1397 738 717 1468 253 1086 1326 1486 1466 443 1064 1248 854 257 86 1187 817 1428 194 1 963 432 459 1375 332 247 1247 311 23 877 646 248 1417 1479 886 190 4 1285 771 1428 405 928 1299 271 1401 970 487 364 553 823 1399 1416 833 1276 1368 1127 43 1018 824 709 1444 1567 1316 1215 781 1392 738 261 905 36 156 352 1200 1048 1429 7 209 900 439 1284 257 716 1511 107 1276