A daily struggle

Overcoming anything is difficult. After all no one said life was easy! It what you make of it.

It's been a long journey for me. After all it started back from primary school. It's been a daily struggle for the last 15 or so years. I don't want pity or words of sorrow. I just want to share my story in hope that if anyone else is struggling with the same issues they seek help - early on in the illness, before it takes over your every thought, every minute of everyday, being afraid, being scared of something that has to be done. The illness I am talking about is eating disorder - any kind - disturbed eating, dieting, compulsive eating the list goes on, but the ones most people know about are anorexia and bulimia.

I have suffered with these two illnesses for the last 15 years - it has taken a long time for me to relies just how much these diseases affect your life, your confidence, and your health. Everyday thinking about food, your weight, what's going to happen really does take it out of you. It's like a jail sentence - that you don't know if you will escape or not - but you must - for the sake of your family, your friends and the people you are close too.

I relies how much this not only affects me, but the people I am close too...those people who care about me the most - they can't help me - I am the only one who can help myself - of course you can turn to them, but the pressure of it all - the frustration it causes. You are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting the people you love the most and most importanty you are hurting yourself.

I suppose this all just seem like ramble and it is, but living in the silence of these problems is something you can't do forever - it does kill, if not literally, emotionally and physically - i look back at all the opportunities I have missed, because of suffering this horrible illness. It has taken 15 years for me to relies the serious of it all, and to relies you can not overcome these issues by yourself, after all the hardest part it asking or telling someone you have a problem.

In my mind io still believe I can overcome this illness on my own, but in my heart I know this is nearly impossible, after all if I could do it I would of already - I admit defeat ion a way that I understand I need help, but sometimes you are just to afraid to ask for it.

I urge anyone that is going through life worried about your weight, or who have developed an eating disorder to tell someone early on, because it gets harder as the ilness progresses.

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