A very close friend of mine is in a very negative situation. This friend has always had a problem with needing a man in her life, but since she got married, the man in her life has done nothing but ruin it. When I met her she was engaged to my friend's older brother. However, after discovering that he cheated on her, she became pregnant by an ex. I raised her son for the first year of his life because she was too busy partying and trying to find a new man.
When her son was a year old, she began talking to her ex fiance's best friend. Within a month he had moved himself in, with visits from his two sons from a previous marriage for extended periods of time, and within three months, he had gotten his name put on her son's birth certificate, even though he is NOT the father, and had gotten her pregnant. He began referring to her condo as his and dictating who could and could not be there. They got married half way through the pregnancy, and then he enlisted in the army for the SECOND time (thanks to a high ranking uncle pulling strings) and was gone before she gave birth.
He ended up going AWOL after boot camp, came home and moved my friend two states away to live in one room in his parents' barn, while she was pregnant a third time. I lost contact with her for the next few months, until she called asking if I would come out and take care of the kids while she gave birth. I already had a ticket to Europe and told them so. He condescendingly said it was funny that Paris was more important.
They moved back three months later and lived separately for two months, until he found out people were convincing her to leave him and he moved in, and took over in her mother's apartment.
Last summer they got a house, not a large one by any means, barely large enough for them and the kids. Since then, things have deteriorated quickly. I have no problem with women who want to be wives and mothers, what I have a problem with is women who allow themselves to become enslaved. All the bills are in her name, but he keeps forcing her to quit her jobs to be at home, even her $18 an hour post office job. He won't pay the bills and spends whatever money she brings in. She finally got food stamps and he uses them to have cook outs for his friends. She got a job at a casino working until 4 or 5 in the morning and he still expects her to get up with the kids. She wanted to go back to school to work with autistic children, he told her to go back for accounting. When she signed up for school, he threatened to have the internet turned off so she couldn't do her work.
He somehow has two phones, one of which he will not allow her to see or touch, yet he is always texting someone on it.
He is always moving someone in to the "spare" room, and a friend pointed out that that person becomes a buffer, so it is not like a real marriage.
He threw out all of her clothes, shoes, and make up that he didn't like, and got mad at her for having a library card. She got two tickets from the hospital she gave birth in to a baseball game, and he took them and took another FEMALE on my friend's birthday.
He kicks their dog, is abusive to her son, and regularly tells people that even though he is on the birth certificate, he is not the father. He leaves for work at 8 am and does not come home until 330 am. He takes other people out for dinner and lunch and won't even give her money for the things she needs.
She has talked about leaving, but has nowhere to go with three kids, and an empty bank account. He has also threatened to hunt her down and kill her or make every man leave her.
I don't know how to help her anymore. He is ruining her life, her credit, their children's lives, and he says he has the right because he is the man. She can't contact any shelters for help because he tracks her calls, texts, emails and facebook accounts...he has all of her log in information.
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