French Military History 101…
If you include France in the Roman Empire, (which it was a part of) the battles would include the following:
1.)Gallic Wars 58 BC which the French ultimately lost… you could blame the Romans I suppose as they were conquering everything at the time. But even the Romans conquered the area now known as France… so that may be actually two losses right off the bat…
2.)Hundred Year War: mostly lost – the victories came from Joan of Arc who was sold to the enemy then they in turn they burned her at the stake… It also proved at that time no Frenchman could lead a French Army. 1335-1455
3.)Italian Wars – Lost The First and only country to lose to the Italians… 1494-1559
4.)Wars of Religion: the French against the Huguenots mostly from reading different articles it seems that that they traded real-estate from 1562-1600 they never actually won but tied 6 times and lost 3.
5.)Thirty Year War: (1618-1648) France was not actually a participant but was invaded. French historians claim a tie because other participants started ignoring France all together. I call it a loss.
6.)War of Devolution 1667-1668 The French did take the Spanish Netherlands but had to give it back to the Triple Alliance (England, Dutch Republic and Sweden) was a tie
7.)The Dutch War 1672-1678 which was also a tie
8.)War of Augsburg (1686-1689), King Williams War (1689-1697) and French and Indian War (1754-1763) were all lost, (however some French Historians claim them as ties – which is their deluded height of military power) It must be added here that The War of Spanish Succession (1701-1714)was loss
9.)War of the Quadruple Alliance 1718- 1720 against Spain – the French did win that one – but they had the help of Britain, Austria and the Dutch Republic. For those that want to keep track, the French have up to this point: 1 win, 12 losses and 8 ties.
10.)American Revolution 1775-1783 (French won again but due to the fact that the Colonists did most of the fighting we did win, but to the French we thank you for showing up).
11.)French Revolution 1789-1799 you could say the French won – but it was against other French so it could also be a loss. However, I do have to put this in the win column because it affected change in most of Europe.
12.)Napoleonic Wars – 1799-1815 though they lost they were commanded by a great General, later Field Marshal and Emperor, Napoleon Bonaparte who wasn’t even French, he was born on the island Corsica in the Mediterranean.
13.)Franco-Prussian War 1870-1871 lost
14.)WWI 1914–1918 invaded by Germany and was on the brink of collapse until U.S. involvement. If we didn’t go in, the Germans from the Russian front would have arrived and reinforced the western front. U.S. involvement negated German reinforcements.
15.)WWII – Invaded by Germany again in May 1940. The French watched the Germans pound Poland in September 1939 and then watched the German buildup all winter long along their border. It took the Germans all of 6 weeks to force France to surrender – 2 weeks longer than Poland. (Poland also had to fight the Russian on their eastern border).
16.)French Vietnam War 1946-1954 loss (The U.S. left Vietnam in 1972, South Vietnam held out and continued to fight until 1975. So we did not lose we pulled out).
17.)Algerian Rebellion 1954-1962- lost first time the Algerians beat a western military force since the crusades.
After checking this a few times: 3 Wins 17 losses and 8 Ties in 2020 years. A record no one can beat! If a boxer had this kind of record I'd say, "Change your career this ones not working for ya."
That brings us to the following:
General George Patton United States Army, “I would rather have one German division in front of me than one French division behind me.”
The reason he said this, In North Africa when American forces first landed to throw back the Germans, we had to take French Garrisons that feared more from the Germans than from us. Some allied ships were lost to the French guns. Also, in France, General Patton had no idea if the French were going to just retreat further behind him, attack him or do anything he ordered them to do, like close the gaps on the encirclements. (Which the French never did once and increased the length of the war as German armor and other units pulled out of the noose), of course the Brits were no better with Montgomery’s Operation Market Garden which did not do much more than get thousands of paratroopers killed and draw out the war further.
Movie Quote Kelly’s Heroes: Major General Colt, “De Gaulle? He aint even in this war!”
Q: Why did they call it the Maginot Line?
Answer: Because Imaginary Line was too explicit
Q: What’s the difference between French tanks and Italian tanks?
Answer: Italian tanks have five gears, one forward four reverse, French tanks have five gears also but ALL reverse.
Q: How did one German get 100,000 French to surrender?
Answer: He stated: “Raise one hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French.”
Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they were nearing Paris?
Answer:”Table for one hundred thousand?”
Q: Why did the French sink British ships at Dunkirk?
Answer: The French said, “Those aren’t OUR ships.”
Q: Why did the French sink American ships at North Africa?
Answer: “Those aren’t OUR ships.”
Q: Why didn’t the French sink any German ships in all of WWII?
Answer: “Are those our ships?”
Q: What happened when there was a fireworks display at Euro Disney?
Answer: The French garrison at Paris surrendered.
Q: How many names are in the French Book of Heroes?
-A: Two. Napoleon and he wasn’t even French he was born on Corsica, an island in the Mediterranean just west of Italy and Joan of Arc who the French turned her over to the enemy and was burned at the stake.
I did Google search on French Military Victories and the first thing I saw was: “did not match any documents” so I clicked on it.
And it said: “Did you mean: French Military Defeats?”
Some one knows their history well! The French had better tanks than the Germans but the French did not mass them like the Germans had - they did at one point but with Poland's collapse the French dispersed the tanks and so the effectiveness of the armor was nullified. 
