My writing attempt - :-P

BUT WHY MUMMY? By Toni

I don’t understand why Nana won’t let me go in the car with mummy. She says that funerals aren’t for little boys, and that if she had her way, I wouldn’t even be allowed to be here. But mummy says that it was important for kids to be able to say goodbye too. That’s why I went to Grandpa George’s funeral. It wasn’t that bad. There wasn’t that much crying. Mummy said that was ‘cos Grandpa George was old and that he had a good life.

So why can’t I go with mummy in the car this time? Nana said because she is too sad. Saying goodbye to a young person is harder and that she doesn’t want me to get upset seeing mummy cry. Gee, I’ve seen mummy cry before. She cries when daddy yells sometimes. She always cries when she is watching her favourite movie, Beaches. I’ve seen her cry lots of times. So why can’t I go in the car with mummy? I promise I’ll be good. Yay! Nana says she can’t stand me nagging her anymore, and her friend said that she should just let me.

Why won’t mummy talk to me? She is just sitting there staring out the window. I’ve been trying to cheer her up. Singing, telling her jokes, and she is still sad. Sometimes she has smiled, but not laughed. She always laughs when I tell her jokes. She says that I’m her good medicine man.

Oh oh, what did I do? Mum only ever says my whole name when she is mad at me. I’m always Timmy or Tim Tam. Never Timothy. Now she is yelling it.

I don’t like it here. Everyone is crying. No matter how hard I try, I can’t make anyone happy. They all just keep crying. Make them stop mummy. I don’t like it here.

Nana says that the big hole was made by a digger. I wish the digger was here now. She said it will come later, when we’ve all gone and will push the dirt back into the hole. I want to stay to watch that. But Nana says no. Gee she is bossy.

Mummy is sitting on a chair next to the hole. I’m on her knee. She is crying again, but very quietly. Her tears are making me all wet. I haven’t got a tissue, so I have to wipe her tears with my finger, just like mummy wipes mine away. I just want my mummy to stop being sad.

We’re in bed now. I’m all snuggled up to mummy. She feels good. I love cuddle time. Mummy is still crying. She must’ve drank lots and lots of water, because she has lots and lots of tears. Nana is here again. She says it’s time to go. I want to stay with mummy. Nana says that I have to let mummy be by herself. That I have to give mummy the space to breathe. Mummy is breathing. Silly Nana. She would be dead if she wasn’t breathing. Mummy told me that. She said that if you stop breathing you die. She said it over and over again, “Breathe Timmy, breathe. Don’t stop breathing Timmy, you don’t want to die.”

I tried mummy, I tried to breathe. But it was too hard. I really tried. Sorry mummy. I didn’t mean to die.

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