Edge of Darkness Part 11

The black thick ink on my hands dripped like I had just squeezed a black orange. The juice of it flowing freely from my hands trailing down my arms. I looked for him. Ryan was in the mist of darkness. His eyes flaming green calling and seducing me to say yes to the darkness. I knew what it was. The energy from me was Ryan. His clearly painted image only blurring at the edges. I could give in at that moment and the human in me would forever be with Ryan. I would never be alone. Did it matter the cost? Did it matter what consequences that would come? I wanted to die. I wanted to end all of this. Right. Just end everything. What did it matter anymore? The easy road right in front of me. I would never get the chance to take it back if I let go and left with Ryan. Darkness seemed to blot out all light and sounds. I would be soulless if I let go but I would forever be with Ryan. Once again I did it.

I had to choose who to kill. Humanity was something I had never been good at. I always made the wrong moves. I always let the people I love die. They should have killed me. Then this darkness never would have been let out. The darkness is what a vampire is. They are death put in fleshy human suits. Blood is all they want. It is the only way to survive an eternity where you kill everything you get close to. I had already done that. I killed Ryan once. I did not give him peace but stripped it from him. I let him burn alone. How could I choose humanity? I would never be the person I once was. I had been the happy human a long time ago. Before I said yes to them I was already dead. It was too late this time. My hands covered in his blood. Jace lay on the floor in a pool of his own blood. His blue eyes pleading with me, begging me to turn back to him. I was consumed by the emptiness calling to me. I needed it. It took away all the pain and gave me what I wanted most. I would not be alone. There would be the end of everything. The end of my humanity. I did not want it. How could I choose it over Ryan. I had taken everything from him. I had left him alone in the dark.

I moved toward Ryan. I took one glance at Jace. His color all washed away from him. He knew my choice. I could not do it again. I could not watch him die. All I had done was fall in love with him. At the end he tried to save me. To take me from this darkness. I moved my hand over his face. Ryan’s eyes blazing with the green I missed, the color I needed to see. I needed to breathe him in. I needed him. The sun kissed brown hair moved easily through my fingers. Palled lips so soft and so known to me. I kissed him and the darkness drew back to me. I wrapped my arms around him. I needed him. I felt them coming, the tears streaming from my face. The black ink covered my face. I wanted him to wipe the tears away. My hands were already covered in the darkness from Jace.

The edges frayed from view of everything. This was it. Life with Ryan never alone or pain and utter emptiness with Jace. Darkness for all eternity or fighting to find it? Bury me alive. Someone just take this away. I did not want to choose. The truth was that I had already made my choice. I would lose no matter what. “Emily.” The darkness called sweetly to me. I closed my eyes. How could I face it? I could not let me be fooled again. It was too late to save him and it was too late for me. I belonged with the darkness. I was a murder, a killer. I was going to have to live with the consequences of this choice. It was gone. The world I knew to be mine. I felt it leave. I opened my eyes thick with darkness. I had not killed him once but now it was twice. I let the humanity in Jace live. My humanity who knows if it is possible to have it. The world around me flooded with daylight. Nothing would free me from this sorrow. It was too late. Like everything else I loved I killed him. “Thank you.” Panted words through his pain called to me.

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