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Date: 9/23/2009 7:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 61968
On top of all that she may be experiencing seperation anxiety from school, and you are working so your out of the house more...so, she prolly needs adjustment time for that as well...and the other things too...  |
Date: 9/23/2009 7:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
I never thought about separation anxiety. Only because she leaves me so easily to go to school, but she is the type who would hide her fears and worries. It's alot for her to process, especially since she has never been in a setting like this. I just kinda feel like I'm failing her. I just really hope I don't screw her up for life.  |
Date: 9/23/2009 7:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 28848
You could try time outs when she throws a fit. Don't give in to her because then she will learn that is how she gets what she wants.  |
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Date: 9/23/2009 8:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Yeah, I like the idea of time outs. Sticking her in a corner doesn't really work, so I was thinking, remember when you were little in elementary and misbehaved and had to stay in from recess, and put your head down on your desk? I'm gonna try that with her. Another issue though that I have is when I don't give in to her my husband totally undermines me. That is so frustrating. |
Date: 9/23/2009 9:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 7710
It's hard when your husband won't cooperate. I know what you're talking about because my mom and dad can never seem to agree on anything. ReleaseMe offered a good suggestion. If you ignore her temper-tantrums (which is tough to do), she'll eventually realize that throwing tantrums would get her anything and she'll stop doing it. Hope everything works out   |
Date: 9/23/2009 9:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Well for one she is young and at that age she is going to try these things so it may not even be anything that you or your husband is doing. However she CAN feel the stress of a situation without seeing the reason for the stress. Kids are like that. You know the marriage isn't going anywhere so its better to get out now instead of waiting for later.  |
Date: 9/23/2009 9:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
I tend to agree with Firstborn on this hun..  |
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Date: 9/24/2009 10:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 64747
I am not a mother or a wife so I can not really comment or offer you advice. But what I can say is that I agree with firstborn. But I also think that you need a bit of time to your self to think about the issues in your life right now. What's the best thing to do for you and your daughter? I really hope everything works out for you hun and I will keep you in my thoughts! Irish Lass  |
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Date: 9/24/2009 10:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
Every child tries the tantrum thing at some point. They are trying to get attention and a tantrum is one way to get attention. If you want to end the tantrums you need to enlist your husbands support and then when she does a tantrum you need to do your best to ignore it. If it's in the house, carry her to her room and then leave. Don't yell, don't try to make nice.. Just put her in her room and leave. She will not be getting the feedback that she is looking for. It's much more difficult in public. But basically you need to carry on as if she isn't doing the tantrum. When she realizes that she isn't getting any attention from the tantrums you can make sure that she is getting attention when she behaves in a more positive manor.  |
Date: 9/24/2009 11:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 61966
Sometimes kids go through the whole throwing tantrums stage. Let her throw a fit, and don't give her what she wants. Eventually she will see that screaming and crying won't get her what she wants.  |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Thank you guys so much for your help. I also met with her guidance counselor (thank you Larry for the correct spelling) and principal this morning. Apparently her teachers, the guidance counselor and the principal got together sometime this week and traded notes on her. They apologized for telling me they thought she was bipolar/adhd/everything else under the sun and we all came to the conclusion that she just has some insane sensory issues. Sound is a big one, to the point where I ended up having to teach her the alphabet using sign language, rather than speech. Luckily my husband and I both know sign language so it will be helpful as they think that might help on occasion. Did that make sense? |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
That absolutely makes sense... it's hard to keep your cool when your senses are overwhelmed. Think about trying to read a book in a loud room... just that can be annoying to a person with normal sensory reactions. Now that you know what your dealing with, you'll find ways to channel her frustration. Good luck! I wish I could remember the name of the book that my son's pre-school teacher recommended for us.... it was lifesaving (or at least sanity saving... LOL) If I think of it, I'll let you know.  |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
It was pretty easy to find on Amazon. The title is "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz (I'd include a link, but it's really long and will mess up the page width) It looks like she's got a whole series out now |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:37:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Thank you so much!!!! This is gonna be a new thing for me. I've nannied for autistic children, bipolar children, etc., but I've never cared for a child who only had sensory issues. I'm assuming it's not a huge deal and she will grow out of it right? |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:51:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Uh... am I reading this right? The sensory issue is in the autism spectrum? |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
It's considered to be only a small part of what makes an autistic kid autistic... but yeah, I guess it is part of the spectrum.... the high functioning end of it if that's all your dealing with. The more you work with building her sensory defenses, the more likely she will be to out grow it. |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:56:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Whew. I kept reading autism, and I was like NO WAY. She is too alert, too... it just didn't make sense. Good, at least she'll possibly out grow it. Thank you SO much mercury. I'm going nuts lol. |
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Date: 9/24/2009 12:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
And just to put your mind at ease a little bit- we all have sensory defensiveness in some way or another. some of us don't like the texture of certain foods, some of us don't like certain sounds, or the pitch of certain sounds, some of us don't like the feel of grass under our bare feet or tags in our clothing. Some of us are just mildly annoyed by these things, and some of us are distracted to the point of not being able to think about anything else while it's going on. Most of us learn to live with them and/or work around them. |
Date: 9/24/2009 12:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
we commented at the same time... I don't want you to miss the last one - look up one  |
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Date: 9/24/2009 1:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 64723
Yeah, I noticed alot of them applied to me too. But, hey, I function fine... sorta lol. I do have my work cut out for me though, going through the checklist, she seemed to have most of the variations. This is good to know tho. Thanks again! |
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Date: 9/24/2009 3:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
I usually don't say its over leave him. I'm Christian and I do believe in working things out. BUT it took me three marriages to do it. 1st marriage no kids, 2nd I tried for 14 years and it just didn't work, tried for the kids sake, never hang on for the kids sake as it just doesn't help the kids. BUT I do know about kids with senory issues and such. One of my grandsons is bi. polar and the other grandson has asbergs or something like that you will have to ask his mama buffy771 as she has it too. Plus my daughter sue when she was little the doctor said her brain was going faster then the things around her. It wasn't so much her being hyper, as she was, but she would get confused easy and start to cry and be moody. The thing that helped her was coffee with two packs of sweet and low in because we tried the pills and those just made things worse. The coffee works to slow down the brain on a child that is hyper or has a issue like yours and once her brain was slowed down she was so much better as far as being able to watch something besides cartoons *cartoons as they were fast paced and she could figure them out* Had to do the same with my son demonslayer. Its not a huge deal and yes most of them do grow out of it. Keep us informed hon. |
Date: 9/25/2009 9:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 8024
we are all crazy @ times ..do what you gotta.. be yourself ..do what's right for you and yours..have confidence that you can change ..things can be different starting with you ... c  |
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