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Date: 1/30/2009 6:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 51876
It's the attemtion, he is testing his power over you.Looks effective. Ignore him that is how you handle that.  |
Date: 1/30/2009 6:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
Hm.. try some positive reinforcement. Instead of punishing the bad, ignore it. When he says "I don't want breakfast!!" Take his dish away and wash it, but don't give him anything else. When he says he doesn't want to go to school, repeat, "It's time to go to school" and bring him on in. But when he does something well or acceptable or nice, praise it like crazy! When he finishes his breakfast and gets dressed for school, tell him you are really proud of how he is being so great that day and you would like to make anything he wants for dessert that night. Stuff like that. If he realizes good behavior gets an award (even if it's just undivided attention from mom and dad), he'll realize that interaction is much better than being punished.  |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
B is right- he wants that attention.. make him earn it by doing good things, don't give it to him when he does bad things. |
Date: 1/30/2009 6:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
He gets punished even though it seems it doesn't work. And BELIEVE ME he never sees my true feelings about his behavior. That is reserved on how eavil I look while smoking my last cigs forever. Cause God knows I'll need all the strength I can get in 3 weeks when we quit smoking.  |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 51876
Oh Lord. |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
Well, the positive refinforcement don't do squat either. For instance....time for bed, gotta take the swaet shirt off right? Well, child has elepant head syndrome. It's HUGE. So you have to do it ever so carefully and quickly as to not pull off his ears or nose. So This actually was EASY tonight just came off so nice and smoothly. What does he do? Hits me. Rares back and hits my leg. Yup, quick swat on the butt and off to bed he went. NOT gonna put up with that EVER. Makes me wonder what the h.e. double hockeysticks he's learning in school for real......... He never acted like this before school. |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:18:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
literally, NEVER before literally, about his 4th week, this was Austin. BEFORE Nathan was born even. |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
Oh yeah and hitting I won't ignore B. Love ya but nope, that deserves something I'm not fond of and hardly EVER do, a swat on the butt is the most severe of punishments to him and send him crumbling apart knowing he WAY WAY WAY crossed the line. |
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Date: 1/30/2009 6:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
THANK YOU ao. I'll try that for sure. |
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Date: 1/30/2009 7:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 10657
I think he is just pushing his boundaries to see what he will and will not be able to get away with. Plus, in his mind I'm sure to him that because Nathan does require more attention that Nathan is stealing his attention. You need to validate the way he may be feeling and treat him to something special. Don't give into him either. Children while, we think they are fine and accepting of a new sibling that is not always the case. I'm sure Austin does get the same amount of attention however, do something with him that only Austin can do and Nathan can't do. Take Austin out to the playground if, feasible find a sitter for Nathan and take Austin out by himself. I'm not a perfect parent or Dr. Spock (  ) but I will say to me it sounds like he is acting out and he may not be as accepting as appearances seem  |
Date: 1/30/2009 7:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 64197
You say he never acted this way before school, maybe something is going on there that is upsetting him...maybe someone is picking on him and this is his way of reacting to it and the reason he doesn't want to go to school, maybe you should pick a moment over the weekend when he is calm and talk to him about school and see if he tells you anything. It is worth a try, usually when a child tells you they don't want to go to a certain place that they once felt comfortable with there is a very good reason why.  |
Date: 1/30/2009 7:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 26303
He is probably worried about his little brother. Have you explained what is going on with Nathan to him? Kids pick up on our worries, and that might be what is happening to him. Being at school means he may miss out on some development. Or maybe he is very frightened of what might happen to Nathan. Who knows what is going thru is little head? I would maybe take him in a room by himself, start playing a game. Then start talking to him, tell him your worries, not all of course, but show him that you are able to talk openly. Then he will probably open up a bit. Boys are like this in my experience and those of friends. Try it. Good luck!  |
Date: 1/30/2009 9:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 3835
He needs a dose of Grandma this weekend   |
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Date: 1/30/2009 9:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
Grandma will fix him lol....yes once they start school, they come out with all sorts of behaviour, plus the fact of Nathan being the latest edition to the family. Austin now realizes he is not the only child who used to get all the attention. They all go through the different stages and I notice one of my great nephews has turned into quite a little fiend and before starting school this year you wouldn't think butter would melt in his mouth he was such a little angel....I told his mother to check behind his ear to see if there were three 6's tattooed behind it LOL He needs to know that you will not tolerate his naughty ways, and especially hitting and kicking you, which I know you don't tolerate, but it's equally important to praise him and make a fuss about him also. Bad behaviour is a call for attention, it's getting your attention whatever way you look at it. Young and all as they are, they play mind games with the people in authority rolls LOL, little imps aren't they? You got to love them eventhough you feel like choking them sometimes LOL!!! I know we raised 3 of our own and helped raise our grandkids...we know only too well what they are capable of lol!!! good luck Kenz, wait till he is in 1st grade..  |
Date: 1/30/2009 9:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 64123
I think the most important part of finding something that works is choosing a course of action and staying the course. Behaviors don't change overnight and it's important to stay as consistant as possible. In our frustration its easy to jump around to different forms of dealing with the behavior when we don't see fast enough results but those results will never come about without a steady and firm focus. I think Zema is also quite correct in that there's been a large adjusted with not only a new little brother, but a little brother that has gleamed so much attention because of the medical issues. My advice is choose one way in which you're going to deal with the behavior and whichever it is make sure EVERYBODY is aware and on board so it consistent and make sure you make one on one time with him so he's also having his needs meant attention-wise.  |
Date: 1/30/2009 10:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 820
I have a 3 year old who reminds me a lot of your 5 year old. It makes for some very long, very stressful days.. the advice above is good advice. Pick a method, be consistent. I can't really give much more advice than that because I'm about as lost and as frustrated as you are. A stiff long island tea usually helps me out every now and then.. hehe.  |
Date: 1/31/2009 7:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 48809
PNK, kids can make us nutty sometimes . I agree with the rest of the people here on the advice they gave you. I might add something here that someone told me her mother did to her when she acted the way your little boy is doing.She said her mother never hit her or slapped her...when she misbehaved her mother told her to stop and if she didn't stop.... her mother would grab her by the shoulder lightly and then squeeze down until she did stop. I think I would try this to see how it works for you.  |
Date: 1/31/2009 7:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 46527
Send him to Grandma...grandma's have a certain way.....  |
Date: 1/31/2009 8:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 26573
Did you ever ask him? When he is in a good mood? Maybe you guys can work this out together - I know he is 5 but he knows whats going on. Tell him your feelings when "bad" things happen and ask him what his are - what is HE feeling inside when a "mood" comes up. Could it be the med's? or lack of? Hang in there Mom!!  |
Date: 1/31/2009 12:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 21203
Ok Mac...the last comment was from me not HockeyMan....illy  |
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Date: 2/1/2009 9:09:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 29532
Thanks guys! |
Date: 2/3/2009 12:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 16671
Maybe a good old fashion spanking?  |
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