An update on my life for those who want to know. ~Rika~

I've really been trying to keep in good spirits, but- I'm sorry to say- it's getting harder and harder to do so.

 As some of you are aware, I was in a car accident in October. There is a very dangerous turn right before entering the parking lot at my former job. It is a road, but since it's considered "part of the parking lot," there are no speed limit signs letting drivers know. Stupid drivers sometimes speed up to 40 mph in this zone and as you know, most parking lots are 15 mph zones at best. Highly unsafe. An oncoming driver in the other lane stopped and waved us on to make the left turn. What Cameron didn't know was that behind the courteous driver was a very arrogant driver who, frustrated that she had stopped to let someone pass and not wanting to slow down, quickly swerved into the lane beside her while we were turning, barreling into us at what felt like at least 35 miles per hour. This man was obviously under the influence of something.. and his reckless driving could have really hurt his girlfriend or their tiny baby in a car seat in the back. What angers me even more is that his car sustained very minimal front-end damage leaving it perfectly drivable while ours was totaled. Not only did I suffer a concussion and whiplash from this experience, but Cameron and I lost our car.

The insurance company wouldn't cover our damages; according to them, it was Cameron's fault for making a left turn. They did assure him that my medical bills were taken care of. However, the mechanic basically told us that it would cost more to fix the car than we originally paid for it, so we were out of luck.  Meanwhile, we were worrying about what we were going to do about work. There is no way we could have walked to work, gotten a ride from someone else, or even bussed.. because it's in a completely different state. Here's a map of our route to work via Route 22 from Phillipsburg, NJ to Whitehall, PA.

As you can see, our options were very limited and after exhausting all of them, we were forced to quit our jobs.  It is extremely unfortunate, because I LOVED my job.. and also unfortunate, because we are dirt poor.

Phillipsburg is a very small town.. it may look commercial, but that's just because it's based off the interstate and if you take a closer look, you will realize that most of the stores on the interstate are family-owned gas stations and tiny auto supply places anyway.  We literally applied EVERYWHERE we possibly could in the past month and we haven't even gotten ONE call back.. neither of us.  We've walked so far that our legs felt like collapsing- no lie- just to apply to places who aren't interested in the first place.  The population is far too low for anywhere to be hiring and the recession just makes it worse.  A bowling alley I applied to told me that they're actually cutting hours in half because of lack of business.

A little while ago, I recieved a check from Progressive in the amount of $700.  This was to cover my "out-of-pocket expenses" caused by the accident.  I thought that was awesome and I was very relieved- but after paying rent for November, utilities for November, buying food, and taking care of a few things with my dog, I was back to square one.  We're running out of food now and we have absolutely no money.  We're both looking forward to Thanksgiving at my dad's house so we can eat normally for the first time in over a month.  I've lost 10 pounds.  And trust me.. that's okay, but the last thing Cameron needs is to lose weight, lol.  I've been trying to sacrifice eating to save more food for him.  I'm motherly that way. =/

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into a pity-party, but it's difficult to avoid complaining when you're in such a bad spot.  I'm just really stressed out is all.  I never see my family.. never see my friends.. and I'm tired of being shut up in the house, unemployed, bored..

Cameron has apparently been feeling the same way, because he called his mom and arranged it that if we don't have jobs in a week, she's going to pay for me and him to pack up and move to Omaha, NE, where she lives.  There are many pros to this- bigger city= way more job opps; the community college is HUGE and has an extensive array of programs [my #1 long term goal at this point in life is a degree];we will have a more active social life- my close friends here all have children and have very little time for "hanging out" whereas Cameron's close friends are still living the "party life"; there are more choices of things to do; and the cost of living is significantly less expensive.  On the other hand, we really like our roommate here; she has two dogs who Bailey ADORES and we'd hate to take her playmates away; I'd be leaving my family behind again.. so close to the holidays and I've never had a Christmas without them; we wouldn't have an apartment right away- we'd have to live in Cameron's mom's house for a while and she doesn't have an extra room- plus Cameron has 5 little siblings; furthermore, we just don't really care to move again.  We've moved too much as it is.. we'd like the stability of living in one place for more than 6 or 7 months.

I'm still trying to stay positive, telling myself that I'm sure we'll find jobs.. and that if we don't, we'll move to Omaha and that will be great, too.  I tell myself that a lot of people have it worse and that this recession is affecting many people very negatively.  Cameron does not share my habit of squinting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  He refuses to believe there is a light and makes sure to mention its nonexistance several times a day.  That's his own deal, but it's discouraging nevertheless.  Hopefully, some good will come out of this or we'll take something away from it.  Until then, could you keep me in your thoughts?  I could use some good vibes right now.  =)

 Sorry to bore you with this long post, haha.

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