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I am usually much more positive..but prayers are needed please~Cblossom~

  Author:  20296  Category:(USM Events) Created:(6/3/2008 7:18:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (999 times)

warning: dont read if you are expecting rainbows and candyland from me.

I am literally at my wit's end. If I told you all what has been going on in my life the past few months, you would think I am making it up. I am feeling like someone has put some hex on me. happiness and peace is hard to find. things keep happening to bring me down futher in the pit of despair.

tomorrow our electricity and gas will be turned off. there is nothing I can do except keep it on by not paying rent for a month which will ultimately get us evicted because we have been late before. if we come up with the 604 needed today....which we will probably use our rent money, next payday we will have to pay again (which is too soon if we use the rent money this week). we are holding out for the stimulus check but my fiance doesnt get his until the 19 of july:(

I cant get a job because my wallet was stolen with my cali drivers license and ss card. lol...i told you it is nuts! I lost my prior job because I was physically threatened by 'management' who was on drugs and a freak. I went to the hospital to be turned away because I am not fitting the criteria (the place was to help me cope). I am soooooooooooooo not coping. my 'mother' who adopted me at age 30 after my father died has made it impossible to get my birthcerticate and hasnt been able to 'find' my adoption papers causing me to be unable to obtain proper identification.

I worry about my daughter and how this is all affecting her. I think I might let her live in cali with her father (which believe me is not a good thing) because I cant seem to get it together.

people have died this year and the ones that are alive in my family just dont care.

bills, bills, bills, and no sun.

I am asking that you pray for me. I am not a suicidal person...but seriously....i am not doing well. I am crying at this post....and sickened by who I am.

Anyways...please, please...pray hard. for whatever god thinks he needs from me or for me to happen.

If I am not on tomorrow....or next week. or the week after....please continue praying. I dont ask for help usually.....but I need it big time now for more then reasons stated above. I need peace.....

thank you usm!

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .







 
Replies:      
Date: 6/3/2008 7:39:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    The eight people that read this and have not responded, I hope you will at least say a prayer for me. no need to respond...this is not a guilt trip, lol. i just need the prayers seriously!  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:01:00 AM  From Authorid: 62100    My thoughts are with you..I hope that things get better for you soon.  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:02:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    thanks kyla!  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:08:00 AM  From Authorid: 15228    Wow, sounds really tough. Is there a place that will loan you the money on the basis that you'll sign over the stimulis check as soon as you get it or something along those lines??? I send out my best wishes..and prayers that everything will work out for you.  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:11:00 AM  From Authorid: 64414    Aww, sweetie, I sure hope things get better for you hun. You will be in my prayers. (((luv n hugs)))  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:17:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    Thanks guys. kelly...no, I have no id:P I dont know if chad can get that or not. our problem is it is tomorrow and he is at work.  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 8555    You will definitely be in my prayers, I was having money problems...awhile ago my gas and electricity and phone got cut off. Cold showers and using my phone as an alarm clock. I hope things get better for you!  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 15677    oh hunny hugs i have been where u are, heres praying that check comes and your info is found.....  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:44:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    this just came to me:

Drop it! Lay it down at my feet

this is not something YOU can defeat.

Drop it! Listen to me

Inside are the answers,

you soon will see.

Drop it! Believe in me

Trust is your issue

that may be.

but in me, if you let go of your fear

I will dry up all those tears.

Drop it! Turn around and make not a sound

Look inside and the peace will be found.

Drop it! It makes no sense

to run from the one who loves you best.

Drop It! Let me take the pieces

and envision you a new creation.
  
Date: 6/3/2008 8:48:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    author only...you made me cry. you helped with your words. and thank you! thank you also to everyone else. I am just going to let go and let foolala (or god to everyone else). i have no choice  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:03:00 AM  From Authorid: 14909    I've been where your at many times before. Things will get better I promise. It may take awhile but have faith. I'm praying for you.  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:13:00 AM  From Authorid: 25390    *hugs CB* I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I know exactly what you are going through. I know it seems that you should just give up right now, but trust me, you will come out of this. I will say many prayers for you hon. I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there. In the mean time, pick yourself up and get to the DMV and the SS office so that you can get temporary cards and apply for a job. *hugs*  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:24:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    thanks c! and odd...i cant get a temp nothing right now because I dont have proof of who I am until my mother send me the adoption papers from cali. but I am going to call somewhere....*crosses fingers* that might hire me and umm....I can find a copy (printed) of my old drivers liscense and stuff to give them.  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:30:00 AM  From Authorid: 48250    I am sorry that You are having such a difficult time-------but it will get better........I know it's hard and I know it's not easy....but You've got to keep the Faith------grit your teeth roll up Your sleeves and say, "I will get through this"-----Honey this is just a passing thing----it might not look like it at the moment but this will pass and it will get better, remember that-----Trust in the Lord---My Prayers are with You and Your family------Take/Care  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:33:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    thank you bluebird. i dont know what is going to happen. I just will let go.....people survive worse then this. but I thank everyone for their prayers.....I truely do. they work wonders. positive thoughts, pink bubbles, and rainbow vibrations....love makes the world go round. sometimes...we just spin to fast  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:38:00 AM  From Authorid: 53558    You are in my thoughts and prayer. I wish you the best of luck..*hugs*..  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:56:00 AM  From Authorid: 28848    Hugs!! Are there any agencies in your area that can help you with the gas and electric, like salvation army or a church mission group? Is there anyway you can contact the adoption agency to get your adoption records? How about your school records and medical records, could you use those in order to get your BC or DL?  
Date: 6/3/2008 9:56:00 AM  From Authorid: 21764    you will be in my thoughts and prayers sweetie. *huge hugs*  
Date: 6/3/2008 10:23:00 AM  From Authorid: 21903    You really are having a rough go at life right now. I definately want to send some prayers your way because I think it is taking an incredible amount of strenght to get through every day at this point; I know I couldn't be as strong as you are being right now, so just keep your head up and keep pushing through it all. God willing, things turn around VEEEEEERY soon for you. We love you so much and will ALL be praying for you, no doubt. *hugs*  
Date: 6/3/2008 10:58:00 AM  From Authorid: 63962    I am SO sorry that life is throwing you such a curveball right now! I've been through those times where it seems like it's just one thing after another, and watched friends go through that as well. I will definitely pray for you! I hope you find some kind of solution! Hang in there.  
Date: 6/3/2008 12:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 14314    You are in my prayers ((((HUGS)))) God Bless  
Date: 6/3/2008 12:48:00 PM  From Authorid: 58078    If you have a child in the house they can't turn off the gas and electric. Have you called them and tried to work out a paymentn plan?  
Date: 6/3/2008 1:11:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    yes guys...I have told them I have a child....they dont care. unless i havea dr note it will be shut off. we might have to use our rent but then we will have another 300 payment next payday and that leaves rent out again. I have called everywhere. they are all out of money. lol..one place used it all up two days ago. I will be fine. just pray for ME! me......me needs the prayers. and they work. I appreciate all the concern about how to fix my situation but I cant. I have given it up to a higher power. we shall see....1. if I can leave it there or 2. if I leave it there, what happens:P  
Date: 6/3/2008 1:11:00 PM  From Authorid: 10245    you're usually only protected from shut off during the winter months and regulations change from state to state.  
Date: 6/3/2008 1:13:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 20296    mercury is right. we had til april to not be shut off this winter. I moved out and came back to the electric being this high. now we are in a hole. I had medical issues that made it impossible..or I might say unimportant to me to remedy this one issue that is now biting me in the butt.  
Date: 6/3/2008 1:51:00 PM  From Authorid: 63011    I'm so sorry about all this. You are in my prayers.  
Date: 6/3/2008 1:58:00 PM  From Authorid: 64498    I am praying for you verrrrrrrrrrry hard. My heart is with you   

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