Date: 5/22/2008 4:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 19871
Loud people get heard, quiet people, when they speak, are listened to most of the time. I would suggest this though, learn more about yourself and be surer of yourself and be comfortable with it. I have some quiet friends who do not come off as submissive because folks can't bully them as they know where they stand, but they aren't assertive either. They are very sure of themselves, but they don't want to speak up to cause problems. I'm not sure if my advice will help you but I hope it will. Be sure of yourself, not your options. Options and opinions may change at the blink of an eye but folks generally don't.  |
Date: 5/22/2008 4:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 64365
Sweetie, when a person tells you you need to be more assertive, they usually mean to be more assertive with everyone else, and not them. Some people just like to meddle where they have no business meddling. Just be yourself, and do what's comfortable for you. If your Co-worker insists, give her what she wants. Be assertive with her, even if you do feel like you are being rude, and I guarantee she won't tell you that, again. If she has a problem with it, tell her you were just being assertive.  |
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Date: 5/22/2008 4:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 64365
The best assertive statement I can think of, right now, is: 'I need for you to get you some business, and get out of mine.' It might sound coarse and rude, but if you say it with a smile, and a gentle tone of voice, she'll get the idea, and you won't seem so rude, but you will have made your point. |
Date: 5/22/2008 7:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 28363
You will be faced with many assertive people in your life. Just remember that assertive is just another word for "pushy" maybe even obnoxious. Do you want to be known as pushy or obnoxious? No - You want to be known as even-tempered, courteous, professional and immune to drama with attempts to drag you in. Best wishes for peace and joy always  |
Date: 5/22/2008 8:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 35720
You can still be pleasant to people when you're assertive. I know I am. I'd use this method with your coworker and tell her thanks for the concern, but you're fine with the way you are.  |
Date: 5/22/2008 8:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 63241
I know it's hard when people tell you what you should do or say but in all things you MUST be true to yourself. What bothers those people may not be something that you feel is such a big deal. There will be moments in life when you feel "Wow! I should've said this or that!" but don't beat yourself up over it, learn a lesson from it and consider it past. If everybody were exactly the same we'd be bored out of our minds. Be true to yourself!  |
Date: 5/22/2008 12:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 63011
That's how I used to be at work. But, when things don't improve, and people act like morons, then you start to speak up more. Now, I let people know how I feel, and what I think, and things get done that way. There are times when I still keep quiet, but when I feel something's not right, I'll say something.  |
Date: 5/22/2008 12:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
I think you should just be you, you do not sound comortabble with being more Assertive. But they are right, some situations do need Assertivness. Most don't though   |
Date: 5/22/2008 8:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 14909
I have a question. Why do you have to be assertive at work? Is it a sales job? I'm the same way you are. I hate conflict, if I can get around it I will. Your doing fine just try and be yourself. Your right people say stuff that is impossible to change right away. I'm rambling so just be yourself.  |
Date: 5/25/2008 12:44:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51050
well I've only been in this job since January 08. I work in local Goverment in the Planning Department (Planning Permits etc) and basically this comment stemmed from a lunch meeting where our director asked everyone (except someone who was from another department-and the other admin chick was away) what they thought about a proposed change. I didn't even notice at the time because I was too busy eating free meeting food. Personally I think it was just an omission on the part of my director. However I do try to make myself invisable around him because he has a key part in our downsizing at work and didn't want my position to be made at work.  |
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Date: 5/25/2008 7:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 28363
I remember a job one time where this senior engineer told me and another engineer that we had to be (he did not say more assertive) he actually said 'meaner' when dealing with lower support centers because it made them think twice about escalating dumb stuff afterhours. i tried what he said and it back-fired. I think the best advice is to listen to your heart and act accordingly. |
