Date: 5/20/2008 5:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 30747
Some moms just aren't capable of having that kind of relationship with their children. My mom is like that with me too. It could be insecurity that they will say the wrong thing or maybe it's an inconvinience to their ideal world. Maybe it's even guilt that they feel they did something wrong in raising you. I'm sure your mom cares but feels helpless is how to advice you or what to say so she denies the problems hoping they will go away. Don't beat yourself up over it. Except her for what she is and maybe find another loving older woman confidant like maybe an aunt but don't change your relationship with your mother. Odds are she'll see you turning to someone else for emotional support and make more of an effort and it will heal your relationship. Be patient and respectful above all else to your mom. Now if I could only follow my own advice, I'ld be okay.   |
Date: 5/20/2008 5:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
I was suicidaul at the age of 16 to 18 and my mum had not clue how to deal with me. So I know how you feel.  just don't take he stuff she says to heart.  |
|
Date: 5/20/2008 5:55:00 PM ( Admin )
What if she fights depression also and being round someone that is depressed or complaining is hard on her for personal reasons. I know it's hard to not have someone to vent to, sometimes is harder on the other person that is trying to help someone that is venting. |
Date: 5/20/2008 7:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 21903
Wow, that seems REALLY hard to have to deal with. I think I'd be lost if I couldn't take my problems to my mother...even if I knwo what she says will make me mad or even if she doesn't say anything, at least she listens. I know its not as great, but you can always come to us here until you get this all figured out. Have you ever approached your mother with this situation? I really wish I knew some way to fix this for you, it really does seem difficult. Good luck hon!  |
Date: 5/20/2008 7:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 12341
Danielle, I wish I had an easy answer. When my Mom was here, so many times I would call her and sometimes I knew that even before we talked, I wouldn't get answer or the response I hoped for, but she was Mom, and it helped me to just have her to talk to. Now that she's gone, I miss that, I always knew my Mom suffered from being depressed and her life was very hard and difficult, so she tried to help me, but sometimes I had to figure it out myself, even after I talked to her. I valued her imput, I longed for it, and I needed it, but I always knew that I had to also figure things out for myself because as much as I loved Mom, we did have those different ideals and opinions. I miss her, her imput, but try talking to her as a friend, she is your Mother, and always will be close to you, but also follow your heart and believe in yourself and what makes sense to you.  |
Date: 5/20/2008 8:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
My mom is the same exact way.  |
Date: 5/20/2008 8:51:00 PM
From Authorid: 14909
Your mom just doesn't have the answers that your looking for. So in turn she just tells you to get over it. As for when you try to tell her that you have a problem with her. She takes it as an attack on her parenting skills. You will get nothing but static by trying to discuss your problem with her.  |
Date: 5/21/2008 9:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 14754
do you have an aunt or good friend you can talk to?..I sure like what Admin said, it makes sense..iam so sorry you are going thru this.  |
Date: 5/21/2008 3:28:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 16376
Thanks for the replies. I don't have any Aunts that I can talk to about this, as both of my Aunt's despise my entire family. LOL, just another problem in that situation. I know my mother has been depressed about my grandmother's death from last year, but this has been going on since my pre-teens. I wish I knew why she was always like this. I do love her, I just wish we could have normal mother and daughter conversations.  |
Date: 5/23/2008 8:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 12103
Sometimes you cant talk to your mom about everything....and that's okay. Thats why god let us have realitives and friends..  |
