Date: 5/20/2008 3:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 10245
I started out thinking I wanted a ton of kids... 10 sounded good, but I'd settle for 6. At some point I realized that raising kids costs A LOT of money and required even more patience, so that figure changed to ONE.... and came with the thought that one is probably all I could handle, anyway. Then I went through some painful experiences with the opposite sex and decided that I would NEVER marry or have children. The cost was too high (not in the financial way, but in the emotional way) and I didn't have the resources to carry me through. Eventually, I switched my thinking back to having one. A little later on, I met my husband... still convinced I would never get married. 6 months later, I was hitched... but children weren't in the discussion yet. After almost 7 years of marriage and no appearance of children, I assumed it wasn't going to happen. Just as I made that assumption appear to be fact in my brain, I found myself vomiting one morning while brushing my teeth.... my first indicator of the impending arrival of my daughter. 3.5 years later, I had a total of 3 children and knew I was done reproducing. We never "tried" to have children. We decided to let nature take it's course and if it happened, great! If it didn't, that was okay, too. I changed my mind many times... it's okay to not have everything planned and let life hand you what it will. Sometimes it hands you things you didn't even know you wanted.  |
Date: 5/20/2008 3:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 63026
Lol I wanted 7 kids, but I'll settle for 3-4. Working in a daycare has greatly improved my knowledge on every subject to formula, to recognizing every childhood illness, and patience with kids.  |
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Date: 5/20/2008 3:57:00 AM ( Chatmin-PB )
My girls were planned. Right down to the exactly 3 1/2 years apart. |
Date: 5/20/2008 4:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 62849
Well, I always swore I would be 30 before I got married. I said, "I have too much living to do to be tied down." When you say that at 19, 20 years old, you forget that 10 years is a long time. Anyway, I met the right guy and things just fell into place- financially, emotionally, etc. As for kids- we're figuring that out. Timing is big but neither of us can figure out when the best time is. Now? A few years? Should I establish a career and wait 5/6 years? But he's 34. Should we go now and have me establish a career after the kids are born? Can we live comfortably if I don't work for awhile? Are our cars safe enough and big enough to drive kids around in? Will we be able to sell our house for a decent price when we need more room? It's such a crapshoot- I don't think there's ever a "right" time.  |
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Date: 5/20/2008 5:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 10245
oh yeah... that was another thing. I thought I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 25. I didn't have my first until I was 30, so plans changed in that way, too. |
Date: 5/20/2008 5:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 57995
I always wanted to get married and have kids. I wanted 2 maybe 3 kids. A boy first then a girl and the third didn't matter. Well I was wanting a baby so bad once I turned 20. I got pregnant with my dd at 21 and had her at 22. Then a year later, 3 months after her birthday I find out I am pregnant again. This time I wasn't ready. I wanted to wait until she was 3 before trying again. My son was born 2 weeks before her second birthday. I stopped there. I am having no more. I had my tubes tied. I have horrible morning sickness almost the whole time with both. It stopped at 6 months with my daughter. With my son it was the whole pregnancy, mostly just nausea. I didn't gain much weight with either of them because of it. I did not want to experience that again. Also I got PPD after having my son.  |
Date: 5/20/2008 8:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 21764
I used to think I didn't want kids at all.. but now that I'm getting married I'm thinking it might be ok in about 10 years.. I also would like to adopt   |
Date: 5/20/2008 10:07:00 AM
From Authorid: 62100
I was raised the oldest of 5 kids and my parents split when I was 14 almost 15..I got *stuck* being the one in charge all the time as after my dad moved out my mom went through a "crazy" phase and was *ahem* doing her own thing much of the time..so big sister had to play *mommy*..I had to get the others up, feed them breakfast each day, be sure they got bathed and ready for school..which was soo much fun, especially with my brother..I literally had to drag him to the bus stop at times..my parents couldn't be in the same room without fighting which made the times Dad came to visit us kids a joyous time as you can imagine...and God forbid if we wanted to go with him especially after he moved in with our then stepmom (who passed away in '01)..we were *betraying* Mom and believe me..we heard about it...at any rate..I decided at 15 that I wanted nothing to do with kids or a husband..I didn't EVER want to be in a situation like the one my parents had created and do that to kids..plus after spending day after day being responsible for my 4 siblings I decided I had already had enough of kids...then I got pregnant with Kels when I was 18 and in college, when I first suspected it I was so mad at myself..I didn't even like kids and had no idea what I would even begin to do with one..abortion wasn't an option..well..once I had her and held her for the first time and looked into that face..yep..all of those negative feelings seriously just went away, and I never looked back..I still didn't want marriage though..I still believed that they all ended up that way..it took me until I got proposed to by my fiance this past February to really believe that marriage could actually be something that will work out for me..I guess it just took finding the right guy and being ready..I had to go through some terrible stuff to get here, I sacrificed and lost alot along the way..but here I am..  |
Date: 5/20/2008 11:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 57079
I didn't want kids for the longest time, now I have a great boyfriend for the past 3 years and we are wanting to get married but not for a little while. But I am ready for kids (once we get married), but my bank account and living conditions don't permit, I still live with my parents and there is no way I can even afford an apartment where I live (Orange County, CA). So we are planning on maybe moving to Washington state so we can afford to live. So probably it will start once I'm about 25 (which sounds like a good age for me). And 2 kids sounds good to me. So I have it a bit planned out, but that sounds idyllic to me. (Hopefully I'll be all done with my degree too and be able to buy a house)  |
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Date: 5/20/2008 4:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
Ahh, and the other comments brought up a great point. I've wanted kids since I was a teenager, but I knew I had to wait so I could give them a good life. And, I have the Merc plan going on- I want to be done having kids by the time I'm 30. If we have trouble for whatever reason, I might extend that "deadline" to a little later, but for health risks to the babies, if we don't have any of our own by the time I'm 35, it's adoption for us. Then again, if we don't have any by the time I'm 30, I might consider adoption earlier. |
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Date: 5/20/2008 4:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 62849
Oh, and I want 3. My husband wants 2. We agreed to start with one and see how we feel... LOL. |
Date: 5/20/2008 7:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
I'd like to get married someday, but no children for me unless, like you, they're adopted. It doesn't sit well with me how many people won't adopt because they want the child to "look like them." I could care less, frankly.  |
Date: 5/21/2008 10:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 61966
I've always wanted to be married and have kids..even at 12, I knew that. I didn't think it would ever happen though..I guess I had somewhat a low self esteem. I was always told that you may change your mind as you get older and a lot of people do. I never changed my mind..I still would love to be married and have kids. I have the right person in my life and as much as I want both, I know that right now is the wrong time. I at least need to finish nursing school and once that's over..we'll see.  |
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Date: 5/21/2008 10:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 61966
I would also like to add that, I've been told that I have a condition where I may not be able to have children or at least have complications. After I tried, if it wasn't possible..I would defintely want to adopt. There are tooooo many children without homes and families. Interesting post, Kaja |
15675 Category:(Discussion) Created:(5/20/2008 2:54:00 AM)