This is a bad idea...isnt it?

About a month ago I had a major revelation that changed my life. All of a sudden the depression was gone, my dead end dreams were gone, and I had no goals and things to aspire to in life. I was also FINALLY over him. Him as in this boy I had been madly in love with for 4 years...but do to one thing or another never got. Oh I knew a year or two ago it was time to get over him...but nothing worked. I didnt think I'd EVER be able to no matter what I did...and boom one day Im free! It was very nice I must say :).

I've been celebrating my birthday all week and without boring you with the details I must say it has been incredible. I dont think I could have thought 2 months ago last year I would be doing these things. One of these things was a concert last weekend of a musician I just absolutely adore. And there some troubled brewed. And no for once Im not in love with a musician :p.

It was the night after that strange man in my backyard (see last post) and I was sooo tired as I stayed up all night. When I got to the venue we were held outside an extra 20 minutes and I ended up talking to the people who arrived after me...a good group of 5 or so 'scragglers' (most of us came alone) and we all had a good time. But one kid...one kid threw me off my rocker. He looked JUST like that boy I JUST got over...well a younger version of him but still JUST like him (ironically they are the same age).

Obviously this intrigued me. I ended up talking to him because I just sat there thinking how uncanny it was. And the kid was nice enough in his own merit! We probably talked a half hour alone though after that I kinda lost him (I was busy getting seranaded and what not :p). And we had a lot in common, we live in the same area, knew of the same things, and hated the same things. However anyone who lets me babble on to them for a half hour is usually fascinating...so I dont know if that would wear off or not. He seemed interested...even going as far as to say, "Well forgive me but a hot girl like yourself at least has guys buying her drinks!" (though unfortanitly that is not true...I never get bought drinks :(...)

By the end of the show by a twist of fate we crossed paths but I was leaving and he was in a hurry somewhere else, so I thought I ''escaped'' without having to make a decision one way or another. It bugged me but I decided 'Eh this just was a bad idea anyways' and I let it go. But I put up a picture from that night on my myspace, on that musician's page, figuring maybe he'd stalk me down if he really wanted to. Then I forgot about it again.

Today he found me. He wrote me a nice little note saying he hoped my car hadnt gotten towed (it had been a fear of mine) and to talk to me soon. He would have had to have gone out of his way to find me as Im not even sure I told him my name. He obviously wanted to say hi!

So back to the conundrum. I wrote him a nice little note back but Im not throughly convinced this is the smartest idea...on two points. 1) The obvious: he looks like that guy I was madly in love with...and is that the only reason I even am interested? I really honestly dont know myself...and I worry thats dangerous territory. 2) LOOKS ASIDE (even if this is somehow not unhealthy) finally being freed from said guy I dont know WHAT I want to do relationship wise...

I mean I decided after my trials and tribulations I want a man who is attractive to me, smart, not ghetto, and has had some success of major ambition (I want proof he wont be working at Subway when hes 40 and my baby daddy...) This guy had an okay enough job, and definitly is way better off then most of the losers who hit on me...but at the moment I have my eyes set on something a little higher and more mature. I dont know...sure I hate being single but Im not thoroughly convinced (look things aside) Id be going into this for the right reasons either.

So...what in Gods name should I do? I guess at the least it would be very nice to have a friend, as I havent made many here (I have been a shut in for many months prior). But...as unsure as I am Im not 100% convinced not giving him a chance is the way to go either. What do you think USM? Thanks.

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