what does she mean you ask?
can a person cry while in the rain? I wondered that so many times.many nights I walked....just because it was raining out... I didnt want to cry, but I did....at least I think I did. not sure about it.....I felt heavyness within my chest.....I felt the sighs slips from between my lips....I felt the heat of pain swell up in my eyes... but I didnt feel the pain of them burning down my cheek?
why?
butterflies that once fluttered inside my belly, sank spiritlessly, spiraling down. I felt them plummet through the abyss that grows inside me....nothing tender about it.... they fell harsh against the lining.
that cloud I float upon.....so soft...white....like cotton candy....black, and heavy with with rain.....kind of like the skies above me....weighing down....
sagging with weight.
stupid rain clouds.....
any one person can, could, clearly see the bowels of them tearing effortlessly.... each second is another pound...
so much heavyness.....
so much.....
nobody takes the time to look up really.... until they feel a drop...but they aimlessly ponder about.... just a sprinkle....they think...
nothing big you say....
hardly a second glance to see what is to be spilt....
no butterflies today......
no butterflies today............
sometimes I walk in the rain slow.....others the pace picks up.... either way.......my chest as heavy as the clouds above....
I feel the tears...but at least walking in the rain........I can fool myself into not beleiving they are there....
they creep like glaciers down your cheek
carving a plained landscape....erosion of the flesh,
soon enough time shall make apparent the lines and valleys etched below the brow.....
hardcore pain drawn....carved into ones face, a past filled with mourning, a present of burning, insatiable pain, a future of being lost....a tear lost in the chaos of the rain.
only the coolness of heaven sent drops kills the burn of the inivisible scars they leave. at least if I dont feel them....no one could see them....you cant cry in the rain.
you cant....
never cry in the rain......
it almost drowns you to where you cant breathe....they fall as hard as my tears. it pounds, stinging my face and shoulders.....dampens my hair....
I can walk shamelessly with my head held low...most would think it to be avoidence of the downpour....no questions....why so weighted with the chin....no one to glare at me whit a whisper of false concern....chin up they'd say.....chin up....kiss my, well i cant say that here.... I want to scream....go away....or even just tell them all off...
they always want to hug you....as if you want their wretched arms slung around you....they stand mere inches from your face, spitting their foul breath and words at you...oh you can tell me whatever is bothersome to you....you can trust me....I am your friend....that silly "f" word friend... stupid word they pummel onto you....keep your foul breathed words off me.....purse your lips a little tighter....because it is fecal to me....
at least in the rain........no one dares to approach you....they fear getting wet....
tears are alot like rain....maybe thats why I toil listless about in it.....no one cares to wipe rain away from your face....not a soul will venture out into it with you....I may not fear being soaked....but thankfully most others do....few are brave enough to walk with me. fewer are strong enough to wipe it away......
sure I shed my own....yes I weakly swipe them away....but once in a while....it would be nice to have someon....who is not afraid to get wet walk with me.....who disregaurds the sting upon their face and shoulders....who is brave enough to actually fearless enough to maybe once.....
maybe.......
wipe them away for me, and whipser in sweet breath....chin up
softly whispered.... chin up .
it doesnt feel like tears......it doesnt burn.....even though it
hurts as if you are.....I wonder.........can a person cry in the rain
funny.....how a tear drop can be lost in the chaos of many raindrops....how no one notices, or how you can fool yourself into beleiving it is not a tear....because it is lost in the chaos.....just because you cant see it....because you cant feel the burning pain.....does it mean you can not cry....the sting of the rain sometimes makes you numb....from the inside....you ignore the pain festering within because of the pain from out.....all that rain pounding into your face, you forget? or ignore? rain slicing down your face makes it harder to see to feel, easier to forget? easier to ignore.....
does a person truely....cry in the rain?
or does it appear one cant....for the tear being lost in the chaos of many.
I cant.....at least it doesnt feel like it anyway
(and if there is no rain to be had.....take a cold shower)
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