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Meeting people?

  Author:  15675  Category:(General Advice) Created:(11/10/2007 12:14:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1462 times)

Ugh. I can recall 3 years ago when I asked this very question. The overall advice was get your booty out of the house; but that is no longer the problem.

I just moved to a new state. Its definitly for the better because my true friends came out of the woodwork in the end. Unfortanitly even where I was they were not close: one lived 4 hours away and the other one lived several states away. Sadly now both are on another coast.

I met one at a rock show; the other at a job interview (ironically neither of us got the job LOL!) Whether Im employed or not (and for the record I've been employed through most of this year) it makes no difference: I make it a priority to get out.

Of course getting out for me means going to a cafe and reading or writing, walking around some cool area, going to local music shows, and BOOK STORES. Oh I love book stores. I also like going to music stores. Id say I do both at least once a week if not a few times a week (mainly cuz traffic and urge to spend money make me not go daily :p).

However so far this has netted me no one in either state. I think its because Im not making any form of a connection with people. Im talking both friend wise and romantically. I've made a point to say Im new in town mainly because it explains why I look like such a dang tourist (this whole parking garage thing confuses me). But I think Im constantly missing oppurtunities.

A perfect example is last night I went to a really huge bookstore and was surprised to find two very cute men as the cashiers. And in a stroke of luck the one I got who resembled Valentino (wow) and was nice was from my state as well. I just thought it was a nice break from the teduim of life and went on my way. When I told my friends about it they gave me almighty heck as to why I didnt even TRY to get his number. It had honestly not dawned on me.

So Im obviously doing something wrong. What can I do to meet new people? Outside of the obvious 'getting out' there? Thanks!

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Replies:      
Date: 11/10/2007 2:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 26303    I wouldn't have got his number either. Apart from the chit chat you've just had, you don't know him. But, I would, however, keep going back to that bookstore. And there, I would chat to the guy. Probably a bit more each time. Get to know one another through small talk first. But, hey, that's me. What would I know, I've been married forever. LOL  
Date: 11/10/2007 3:02:00 AM  From Authorid: 61847    I agree with Aussie Girl. I wouldn't have thought to get his number either. I don't think you are broken or anything like that. You seem to be doing everything right as far as I'm concerned. Do you have any friends from work? Sometimes going out with them once or twice a week is helpful. That way you'll meet some other people in your state that you can call when you need to.  
Date: 11/10/2007 7:32:00 AM  From Authorid: 26203    Very Good Advice you have here already, so I really can't add more to it, expect buying more books..lol sorry hugs and good luck  
Date: 11/10/2007 12:54:00 PM  From Authorid: 10657    There are several things I would suggest Obviously the places you go why don't you see if, they have a bookreading night or something or a booksigning. Depending on what type of music you like why don't you see if, they have an amatuer night or something you can find lots of nice guys there. Since you are new in the area now a days, a lot of cities and even towns have a singles night out you might want to see about that too  
Date: 11/10/2007 1:45:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 15675    Well I kinda see their point as in this bookstore was the size of an average Super Wal Mart (dont know what is the equivlant in Australia ) and given retail standards lord knows if he'll still work there. But good to know I wasnt 'not' forward.

The only problem with music shows is I have learned through time I NEVER get the men I want at them. New town maybe new chances but Im jaded. Also its always a bit of a 'business' thing for me; alone at shows I never have fun. But maybe I'll try next week. Thanks guys!
  
Date: 11/10/2007 4:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 26303    Kaja, I thought the bookstore was a small place, sorry. That's always my image of bookstores. I guess we have a few biggies in the city, but not that big. But who knows, he could be still there. You never know. You will find someone. But what will be more than likely to happen, is someone will find you!  
Date: 11/10/2007 5:52:00 PM  From Authorid: 63743    We are in the same boat! If you find the asnwer please pass it alone! I still havent figure out what I am doing wrong!  
Date: 11/11/2007 9:18:00 AM  From Authorid: 37101    You want to meet new people without "getting out there?" Good luck with that one. Meeting new people requires a certain element of spontaneity and courage. It's adrenaline rush. Dive off the cliff. You might crash ... but then again, you might fly. -  
Date: 11/11/2007 10:08:00 AM  From Authorid: 62849    To be honest, I really couldn't tell you. I never really had a problem meeting anyone. Be forward with people you want to meet, and if you want to be successful, go for people who are on the same level of attractiveness as you (psychologically, people tend to stick with people who are similar to them, and I can't remember what it is called). Anyway, if you are a 7, go for other 7's. Make sense? It works.  
Date: 11/11/2007 3:53:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 15675    No Silent Civilian I said OTHER then that advice (i.e. its a given) what can be done. Thanks guys! LOL Beags Im gonna have a bunch of 40 year old friends soon then...  
Date: 11/13/2007 7:25:00 PM  From Authorid: 62146    Well I just normaly just don't think and do it. Then again I am involved with a church of thosands and with long time friends who introduce me to their freinds, from college, work or elsewhere.  
Date: 11/14/2007 6:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 62849    LOL you look like a 40-year-old? I mean looks-wise. Not personality-wise. People stick with others who are on the same level of attraction as they are.  

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