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Overcoming fear?

  Author:  15675  Category:(General Advice) Created:(10/30/2007 2:30:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1188 times)

I have a horrible fear or failing going on right now. Its insanely stupid and Im well aware of it...but Im not sure how to overcome it.

I want to be a musician. For the longest time I exercised and practiced vocally to make this be. I never 'failed' so to speak but I was unable to get the things together that was necessary to be a performing musician (mainly a guitarist or a full band and I was unable to play my own music). After that depression set in and no matter WHAT I did I couldnt find the motivation. My whole life at that point was 'why bother'.

Now Im fat again, I havent recorded a song in over a year, and I've gone to MAJOR steps to ensure I find some motivation and success yet...I cant. At least motivation wise (funnily enough I've had 3 or so offers to do things that due to not getting my crap together I couldnt do.)

I fear being in a rut which Im obviously in. I fear not being able to get out of it. I fear I will never become anything. I fear if I try again I will not make my one simple goal (to perform and record; just for my own satisfaction at the least) which if I HAD the material and the will I COULD do (I have a studio downstairs; those other offers were performing ones).

This fear is stupid. I've gone to great lengths to AVOID practicing and exercising. Im a big fan of the business side of music and thats where *for me* I've put and am again putting my attention. The web designer, logo maker, documentary maker, and guitarists have all been mailed and in touch. I've got plans...but without music and being in shape nothing will come of them.

I HATE playing the piano...and I HATE learning the guitar. I've done both for several years and barely gotten anywhere (I dont know how to work guitar; I can play piano but not satisfactorily). If I WORKED at it Id be fine...but 'I dont want to'. In a selfish way I just want a good producer or guitarist to write music for me...but that wont happen (I have very PARTICULAR ideas and goals).

So...how do I fix this? It's been a month since I vowed to change and I've only practiced once; and have yet to exercise. Every day this week I can say I've truely thought 'I should/will practice...' but as in today before I know it its 1am and too late or something else comes up. HOW can I motivate myself? Thanks!

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Replies:      
Date: 10/30/2007 3:35:00 AM  From Authorid: 26303    You are on the way to doing it, in my opinion. You've talked about it to yourself, eventually it will all fall into place. Lots of people write the music and have lyricists to put the words to it. Have you tried googling musicians? I would give it a try. Good luck.  
Date: 10/30/2007 7:32:00 AM  From Authorid: 26203    How badly do you really want it..See yourself becoming a success, look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself..YOU ARE WORTH IT....you are a winner, you can achieve what ever you set your mind too..Believe me at first it may seem strange..give it ago for a few days...I BELIEVE YOU WILL SUCCEED...YOU WERE BORN A WINNER...now believe it!!!!!!!!!  
Date: 10/30/2007 2:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 52489    It sounds to me like your problem is really a fear of failure. This is actually a common problem. Your fear of failure is telling you that you won't make it, so you convince yourself not to practice because it won't make any difference anyway, and then you feel bad because you haven't done anything, and the cycle repeats. To break out of this cycle what you need to do is think of your successes! Remind yourself that other people have told you that you were good. Remember the good times, and tell yourself that success only comes to those who try. You can also get together with other wannabe musicians and start a garage band. Practicing music get easier if you have others alongside you. Great things have happened to people who have practiced their art in garages; that's where Apple Computer got its start, and where Charles Goodyear invented vulcanized rubber!  
Date: 10/30/2007 2:16:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 15675    Thanks guys . My issue with other musicians is none want to do the style I do; so Im having MASSIVE trouble finding one to work with. Im ATTEMPTING it again though (even paid for an ad in the weekly). Thats why its so important I learn to do piano to the point I can perform it (almost there) because if I dont I may never find someone who will.

Thanks guys...I will try
  
Date: 11/5/2007 12:23:00 AM  From Authorid: 62146    Well confidence dose not come easy. But here is the secret; you need to be the one giving yourself the confidence not someone else giving you the confidence. Sure compliments here and there help, but you can not rely on them. You gotta rely on yourself. And thats where it all happens for real.  

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