Reply to "NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION" (Spam) Post

"United States Bill of Non-Rights" or "New Preamble" (Mitchell Kaye) spam many of you might have got in an e-mail which SNOPES http://www.snopes.com/language/document/norights.asp

clearly shows is FALSE:

"The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day..."

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident: That a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

(Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

********************************************************************* Note: some portions of this was incorporated into the "America needs a leader like this post . :D ****************************************************************************

So, ok now, here's my reply to such tripe:

If nobody has a right to be offended, then nobody has a right to object to: * Flag burning * Rewriting the Pledge of Allegiance * Refusing to say that pledge * Most of the content of the "Bill of No Rights", for that matter, including refusal to speak English and rejection of "In God We Trust".

And if nobody has a right to be free from harm, then that means that nobody has a right to a crime-free life -- nobody has a right to be free from being stolen from or beaten up or murdered.



I've seen versions of this without Articles X and XI and with Articles VII and IX bumped up with this one inserted in between:

Quote: "ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat."

ummmm......I wonder if this also applies to George W. Bush's wars?

I think that Article XII in this version could be handled with a generalized FAQ about the origin of the US government:

The Declaration of Independence mentions a God who grants rights and who acts as an ultimate lawgiver -- and only that. The DOI God does not fix political and military contests any more than that entity fixes sports matches.

The Constitution starts off with: Quote: "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Which is far removed from "All we're doing is following God's orders."

The Constitution was criticized in the 19th century for being "godless", which, in fact, it is.

Check out the ORIGINAL version at SNOPES: http://www.snopes.com/language/document/norights.asp

It seems that this email is a edited version of an original libertarian joke... I think that the original is hilarious, but the fact that the plagiarist removed the one he didn't like and then copy-pasted two more from other Christian spam just makes it sad. Very sad, indeed.

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