Date: 8/8/2007 5:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 46527
It's not a replacement of you, it's completely different. Some guys like to look at that kind of thing. Take a look at how huge the industry is, if it were a replacement for a relationship then there would be very few couples left in the world!  |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:15:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
That makes sense LSR, thanks. I just felt hurt by it..am I the only one who is bothered by this type of stuff? If I could I wouldnt let it bother me at all, but I couldnt help the way it made me feel.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 63241
If my husband did this frequently, yes, I'd be upset. But he watches those types of movies (cable) on t.v. about once a week (weekends) or every other week so I leave him alone about it. I've read articles where a person can become addicted to this stuff. I wouldn't come down hard on him unless he's doing this frequently. JMHO.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 46527
A lot of women are initally bothered by this kind of stuff because they think it is INSTEAD of them...it's not. You are quite normal to feel upset. |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 10245
guys are visually aroused... we have our minds to do that for us ;o)  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:24:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks Wood Elf..this is really the first time Ive actually known of him doing this. I didnt really come down on him too hard, I just let him know that I felt hurt/bothered by it. I can see both yours and LSR's point here, thanks for your input. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:26:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
haha Mercury..and thanks again LSR. =] |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
its ok hun, its not a bad thing to look at it. heck i look at it, love it even. kevin looks at other women and i look at other men, its natural. we have this rule, you can look all ya want, but dont touch. heck i even point out other girls to him, lol. i wouldnt let it get to ya sweety. most guys , and some girls, like to look at it, its ok.  im gonna send you my cell # on myspace ok. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{huggs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:40:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Shay..Ive missed talking to you! Thanks so much for your comment, that does make me feel better. Its making me feel better just getting it out there and talking about it. If you keep things to yourself (like I tend to do) they just end up causing you more pain in the end. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:41:00 AM
From Authorid: 63241
LOL Spooks! This reminds me of the saying, "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!" |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
yw sweety, i know its been awhile, sorry about that. im the same way. i always hold everything in, till i burst and heckfire spouts from my mouth like a volcano. thats not good either,lol. its my curse of being irish and german,lol. ok and stubborn too,lol. |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
lol woodelf, i like that , never heard that one.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 40530
It wouldn't bother me. It's a bit silly of him to do it on your computer though. Like LSR said, it's not replacing you or instead of you. It's just different. Do you ever look at other guys and think "Wow, he looks hot!"? You wouldn't dream of acting on it, though. It's like that.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 5:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 1432
Yup that would bug me...  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 5:55:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Its ok Shay Im working a lot now so my internet time has been cut in half LoL. Hopefully we'll be able to catch up soon. Thanks Banner, glad to see Im not the only one. Aine your comment makes sense and it makes me feel a lot better, thanks so much. <3 |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 58308
Yes. It would bother me. I'd probably be thinking the same thoughts you were/are.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 6:06:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks Zeebs its good to know Im not alone. |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 27403
I would not have liked this either! Love and Light  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 40145
well, he shouldn't have lied in the first place. he needs to be honest with you. I told my fiance that if he ever wants to see porn he has to let me know or ask me to tag along lol but the point is I want our relationship to be trustworthy that is why I should be let know or when I am around. but It will bother me if he is looking at porn alone, its the way i am. in fact, he respect my wishes and does what I asked! good luck.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 4995
I SWEAR,sweetie ALL guys look at that stuff at one time or other...it's just *looking*...it doesn't mean you are not attractive enough or that he is missing something...there hasn't been a single man in my life that didnt look at this,er,um,*stuff*. He sounds like it really bothered him that it hurt you. Just lay it on the line he needs to not use YOUR computer for that stuff since it makes you uncomfortable. Hope this helped. *hugz*  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 8817
Honestly, no it wouldn't. I look up my fair share of porn and I have never minded that my boyfriend looked up porn, watched it, or if we created it. I am a very open minded person and I think it is a healthy thing. Why surpress it? There is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides your boyfriend did not cheat on you. Maybe he was just curious. I honestly believe the only people who get upset if their partners look at porn are the one's who are not completely secure with their own relationship.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 35178
I really don't think you over reacted. Almost the same thing happened to me once and I had your same reaction. I know some people feel it is okay but I really don't. To me its disgusting. If it makes you feel uncomfortable your b/f really shouldn't do it.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 7:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 7952
PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! IT'S PORNOGRAPHY!!! I can't believe you let your spouses look at that garbage!!!! And yourselves?! You should be ashamed. Images like that are the downfall of society. Come on! Left Behind, don't put up with that crap. It's either just you or no you. I hate things like this garbage. Ugh. Makes me sick just thinking about it.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 7:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 21839
the sad thing is, its everywhere... tv, computer, books. I don't agree with it but I know it is out there & they are going to look... sometimes all you have to do is walk around outside there is so much clevage & bootie hanging out in young girls its pathetic, not to mention some pools or beaches... This is not for all guys but a good majority of them....its not you, its men, they can have the most beautiful women in the world & they still are looking... I had to get used to dealing with that too...  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 7:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
im not ashamed dolphin, i have no reason to be. if you dont like that stuff , thats your problem, not mine , nor anyone elses here. you dont like it, easy solution. dont look at it. dont begrudge others for doing what THEY WANT. |
Date: 8/8/2007 7:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
the thing that would upset me the most is him not clearing the history. if he is an adult there is nothing wrong with it unless he sits in front of it 24/7 and ignores you or tries to turn you into one of them. i have looked up porn a couple of times and i cleared the history trail as soon as i was finished so none of the kids would see where i had been.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 7:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 62983
No I don't think you over reacted. It is hurtful. I know, I have been going through the same thing. I however, am at the end of my rope. Sorry you are going through this. Hugz...  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 7:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 8817
I am surprised by your reaction DW how can u shame somebody else for what they like. You always struck me as a very open minded and non judgemental person. And no I am not ashamed. It is natural and we as humans are very sexual beings. I do not believe in surpressing myself in any sort of way. |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 62881
I am sorry that this happened...and no, I do not think you over reacted. I would have felt the same way...  |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:09:00 AM
From Authorid: 60792
honestly...no it wouldn't really make me want to cry or anything. If I found out my boyfriend was looking at that stuff I might ask him to look at it together if he wants to see it. It doesn't bother me, cause I'll admit that I've looked at the stuff before myself. It becomes a problem however when that is all they want to look at and when they try to deny and cover it up. It is OK to do every once in a while, as long as it is understood that they aren't looking at that stuff because they would rather look at it than you. Talk, talk, talk about it before you read into it and HURT YOURSELF with your conclusions, you know? Sometimes your conclusions might be right and you have a problem, or sometimes you are just so hurt by what you think that you are totally off the spectrum.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 8:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 60792
DW, I'm not ashamed to say I've looked at porn before and you can't make me feel ashamed. Sorry. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 8:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 63222
Well. i dont think i would've reacted that way. But if thats how you felt you had to handle the situation, dont let anyone tell you, you overreacted. At the time, thats what you needed to do. No regrets. |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 7830
my husband had an addiction to porn at one point ad had to get help for it. looking at that stuff is cheating in the mind, and to me is as bad as cheating. its NOT something i tolerate at all anymore and will never again and i dont think you should tolerate it either. Porn is nothing but lust filled trash and its dangerous to our world.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 8:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 7830
honestly I cant believe people are even telling you it's ok..its NOT ok. lust is NOT a healthy thing, it makes people sick and they dont even know it. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 7830
people im saying this from experience. |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 40979
I don't think you over reacted. If my boyfriend looked at that trash, I would feel bad as well. I don't care if men are visually aroused or not. Porn is degrading. End of story.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 21266
NO I dont think you over reacted, I'd be disgusted beyond words.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 63194
People can say what they want, but we are no different in some ways that most other species on this planet. We were NOT meant to be monogamous, therefore I do think that those who do believe in monogamy should be darn happy that people "just look" from time to time, rather than acting on their desires.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 58078
Hubby and I are just like shay and her husband. Its human nature to look. I even point women out to him as well. But he is with me...fat, prego and all. LOL  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 64365
If what a person in a relationship is doing offends or hurts the other person, then the act needs to be assessed as to whether or not it could be damaging the relationship, rather than helping it grow...  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 62679
No, I wouldnt be hurt, but we have different beliefs.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 35438
If you feel bad when you know that he's been watching it, then that should be a good enough reason for him to not watch it. You are far more important than some fake woman on a computer screen.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 10657
Well, hmmm I just don't know what to say to this. I guess it would depend on what type of porn it was. No, don't go into details I don't want to know!! Now, I could see the accidentally clicking onto it for example I did a search for girl scout websites and not really paying attention imagine my shock when, the one I clicked on was not g rated to say the least. Flushed with embarrassment cause, it wasn't on my pc that I did it I apologized profusely. I don't think he was trying to replace you at least I hope not!! Since, those things aren't real and they won't get a chance to ever meet those persons in real life probably!! I guess it depends on the person too!!  |
Date: 8/8/2007 10:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 62579
Guys are just like that.I would not like it though. He should respect your feelings.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 10:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 21903
Well, I honestly would be bothered too. I know some gals don't mind that kind of thing, but I personally do. It would hurt me and it would also make me feel like I'm not enough. I am quite sure that is not what was going through your bf's mind when he looked (most don't think that far into a lot of stuff, lol). I know before I met my bf he looked SOME times, but I made it very clear that porn and strip clubs (he's never been to one) were offensive to me and he respects that. I think you made your point to your bf, I am sure things will get better! Love love!!  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 10:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 60792
Shai, are you telling me you don't lust after your husband on the occasion? Lust of course meaning a strong sexual desire towards someone. |
Date: 8/8/2007 10:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 43015
I'd probaly react the same way as you..  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 10:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 8817
There is nothing wrong with lust. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 10:52:00 AM ( Admin )
I know that people don't need to look at that stuff. I think that people do because they can. I think people shouldn't give in to those urges. If you do then where do you draw the line next time. The more you give in the more you want. It's an addiction and like all addictions they can ruin your life. My advice, stay away from it. Remain innocent and you will be a happier person. (The only perspective I know).. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Shortmuffinds Idol, thanks. He really didnt try to lie about it or anything, he was pretty honest about the whole situation. It was still hurtful, and I let him know how bad it made me feel. <3 Thanks Celtic Princess, he seemed almost as upset that it hurt me-as I was upset over him looking at it. Thanks for reading and responding. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:07:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks Alissa, I wish I could feel the same way about this stuff as you do but I cant help the fact that it bothers me. Im actually pretty secure with our relationship, I do however have insecurities when it comes to myself..but Im working on it. I just wish he wouldnt be "curious" and want to look at other people like that. Thanks again for your response. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:10:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks Short Angel, its good to see Im not the only one who feels this way on this. After he saw my reaction over it, I doubt he'll be doing it anymore. I still wish he wouldnt want to do it in the first place. Thanks Dolphin Witch, I hated the way I felt when I found it on here. I know exactly what you mean when you say it "makes you sick." <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 8817
I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN NOT PUTTING LIMITS ON YOURSELF. THERE ARE ENOUGH ALREADY WITH OUR SOCIETY. So to everybody who is trying to tell me I should be ashamed of myself.. just be quiet. Putting your head in the sand and pretending something is not there never did much good for anybody. Now Angie if you are really hurt by this and your boyfriend loves you then he will respect your wishes or at least hide it alittle better. It does not matter if I think you over reacted or not what matters is your relationship. If you are upset then fix it. It is your relationship not mine. It does not matter what bothers me or what I think is right and wrong. All that matters is how comfortable you are with your relationship and with your boyfriend. Nobody elses opinion but your own really matters. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:15:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Sugar Bear, thanks. I agree with you..it is everywhere, even when you go out in public you see girls running around in outfits so skimpy they need to be outlawed. Even though its just "looking" I still find it to be hurtful. Thanks for reading and responding. <3 |
Date: 8/8/2007 11:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 43991
OH yeah, it would bother me too. I would probably react exactly as you have.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Moma Bug, I think he did attempt to clear the history because some of the files from that day were missing but I guess he couldnt figure out how to get it all off here. Thanks for your response. Thanks Wandering Gurl thanks, yes it can be very hurtful. Im sorry you are going through this as well. <3 |
Date: 8/8/2007 11:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 17560
I don't think you overreacted at ALL. It's between you and him and how you both feel about your relationship and how you respect each others feelings. You don't like it and he should respect that. Some people on here have relationships that are more open minded to those things and that's ok. But if you don't like stuff like that and it hurts you, then it's not ok....  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:26:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks for reading and responding GEF, you were one of the ones in the initial post who told me someone had used my computer to look up these things. You were correct on that one, I actually wish it WAS virus this time. Thanks Lorraine, you are right about hurting yourself more by drawing up your own conslusions. When I first found it, I went through so many emotions and I had so many thoughts racing through my head. Some of the things I was thinking just made me feel even worse. But like I said before, I really cant help the way this stuff makes me feel. We HAVE talked about it, we talked about it a lot. He kept saying he was sorry, it was stupid, and he didnt know it would hurt me so much. Thats one thing I REALLY like about our relationship, we can talk about anything. Thanks for reading and responding. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 35178
It is surprising to me to read some of these comments. This whole idea of just doing what feels good or putting no limits on yourself seems to me just a way to rationalize doing something that you know is wrong. Just because you want to do something doesn't necessarily make it right. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:31:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks for your response 63222 =] Shai thanks, that is EXACTLY the way I felt about it, you just put it into better words for me. "cheating in the mind" To me it just seems wrong for him to want to look at other girls without their clothes on. |
Date: 8/8/2007 11:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 64242
It would have bothered me. But, from what I can tell, some people are offended-others not-and you cannot change the way they think. You have to worry about how you feel - not other people.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:35:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks Absz, I was more hurt and dissapointed by it than anything. I was disgusted, it made me want to vomit. Thanks Ocean Goddess its good to see Im not alone in feeling this way on this subject. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:37:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Ben thanks for your response, while I respect your opinion Im glad everyone out there doesnt feel the same way. I believe people should be able to be happy with one another without having to run out and look for something better. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:41:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
FreckleFace, thanks for responding. I think hes pretty aware now that those types of things do offend me and I think he will probably think twice before doing something like that again. Things have already gotten better with us, I was just having trouble shaking some of those words/images from my mind. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:47:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Author Only, thanks. I felt the exact same way you did over this. I have self esteem issues as well and it hurt me to think he was looking at other girls. Like you when I asked "why" he really couldnt tell me a good reason either. One think I AM glad about though is that he didnt try to lie about it, he fessed up right away and I respect him for doing that. Had he lied, it would have hurt me even more and made me feel like I couldnt trust him at all. Im glad your guy stopped doing it, I dont know if they realize how hurtful this stuff can be sometimes. Thanks for reading and responding. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
To the second Author Only: Im sorry you had to go through this as well. It really does make you physically ill, I kept feeling like I was going to throw up, but I just ended up just being sick to my stomach for the rest of the night. I feel the same way about this stuff as you do and I hope things get better for you as well. <3 |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:53:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks again Alissa, My boyfriend and I are good now. We have been for a day or so, he knows how I feel about it and I dont think he will do it again. I just wanted to be able to talk about it to someone (other than him), and hear others point of view. It really has made me feel a little lighter just getting it out there in the open. |
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Date: 8/8/2007 11:56:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Admin, I agree about not giving in to those urges..espically when it could hurt others. Like you said, if you keep giving in, where do you draw the line? Thanks so much for reading and responding, I appreciate it. <3 |
Date: 8/8/2007 11:59:00 AM
From Authorid: 28190
Guys will be guys, and there are plenty of them that like to look at that certain kind of thing on a regular or occasional basis. It's not my forte but on the rare occasion my husband likes to watch that kind of thing. I don't look at it as a threat. My husband is a good man, he takes care of me well, and he treats me like a queen. He's a good father, and he works hard. The fact that he on occasion likes to indulge in something of that nature, doesn't bother me because he doesn't hide it from me. And I think of it this way. Men and women are both guilty of looking at the opposite gender. No matter how committed you are in a relationship or a marriage it is a natural thing to look at an attractive person. This kind of thing, he is merely looking, and not doing. As long as he is looking at something like this, to me it symbolizes that he isn't out there in the world finding first hand experience. He isn't cheating on me by looking, and these kinds of things are made for men (well most at least) because men, unlike women are a very visual species. Most women have good imaginations, men (although they do imaginations, granted) when it comes to something like this, the visual aspect of it is what is intriguing to them. Otherwise this certain industry would not be quite so popular, right? Is it ok to watch? Not to everyone. Do you have to like it? Absolutely not. Can it become detrimental? Absolutely. If you find that he becomes habitual in looking at this kind of thing, then that is not good at all. I cannot tell you how to deal with this issue, nor can anyone here tell you how to feel on this. Whatever we say doesn't make you right or wrong in your feelings, because feelings are valid. I suggest sitting down with your boyfriend and really talking about it. Try not to make him feel horrible or like he did something completely wrong (because it is very normal), but let him know in a nice way that you aren't comfortable with him looking at that kind of thing, but especially on your computer. Talk to him about it and see if there can be some kind of compromise. You say he treats you right, so I think learning together how to compromise can really help his and your relationship. He isn't doing anything that any other man out there hasn't at least done once. lol.. He's normal in that way. I wish you both much luck. *hugs*  |
Date: 8/8/2007 12:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 64160
Did anyone remember the word "VIRUS" this is more than just a casual thing..tell him to buy a magazine, or buy his OWN comp!!  |
Date: 8/8/2007 12:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 21764
That would really bother me and hurt my feelings.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 12:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 57079
I reacted a very similar way when I found the same thing about my boyfriend... I was and am still bothered by porn, I don't like it and thats just the way I am.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 1:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 30747
Everyone had gotten curious at some time in thier lives. It doesn't make everyone perverts or cheaters. I personally dont' find it interesting at all but I'm not going to lie and say I haven't checked it out to see what all the hubbub was about. (it took about 5 seconds to find out I wasn't missing much) I've been where you are at right now Left Behind. I didn't make a big deal out of it but maybe I should have because it ended up destroying a marriage. Some people do become addicted and it warps the mind...I also speak from experiance.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 1:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 4887
I would be very upset... and no, I don't think you over-reacted.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 4:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 21867
...over-reactive...or insecure...thats the real question...  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
I think you overreacted. When I found porn on the computer, I didn't even bring it up until later when my boyfriend was trying to get some "action". I was like, "Want me to go pull that porn you downloaded back up? Apparently I don't do it for you on my own." I said it in a joking manner and that's exactly how I meant it.. he's right.. it's just porn.. and it's normal for guys [AND girls] to look at it. Some might not be into it, but some are and that's perfectly okay. As long as they're faithful to you, that's what matters.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 13283
It is a billion dollar industry so do not feel too bad . Your boyfriend is not the only one doing it . The nation is addicted to that crap . Razzy aka  |
Date: 8/8/2007 6:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
Well going by some of the comments here that its okay to look at the opposite sex, sure, there is nothing wrong with looking at an attractive guy/gal walking down the street, in a good movie etc, but to look and think of what a hot looking person they are, is a lot different to watching porn and what they do...now I know some of you will think that I'm old fashioned in my ways of thinking etc, but I can assure you that if and when my man made love to me, that it was me that he was loving, not someone he needed to watch doing porn that turned him on...I'm not being judgemental on this either, if you don't mind your guy/gal watching it, thats cool also, it's just not my cup of tea and the answer to your question is, I'd be absolutely furious if that had happened in the relationship with my man...  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 7:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 4995
What I think is..that even the *good and decent* guys once in a while..ALONE on a computer are going to get curious and want to check it out. BUT,if it TRULY bothers you that much...let him know you will NOT tolerate it...I wasnt trying before to say to *give in to him* or that what you were feeling was wrong or anything. Just that it was human nature sometimes to look at *stuff*. My opinion. |
Date: 8/8/2007 7:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 3321
Oh boy...the great "porn" debate....encountered by every woman in a relationship at some point in time. I've had the discussion. Honestly, it does bother me, when it's in excess. I've never had any notion that it has been though, and for whatever reason men are rather different creatures from women in that aspect. I just choose to look at it along the lines of this-if it's not something he is absolutely obsessed with, 24/7, having it on during intimate times, talking about it all the time, or comparing you to, then you really don't need to worry. But, I do think he needs to know it hurts you and you disapprove so he can curb it back.  |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 45630
I think the answer is in his attitude. How does he feel about it. If he sees it as just something to look at then it is fine. If it is cutting into your own time together (trying to keep it g-rated) then there is a problem. My wife has on occasion bought the stuff for me. It doesn't interest her but she doesn't mind it because at the end of the day it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner!!!!  |
Date: 8/8/2007 8:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 64240
As a guy. I know my fellow Friends look at pornography and as do I. I think that if there is a problem you should confront him because thats what i would want my girlfriend to do to me. Though you werent to clear on exactly what hes looking at if its something that is seriously messed up then you may need to put some site blockers on your computer.
Just trying to help you out   |
Date: 8/8/2007 9:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner!!!! HEHEHE I LOVED that one.  |
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Date: 8/8/2007 10:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 63194
If you don't enjoy it, don't view it. I personally am not a porn fiend, but I won't judge anyone who is.... unless it does become such an addiction that it starts to interfere with their lives. The problem I see with our society is that people are beginning to forget that they are human. |
Date: 8/10/2007 12:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 18928
If someone wants to look at porn, I think that is certainly their right, but if you are in a commited relationship, you should definitely consider the other person feelings. I have dealt with this situation, so message me if you ever/want need to talk. <3 hugs.  |
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Date: 8/10/2007 9:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 51292
Thanks so much Stacy and thanks to everyone else who took the time to respond to this. I got quite a few PMs after I posted this so if you wrote me and I havent gotten back to you yet Im sorry and Ill respond as soon as I can. <3 |
Date: 8/10/2007 10:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 12072
I found myself nodding with everything Alissa had to say, that's pretty much mine and my boyfriend's relationship too, we read Penthouse and Playboy, sometimes together, sometimes on our own, we've both caught eachother looking at sites. But if it truly bothers you, talk to him about it.  |
