Date: 7/18/2007 5:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 35160
sounds like you got a good man hun. dont throw it away by being scared. lifes too short not to be happy.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 5:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 42703
Sounds like you found a good man,don't let the ruin of the past-ruin the future. I think it would help if you talked to him (instead of talking to us) about how you feel. If he really loves you,he'll understand and be there to help you. But to me it sounds like he could be the best thing that has came into your life in awhile.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 6:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 3901
Hm, This is a tough situation. The guy sure seems like a nice and reliable guy, but I don't know him in real life.. and after only 3 months of dating, I know I would not be considering marriage. I've been with my boyfriend 2 years and we aren't planning on getting married for another 3, but that's just me. I think you should talk to this guy, if you have commitment issues, jumping into marriage so close to the start of the relationship probably isn't the best thing. But all in all, I think you should talk to your boyfriend and voice your concerns. Let him know you love him, but you just may not be ready for a commitment as big as marriage just yet.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 8:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 7830
he loves you, you love him, your child is seemingly better off with him around, he loves your baby, youre pregnant with his child. why would you NOT marry him?  |
Date: 7/18/2007 8:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 62849
Well, if you're not sure about it, don't do it. When the right one comes along you won't have to ask yourself questions.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 8:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 48809
What a shame to bring illegitement children into the world before marriage. I know you will not like hearing this... but you did post this in the General Advice column.I know that most people do not think anything about creating a child before marriage anymore...but I still believe in upholding good old fashioned morals ,no matter what others think. Things such as this have caused many heartaches not only for parents but also for the poor little children that are involved. I will not go into all the bickering and hatred that surfaces when this relationship falls apart ....as it so frequently does. I will only say that creating a child before marriage is not the way to go about it and that marriage should always come first before having a child and this relationship should be based on love and not lust.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 8:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
To me it sounds like you found a great guy. I'm not sure what else you could ask for. Someone who loves you and just as importantly, loves your child seems nothing to be afraid of. You have to stop and ask yourself what you are doing to your child by bringing a man into his life that he has become attached to...than you're going to change your mind with a baby on the way? That doesn't seem fair. If you aren't sure, by all means don't get married, but you may want to think about what you are doing to your son (or, I'm assuming you have a son! sorry if he is a she) by allowing him to become attached to men who may not be around forever.  |
Date: 7/18/2007 10:15:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
Well i have talked to him....but...i just wanted more opinions  |
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Date: 7/18/2007 10:20:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
Well, i do want to get married to him...but im afraid...both of our parents have been divorced...and mine arent so fond of each other...so ya...i love him...i knew that before we started dating and apperently he thought the same also (hes the one who told me before i ever mentioned it)...the last relationship i was in was based off of 4yrs of lust.. |
Date: 7/18/2007 10:30:00 AM
From Authorid: 63194
I would see more security in a relationship where marriage was not involved  |
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Date: 7/18/2007 12:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 48809
I would not see any security for the children Ben or their mother eitherin this. Papa can just take a hike whenever he feels so inclined and there is nothing to hold him back if he decides to not come up with any money for feeding or clothing his children! No way... a marriage certificate is the only way to go! |
Date: 7/18/2007 6:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
2 thoughts. First of all, he's right: you should either make the committment to stay with one another (through marriage or whatever) or go your separate ways. Those half-way deals don't work out. Second thought: this only a major decision that's going to seriously affect he rest of your life. No wonder you're so confused! You need to think seriously about whether he fulfills all your needs, or whether you're going to be looking for someone else down the line. Also, how compatible are you guys and how well do you make decisions together? Like, have you tried planning anything together and how has that worked out for you? Do you have compatible goals in life? (example: one of you doesn't want to move to Alaska while the other one wants to live in Florida) How often do you find yourself arguing over little things and how do you resolve those arguments? These things will make or break your relationship.  |
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Date: 7/18/2007 6:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
Essentially, you may just need more time to get to know another before you can decide that marriage is the appropriate choice. How you two handle the pregnancy together should be pretty telling. |
