where he lays his head

how do you like it.....watching the clock tick away....alone....because you chose something that was never meant to be......how does it feel to pass the time away after he leaves....knowing in your heart.all you have heard today..was a lie....that in your heart, you know..it is not real....you live within a lie......you sit in the darkness.wondering waiting......why are you alone.....wondering waiting....when 5:30 will come.so you can cry upon his shoulder.crying I missed you..I love you....early morning visits...just waiting....to be lied to......whered you go...why do you leave.....when you are blamed for being a nag...or told dont cry.he wipes away your tear.....looking through you.not at you he whispers.dont cry.......never looking truely at you.....lying....always lying....while you wait impatiently with the confines of your dimly lit room.pacing back and forth..looking out your window...crying your pathetic tears of self pity......why me you cry?.......so what, cry......where were you, you may ask....you kow it is untruth coming at you.....and so an excuse given.....and poor pathetic you, beleives it.....at least wants to....stupid girl......a head lain upon a pillow.is not the pillow onto which you cry.....the head laid down upon a pillow....is not laid upon the sisters couch....the games you play..the lies he tell....you know different.....you know...crybaby.....exactly where it is....and so you pace.waiting for a man who does not live with you..you eagerly await upon the stories that are false..from a man who is not in love with you...knowing it is the truth, as told from his lips into your ear...he is not in love with you.....you wonder why you wait in solitude.....it is because.the pillow you dropped self pity filled tears upon last night is not yours.....its mine....youve been waiting a long time for someone to come lay down next to you, and know he truely does not want towith you. it is not going to happen.....hasnt yet..and is not going to.so keep waiting silly girl..for nothing

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