Date: 12/21/2006 9:43:00 AM
From Authorid: 53284
You obiviously don't have open lines of communication between you and your semi in laws. So, you need to learn how to assert yourself in a friendly loving manor. When you saw the horse in their basket, why didn't you say that you wanted to get that for your son.? You wanted to take your son to santa for his first visit but you didn't make that known to the others. In my life, after many painful lessons, I've learned that communication is the key to functional relationships with friends, family, cooworkers etc. You need to know what you want, what you expect and you need to learn how to communicate that clearly. It would also appear that you need to learn to keep your ideas to yourself with regard to specail presents that you want to get your son. Learn from this so it doesn't happen again.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 9:45:00 AM
From Authorid: 33925
I don't think you are being bratty at all, and I understand your frustrations, however..yea there is a however..LOL..I really don't think they are doing these things to be mean. I think they are wanting the same things you are wanting and they think they are helping you. Just let them know how much you appreciate all they do for your and your Son but you want to do certain things for your Son yourself. I am positive they will understand. Look at it this way. There are ALOT of people that really love your little guy and want to make him happy! How great is that?  |
Date: 12/21/2006 9:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 1799
That would probably upset me. You really need to make them sit down and talk with them. Is this woman your kid's grandma, or is you boyfriend not the father? I ask because you may have to limit things for them to understand just how serious you are.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 10344
Yes, you bet it would make me mad if someone else got to lie to my kid about santa before I did.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 9:49:00 AM
From Authorid: 63194
You think that is bad... I have seen people just plop the car seat in the car, close the door, and drive off... without securing it at all.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 9:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 28190
I agree with LL and Wild Bob  Try talking with them. I think I might be a little annoyed about the Santa thing, but then again you are fortunate in that you have inlaws that are wanting to share in the raising of your son. I don't think they mean anything malicious about it at all, and in fact it may be a total misunderstanding. If you mentioned the horsey to them, then maybe they thought that since you would have to save for it, that they would help by just getting it for him. As long as they aren't overstepping your boundary at being a parent or trying to intercede, then I'd probably ignore it, if at all possible. What they're doing sounds like they are doing it to benefit your son. And About Santa, I'm sure they didn't think anything of it at all, although they probably should have talked to you first, and invited you. Look at it this way hun, if this is his first Christmas, you can do it again, and he will probably remember it more because he was with mommy. There is no one else on the Earth, that a baby wants more, especially in their first years, than their mommy. It's a special bond, so if anything take him to see Santa again, and I'm sure if there is any memory of it at all, he'll remember the time with his mommy. Good luck with it and I hope that in the future you guys can talk things out.  *hugs*  |
Date: 12/21/2006 10:13:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
my bf is the father  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:17:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
Thats what had happened a couple of times Ben |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:18:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
I took him on Sun to see Santa...just ticks me off since I already told them that i wanted to do it:/..lol |
Date: 12/21/2006 10:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 62849
I think I would be disappointed about the Santa thing, but the horse thing I would get over. As long as my kid was happy, I wouldn't care who bought things for him or her.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:20:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
Wild Bob and LL i've tried talking to them before but they get the wrong idea about...they tend to jump to conclusions |
Date: 12/21/2006 10:35:00 AM
From Authorid: 40145
well if you plan on getting your son something just keep it to yourself, get over it, they are getting it FOR your son not for you. be apprecaited that your boyfriend's family are buying stuff for him, they are involved in his life!! be grateful for that, because some of families don't do that. Maybe they tried to help you to GET it for him, they probably didn't do it to make you mad.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 40145
and your son is too young to remember his "first" time with santa so dont make a big deal out of it. wait until hes 2 or 3 years old then up to ya |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:48:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
the thing is they ALWAYS so this kind of stuff...and the 1st Christmas is very special to me...even though he may never remember I will and there will be pictures also... |
Date: 12/21/2006 10:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 62579
Just don't tell them what you want to get him next time or explain to them that it's very important that you get to see his first moments.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 10:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 62579
I know how important my daughters first Christmas was. I have it all on video |
Date: 12/21/2006 11:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 40145
is it your boyfriend's mom's first grandchild?? if so, maybe she can't help it? if not.. just keep things to yourself that you really want for you first , or maybe you do things FIRST then let then have your son? i know how IMPORTANT the 1st times are!!! i have 2 boys  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 11:07:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
i got to get a video camera...had one but it was stolen |
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Date: 12/21/2006 11:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 40145
OR do things with your boyfriend family with your son all the "first times" stuff. to avoid feelings get hurt. |
Date: 12/21/2006 11:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 53052
i think you should have a real heart to heart with them, tell them that they are taking away all the firsts from you, and these things are really important to you(like any mom) remind them how it was when it was thier baby and would they like those special first things taken away from them  |
Date: 12/21/2006 11:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 62901
I'm the same way. I mean, it is something that you'll get over... but I do it too. It's your kid, and when you tell a grandparent or someone that you're going to do something special with your child and they beat you to it, to do it first it is naturally upsetting. It's not their child... they already had that experience. But I do think that you need to discuss with them or it will continue to happen.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 11:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
Thats what I would want to do...but i've heard the excuse before that since im working they'll just go ahead |
Date: 12/21/2006 12:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 27403
I would be greatly peeved~ Love and Light  |
Date: 12/21/2006 1:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 14464
I'd be mad as well. It is your kid and you have the right to do all his first with him. Also about the car seat I would be extremely mad about. If I were you I'd let them know they are not allowed to take him anywhere unless the seat is secure otherwise the police will be called. That is my biggest pet peeve I think, I hate to see kids unsafe and they can't help themsleves by properly locking themselves in. About them getting all the first before you I'd simply tell them they need to stop and if they don't they won't see their grandchild anymore. If they don't like it then oh well unless you are living with them try and be nice, but still put your foot down.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 1:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
yep. My mother-in-law gave my son his first haircut while I was in the hospital giving birth, and she didn't even bother to save a lock for his baby book. Why? Because she didn't keep baby books for her kids and didn't find it neccessary. Yeah? so what? I do! I'm over it, but I was livid when it happened. She's stepped on my toes more than once. My mother does it, too. I try to keep in mind that they do it because they love them, but it does get frustrating.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 2:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 3321
I'd worry more about the car seat than the other stuff. Also...just stop telling them what you want to do for your son and assert yourself as the MOTHER...you are the parent-not them.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 4:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
:/.......people tick me off lol |
Date: 12/21/2006 6:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 64365
Sweetie, if this is upsetting you, then you need to set boundaries. I'm pretty sure they mean no harm. Probably, they are just trying to help...and sometimes helping can get in the way of your plans. Let them know. Don't offer up details on what you intend to do, as this just seems to prompt them into wanting to make it easier for you. I've been where you are at, and it won't get any better unless you let them know how you feel.  |
Date: 12/21/2006 7:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 64160
I ONLY HAVE 4 THINGS TO SAY`THIS IS MY CHILD` My best to you  |
Date: 12/21/2006 8:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
i'd be glad. let them buy the horse. he won't remember anyway. he won't remember santa the first time either. there's one of 2 things going on here. either they are trying to help you out by making sure that baby has all the things you want for him and maybe can't afford. or...they are pushy in laws that want to take over everything concerning your son. figure out which it is and then do or say something about it. until then, if it bothers you so much just don't mention when you are wanting to buy him something or have special plans. either way they won't know if you don't tell them and they can't butt in or try to help. i don't think you're bratty. i think you are young and haven't learned the way some people can be. what would bother me would be the carseat. no matter what that baby should be strapped in the right way every time. maybe it would be best for them to get a carseat that has one part that stays in the car and the seat just lifts out when you put the kid in and out. good luck!  |
Date: 12/21/2006 8:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 64123
The baby won't even remember the Santa visit, whats important is the memory you have of him sitting on santa's knee...just like his mother has a right to as well. If you couldn't do it together there's no reason why doing it seperately is a big deal. The important thing with the gift is that he will enjoy it but I can somewhat understand your anger with that one, you had planned something out and she interferred. I might be compelled to tell her to return the gift and say I had already bought it.  |
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Date: 12/21/2006 9:09:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62887
it is a car seat that one piece stays in the car and the other lifts the problem is that my bf's brother just throws it in sometimes or makes it look like its strapped in...so when your driving the seat tips over...i just think they are pushy....we werent invited for the last 2 yrs for christmas or any holidays but since after he was born we have been getting invited to everywhere:/....so ya....i know he wont remember it but its the fact that i was there when he first sat on santas knee |
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Date: 12/22/2006 8:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 4144
ok. i see. i got a few like that. here's what you do. STOP telling them anything. as long as they are allowed to get by with this crap they will keep doing it. i have a question....why is your boyfriend's brother driving your baby anywhere? you and your boyfriend have to stick together on this and be firm...the seat is put in the car the right way or the baby don't go. your BF needs to be the one to show his brother how to properly install the seat and he needs to be the one to tell him the baby cant go in the car if the seat is not right. the parents need to stick together and back each other when it comes to the kids. the grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins are not the parents and have no say. |
Date: 10/24/2007 8:49:00 PM
From Authorid: 56176
mother in laws ..........im glad i love my hubby enough not to kill his momma because i could have many times ,or wanted too actually,but i love her Dearly ,but she has 5 daughters and 1 son ,and thats the problem my kids where treated different then the daughters childrens ,she even told me she prayed my children }which are all grown }never had children
i was so enraged! but im gona be a granma in feb my children are 26,22, 19 ,18, my 22 year old had cancer had chemo and she really felt bad then ,so i just try to ignore her bad sides because i do love her son and she did a great wonderful job on raising my hunny ,good luck  |
