Date: 11/19/2006 3:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 13969
Hmm. I'd say if you want to try to help, be honest, frank and tactful. If not, then I'd just limit my friendship (personally) because he sounds like drama waiting to happen   |
Date: 11/19/2006 3:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 6915
Sand, it is drama. It's like Im always on egg shells...all my friends are w/ him.  |
Date: 11/19/2006 3:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 63026
I agree, maybe talk to him and help him out. Maybe show him girls aren't so bad, and shouldnt be afraid of them.
Im 21, And im like your friend Tom. I dont take the initative to talk to girls. Though I know I should. But im not emotional about it.  |
Date: 11/19/2006 3:55:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
I can definitely see where you are coming from because I once had a boyfriend that was so insecure about other guys even talking to me that he would do the same things, pouting, not wanting to join in the conversation, and making me not want to be with him. That kind of behaviour only makes things worse, and is never attractive. It only showcases insecurity and jealousy. I think your action would have to depend on your relationship with this guy. Do you know him well enough to trust that he will not flip out on you if you tell him the truth? Will he turn this into a war, or appreciate what you have to say? You know him better than we do  |
Date: 11/19/2006 4:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 7830
Ive had friends like this, unfortunatly, this is just how some people react to stuff...not alot will change it except time and maturity.  |
Date: 11/19/2006 5:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 40145
just be straight up with him, you are his friend, he has alot to learn, just tell him that you are trying to be his friend and that you would like to help him, sad looks dont work lol  |
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Date: 11/19/2006 5:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 40145
unless he has serious dilemma then that is a reason to have a sad look but just to get a girl's attention thats a turn off .. good luck you sound like a good friend! |
Date: 11/19/2006 7:29:00 PM
From Authorid: 39370
He needs to stop being pouty and sad when a girl doesn't give him her full attention and either move on to another person, or work to get her attention without getting emotionally bent out of shape. I guess there's really nothing you can do but just tell him the truth. Let him know that a lot of women aren't going to be drawn to a sulky man.  |
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Date: 11/19/2006 7:34:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 6915
Breezy, I know him well, I can almost predict he'd be sad and pout if I told him. Thanks for your help everyone! |
Date: 11/19/2006 8:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 27403
Being socially shy can be a devastating thing, especially if you have low self esteem, too! Try to be patient with him! He is worth it! Love and Light  |
Date: 11/19/2006 10:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 20750
Agrees with Lightwoker!  |
Date: 11/19/2006 10:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 14464
My last boyfriend was the same way! You just have to tell him how it is and hope it gets through. It will hurt his feelings, but he needs to hear it and he will get over it. My ex got to be very annoying too because he was very clingy, he hadn't had too many girlfriends and wasn't good at making new ones so the ones he had he did everything in his power to try and work things out although it wasn't workable. He always wanted to be the center of attention as well and would throw a fit if he wasn't, but was too shy to put himself there. I'm so glad he's in jail now and can't bother me anymore!  |
Date: 11/20/2006 7:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 62826
He sounds insecure. You can only give him advice using positive input and maybe it will start to register. Tell him "you know there probably are girls in here that would love to just dance and have fun, so just give the dancing part a chance and you just never know." The girl doesn't have to be the prettiest in the place, we are out just to have fun..."and stop pouting, it doesn't become you."
Lorkrister |
Date: 11/20/2006 7:55:00 AM
From Authorid: 47218
I've known too many guys like this. All I gotta say is, *why* do they always go for the prettiest, most-outgoing girl in the room? (shaking head) You might tell him, among other things, that he should try talking to the girls who are *not* the center of attention. It's a whole lot less intimidating, they'd probably be more receptive to talking to him, it's good practice, and he might find that he has more in common with one of them.  |
Date: 11/22/2006 7:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 18516
It sounds like he has low self-esteem & I know shyness is a hard thing to overcome. I'd talk to him, give him advice, heck even give him conversation starters.  |
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Date: 11/24/2006 6:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 64115
It sounds like he has some self-esteem issues. He has to want to be with himself before anyone else is going to want to be with him. He cannot let others dictate how he should be treated. It's good of you to care about him so much. He should count his blessings and grow up. Pouting is for pre-schoolers. |
Date: 12/2/2006 8:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 64365
it's really hard sometimes to be friends with a victim. The more you feed into his emotional displays, the more he will use them to get any kind of attention. I would straight up tell him that his attitude puts a damper on things when pepople are trying to have a good time. You may hurt his feelings a little, but in the long run you will be helping him a lot. He just may need a verbal picture of what he looks like to others to get him back on the right track... It may backfire, and he may resent you, but it will still give him something to think about.  |
