6/13/06 - The Day I Lost All Self-Respect

It all starts out like a fairy tale

I let him into my life

I try not to let him know too much too fast

I hide the pills, I cover the scars made from the knife

I fall for his sweet words, his gentle kiss

I think "this time is different. It won't be the same"

I build him up to be a God

But in the end, I always shoulder the blame

I let him take me into his world

I let him do what he likes

I tell myself it's okay, that I'm fine

While my heart is pierced with spikes

I ignore every gut instinct

I tell myself to relax and enjoy the ride

I sacrifice everything I have

My heart, my soul, my pride

It all comes back to you, you know

What happened that hot July night

I've always had problems, but not like this

Now I can't do anything right

This is my letter to the world

That never wrote to me

A final goodbye, a tearful farewell

To myself, to you, to my sanity

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