Any hints, advice?...^^^Gazza^^^

Well I have hit yet again another low point...

Now I am nearly 20 years old. I really can not believe I am nearly 20...This have changed so much in so many aspects of my life, but in others nothing has changed...

I am struggling once again with everything, and due to this I have stopped talking to people, and once again started to really take it out on myself all of the time. It really is driving me nuts. I am going crazy in this little world of mine...

I am living in another country, which everyone thinks should help, but to tell the truth, it helps a lot, because a lot of people do not know about the problems which I have had in the past, and which I am still suffering with even though I am 20. I feel that I should not be complaining, because I know that a lot of people suffer with a lot worse things, which are actually life threating and not due to their own behaviours, which mine are....

But I have dealt with this for at least the last 10 years, and maybe more, and really I do not want to go through another 10 years, but I do not know how much more my body will be able to take, and I dont know if I will ever be the person I would like to be....

My main goal is eventually to help people who also deal with the issues which I suffer and have suffered from...but unfortunatly I do not even know what tomorrow will bring...and I know you have to live one day at a time, however I am not one of those people who can...

i dont know what is happening in my life at the moment, nor do I know what will happen tomorrow, and in 6 months time, my life is going to end, and I am going to have to start from scratch, and most probably I will just run away again....I am stuck in this cycle...I really do not know what to do about this...

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