Date: 3/6/2006 2:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
she sounds like a jerk and you have every reason to ignore her.  |
Date: 3/6/2006 2:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33918
worst off she wasent a jerk towards me for 5 years and she dates this guy and turns into a jerk..  |
Date: 3/6/2006 3:04:00 PM
From Authorid: 24924
Oh dear me, can I relate to YOUR story. This has happen to me with my sisters and a couple of neices. For years I went through all sorts of feelings and emotions, but today, I rarely see or hear from anyone. It's best that way, for they will never admit they did anything wrong; will never in anyway admit any fault on their part. I know all about that part about only calling or coming around if they need something. bleh....It all boils down to their extreme jealousy which had been brewing for years. Don't stress yourself. YOU know you are not the one who is at fault. You can't change her. SHE is the one who has to change; if there is to be a relationship with you. I don't see that happening. Get on with YOUR life. And, don't hate. Hate just makes YOU miserable and all stirred up. You don't have to put up with her crap either. Just say no. Put time and space between.  |
Date: 3/6/2006 3:24:00 PM
From Authorid: 62927
I can totally relate. I have some advice- learned the hard way. If you hate her, then she is still manipulating you. So instead, do not try to understand her, accept her, and make your boundaries known immediately and just take comfort that you have to take the consequenses of her railling against your boundries, or else you could be raiing against your own boundaries *hugs* *mean people are ignorant* Celtic River  |
Date: 3/6/2006 3:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 63265
I don't blame you for being upset. Try and explain to her what you've been feeling?
*callie*  |
Date: 3/6/2006 5:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 36901
You should try to get past the hate, because that only hurts you. However, you have every right to be angry and not want to be around her. Forgive her for your own sake. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to tolerate them. You can forgive and move on. I hope you're able to get past this.  |
Date: 3/6/2006 5:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
I too can relate to this story hun, while ever you hate, she has won....dont let it destroy you, move forward in your life, because she will....I know exactly how you feel sweetie....*hugs*  |
Date: 3/6/2006 6:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 63280
I've seen something similar happen time and again to someone very close to me. The others are wise to advise you to try and let go of the hate and eventually the anger - the only thing those emotions do is destroy. I know it won't be easy, but it will be better for you in the long run. The only thing I can think of suggesting is, not necessarily to wash your hands of her completely, but let things be. If she contacts you for info, maybe it would be better if you not give it to her (depending on what it is of course). Don't let her use you in that way either - if you keep giving in on that premise, she'll take whatever she can get and won't think twice about only contacting you for that reason. If things are reparable, however, I highly suggest trying to speak with her. At the moment, things might not be, considering her major change came with her boyfriend. It might take her breaking up with him at some point to realize exactly what she's done. I hope things work out well for you ~ Coffee Goddess  |
Date: 3/6/2006 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 53689
Your anger is understandable. But for your own health, you should try to let go of the hate. If you can forgive her, you can let go of the hate that is building up inside. And if she sees that you care enough about her to forgive her for her mistakes, she might one day realize what she did to you.  |
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Date: 3/6/2006 6:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 63280
I just want to kind of play off of what Tarheel Girl posted - I agree 100% with her that you should try to work towards forgiveness. But I also know that forgiveness can be a very hard thing to do. My advice: Work toward acceptance, and then once you establish that, work towards forgiveness. Acceptance is like a stepping stone to forgiveness in that it makes it easier to let go of some of the hatred or anger you may feel and will make forgiveness that much more within your grasp. At least, that's how it's always worked for me. Take care ~ Coffee Goddess |
Date: 3/6/2006 6:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 15394
I think the only reason we hang on to anger is that we are hurt... Until you deal with the hurt that she caused you, you probably won't let go of that all damaging anger... Unfortunately you have to decide for yourself how to say "I'm hurt and that makes me angry" Once you can do that, you can tell yourself that it is finally time to move on. Forgive or not, you have to be the one in charge of YOU and decide, really make a choice to let it go... Best wishes in overcoming the hurt she obviously sent your way  I'm sorry for ya... Remember it is your CHOICE...  |
Date: 3/6/2006 8:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 53052
hatred is a strong emotion... i can see why you want to hate her but if you hate her you only hold onto the hate for her... i think i'd feel more sorry for the boyfriend then hate for her.. having to put up with her.. i think some of the things you have said she did are a touch insane.. i think she wants some space and hhonestly give it to her... i have a friend like this.. he only called when he wanted something.. th eonly time we hung out is when someone set up a group thing and we just both happened to be there... honestly if it was me...call her on her issue"you only call when you want something" then cut her out of her life..let her make the first move  |
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Date: 3/7/2006 3:03:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 33918
Yeah but I did explain to her everything, I did breathed carefully and not scream at her everytime we spoke. I asked her why she was avoiding me. I know her boyfriend doesnt like me because one day I was on the phone and he was apoligizing to me about the apt incindent and I was really angry and I told him I was not angry at him but at her. After I passed the phone to my bf and the guy started saying to my bf how immature and dumb I was...I beleive my sister doesnt want to speak to me in fear of losing him. Its her first serious relationship, I understand that, in some weird way I do care about her well being, but I dont think she deserves any respect from anyone because she can treat me that way and act like if nothing happen. I am trying so hard to wish them the best.. but I cant let go of this little knot inside of me that is still mad at her for turning her back on her best friend of 5 years! |
