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Date: 1/11/2006 9:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 55533
Child abuse is horrible. I can't believe people would do that to such inocent beings. My sister and I have been abused emotionally and now we're the 'basketcases' in class. Can you give me the address to the post you read about child abuse?  |
Date: 1/11/2006 9:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
Child abuse is something that I despise. I realize though, that many who abuse don't want to or don't realize they're doing it, when it comes to emotional or verbal abuse. My mother is still in denial about the abuse she did to us and allowed to happen to us as children. I struggle with not being the same since sometimes history repeats itself if you don't make a conscious effort to prevent it from doing so. I try very hard to be a good mother and I don't consider myself to be abusive but no parent is perfect all of the time. The only thing we can do is to be aware like you said and take action if we suspect trouble. Great post.  |
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Date: 1/11/2006 9:37:00 PM
From Authorid: 34487
I wanted to add that my mother was emotionally and verbally abusive but not anything else. Any type of abuse adversely effects children though and that is why it's good that people talk about it and try to do as much as they can to prevent it. Once again, great post. |
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Date: 1/11/2006 9:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
What is the definition of child abuse? Child abuse consists of any act or failure to act that endangers a child's physical or emotional health and development. A person caring for a child is abusive if he or she fails to nurture the child, physically injures the child, or relates sexually to the child. What are the types of child abuse? The four major types of child abuse are: Physical abuse Sexual abuse Emotional abuse Neglect Another type of abuse is child exploitation (distinct from sexual exploitation). This is the use of a child in work or other activities for the benefit of others. Child labor is an example of child exploitation for commercial reasons. Using a child in this way detracts from their own physical, mental, and social development. What is physical abuse? Physical abuse is any non-accidental physical injury to a child. Even if the parent or caretaker who inflicts the injury might not have intended to hurt the child, the injury is not considered an accident if the caretaker's actions were intentional. This injury may be the result of any assault on a child's body, such as: beating, whipping, paddling, punching, slapping, or hitting pushing, shoving, shaking, kicking or throwing pinching, biting, choking, or hair-pulling burning with cigarettes, scalding water, or other hot objects. severe physical punishment that is inappropriate to child's age. Corporal (physical) punishment is distinguished from physical abuse in that physical punishment is the use of physical force with the intent of inflicting bodily pain, but not injury, for the purpose of correction or control. Physical abuse is an injury that results from physical aggression. However, physical punishment easily gets out of control and can become physical abuse. Corporal punishment is against the law in schools in some states, but not in others. In many families, physical punishment is the norm. Hundreds of thousands of children are physically abused each year by someone close to them, and thousands of children die from the injuries. For those who survive, the emotional scars are deeper than the physical scars. What is sexual abuse? Sexual abuse of a child is any sexual act between an adult and a child. This includes: fondling, touching, or kissing a child's genitals making the child fondle the adult's genitals penetration, intercourse, incest, rape, oral sex or sodomy exposing the child to adult sexuality in other forms (showing sex organs to a child, forced observation of sexual acts, showing pornographic material, telling "dirty" stories, group sex including a child) other privacy violations (forcing the child to undress, spying on a child in the bathroom or bedroom) sexual exploitation enticing children to pornographic sites or material on the Internet luring children through the Internet to meet for sexual liaisons exposing children to pornographic movies or magazines child prostitution using a child in the production of pornography, such as a film or magazine The above acts are considered child abuse when they are committed by a relative or by a caretaker, such as a parent, babysitter, or daycare provider, whether inside the home or apart from the home. (If a stranger commits the act, it is called sexual assault.) The legal age of consent for two people to have sexual relations ranges from twelve to twenty-one, and varies by state within the United States and by country. In most states, having sex with a person younger than the legal age of consent is against the law. Even if the two parties agree to the sexual relationship, it is still against the law. Each state is very specific as to its laws about sex with minors. Sexual abuse is especially complicated because of the power differential between the adult and child, because of the negotiations that must occur between adult and child, and because the child has no way to assimilate the experience into a mature understanding of intimacy. Regardless of the child's behavior or reactions, it is the responsibility of the adult not to engage in sexual acts with children. Sexual abuse is never the child's fault. Sexual abusers can be: parents, siblings, or other relatives childcare professionals clergy, teachers, or athletic coaches neighbors or friends strangers What is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse is any attitude, behavior, or failure to act on the part of the caregiver that interferes with a child's mental health or social development. Other names for emotional abuse are: verbal abuse mental abuse psychological maltreatment or abuse Emotional abuse can range from a simple verbal insult to an extreme form of punishment. The following are examples of emotional abuse: ignoring, withdrawal of attention, or rejection lack of physical affection such as hugs lack of praise, positive reinforcement, or saying "I love you" yelling or screaming threatening or frightening negative comparisons to others belittling; telling the child he or she is "no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake" using derogatory terms to describe the child, name-calling shaming or humiliating habitual scapegoating or blaming using extreme or bizarre forms of punishment, such as confinement to a closet or dark room, tying to a chair for long periods of time, or terrorizing a child parental child abduction Emotional abuse is almost always present when another form of abuse is found. Some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect; regardless, they are both child abuse. Emotional abuse of children can come from adults or from other children: parents or caregivers teachers or athletic coaches siblings bullies at school middle- and high-school girls in social cliques What is neglect? Neglect is a failure to provide for the child's basic needs. The types of neglect are: physical educational emotional Physical neglect Physical neglect is not providing for a child's physical needs, including: inadequate provision of food, housing, or clothing appropriate for season or weather lack of supervision expulsion from the home or refusal to allow a runaway to return home abandonment denial or delay of medical care inadequate hygiene Educational neglect Educational neglect is the failure to enroll a child of mandatory school age in school or to provide necessary special education. This includes allowing excessive truancies from school. Emotional (psychological) neglect Emotional neglect is a lack of emotional support and love, such as: not attending to the child's needs, including need for affection failure to provide necessary psychological care domestic violence in the child's presence, such as spousal or partner abuse drug and alcohol abuse in the presence of the child, or allowing the child to participate in drug and alcohol use When authorities examine emotional neglect, they take into consideration cultural values and standards of care, as well as the level of family income, which may interfere with proper care. Some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect; regardless, they are both child abuse. What are the signs and symptoms of child abuse? If you suspect child abuse, but aren't sure, look for clusters of the following physical and behavioral signs. Some signs of physical abuse Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object Bite marks Anti-social behavior Problems in school Fear of adults Drug or alcohol abuse Self-destructive or suicidal behavior Depression or poor self-image Some signs of emotional abuse Apathy Depression Hostility Lack of concentration Eating disorders Some signs of sexual abuse Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts Seductiveness Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or bodies Nightmares and bed wetting Drastic changes in appetite Overcompliance or excessive aggression Fear of a particular person or family member Withdrawal, secretiveness, or depression Suicidal behavior Eating disorders Self-injury Sometimes there are no obvious physical signs of sexual abuse, and a physician must examine the child to confirm the abuse. Some signs of neglect Unsuitable clothing for weather Being dirty or unbathed Extreme hunger Apparent lack of supervision What are the causes of child abuse? Why would someone abuse a child? What kind of person abuses a child? Not all abuse is deliberate or intended. Several factors in a person's life may combine to move them toward abusing a child: general stress the stress of having children in the family, when one didn't have children before dealing with a child who has a disability or difficult behaviors the stress of caring for someone besides oneself a personal history of being abused (childhood trauma) alcohol or drug use marital conflict unemployment No one has been able to predict which of these factors will cause someone to abuse a child. A significant factor is that abuse tends to be intergenerational - those who were abused as children are more likely to repeat the act when they become parents or caretakers. In addition, many forms of abuse arise from ignorance, isolation, or benign neglect. Sometimes a cultural tradition leads to abuse, for example, such beliefs as: children are property parents (especially males) have the right to control their children in any way they wish children need to be toughened up to face the hardships of life girls need to be genitally mutilated to assure virginity and later marriage. What are the results of child abuse? Child abuse can have the following dire consequences: Your child may become someone who lies, resents, fears, and retaliates, rather than loves, trusts, and listens. Your child may become reclusive, and alienated from you and from the rest of your family. Your child will have low self-esteem, and is likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors. Your child's psychological development and social behavior will be impaired. As an adult, your child may abuse his or her own children, who are your grandchildren. As an adult, your child may exclude you, including from celebrations and family gatherings. You may not be permitted to spend time with your grandchildren. The results of being abused as a child vary according to the severity of the abuse and the surrounding environment of the child. If the social environment of the family or school is nurturing and supportive, the child will probably have a better outcome. Results of physical abuse Physical abuse may result in: difficulty establishing intimate personal relationships difficulty in adulthood with physical closeness, touching, intimacy, or trust high levels of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, medical illness, or problems at school or work becoming an abusive parent or caregiver Results of emotional abuse Emotional abuse can result in serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders. Results of sexual abuse Some results of prolonged sexual abuse are: low self-esteem a feeling of worthlessness an abnormal or distorted view of sex personality disorders difficulty relating to others except on sexual terms tendency to become child abusers or prostitutes other serious problems in adulthood. A recent post brought this to my attention, The lack of help for the children involved have stayed on my mind. I believe we must all act, do whatever we can to help any child who is being abused.  |
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Date: 1/11/2006 9:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
Read the "recently replied to posts". Child abuse is horrible, I can't imagine the pain kids go through who live in homes like this. |
Date: 1/11/2006 9:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 14464
ION Arizona it is impossable to get children away from abusing mothers. CPS does nothing. I remember as a kid there was thig little girl my mom would watch and her mother was on drug bad and you could tell she was neglected from the way she was filthy and had the same diaper on for days and her teeth were just rotted out and she was only 2. My mom called CPS on her all the time and they saw nothing wrong w3ith her living there since they never took the girl away. My neice was being sexually abused and most likely still is and no one will help us get her out of the house. Her mom also never cleans has cockroaches everywhere and headlice really bad. CPS found nothing wrong with the way the mother was raising her and enver took her out of the hosue and the courts find nothing wrong with this either.  |
Date: 1/11/2006 9:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 63241
The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was to turn my brother in to the authorities for fondling my granddaughter. I never suspected a thing and when she told me about it I wanted to throw up. He still denies it to this day but the scared look on her face as she told me she was afraid of her uncle and why she felt that way, convinced me she was telling me the ugly truth. I love my brother but he's sick in his mind. The harsh reality of it is that these things can happen to anybody. Not in a million years would I ever have thought my own brother would do such a thing! It's true that most of the time it's a family member. Sad thing is some people want to hide it under a rug, not turn their loved one in when it happens...I even was told by so-called "friends" that I shouldn't have reported him. But the look on my grandchild face haunts me to this day. We MUST protect the children: They have a right to enjoy their innocence and a right to be defended.  |
Date: 1/11/2006 11:52:00 PM
From Authorid: 46530
"Take the child to a quiet, private area. Gently encourage the child to give you enough information to evaluate whether abuse may have occurred." This could be potentially harmful! If you ask "leading" questions such as "Does daddy touch you?" then you invalidate the entire thing. The thing in all this is to reassure and assume nothing, and before you ask, yes I was abused as a child...  |
Date: 1/12/2006 12:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
I use to know some abused kids when I was younger. They curtainly had some interesting things to say about their home life. One of them constantly wanted to come over to my house every weekend.  |
Date: 1/12/2006 2:52:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
Thanks for the post...NO ONE should have to go through something like this it is jsut terrible...  |
Date: 1/12/2006 3:42:00 AM
From Authorid: 62104
I agree  |
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Date: 1/12/2006 8:08:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
Ad, I disagree, my gut disagrees. A child won't tell. I didn't, because no one cared enough to ask. I protect my little ones from every source of abuse, I always will as long as I live. Anyone who doesn't ask is simply afraid to. |
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Date: 1/12/2006 8:11:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
And so was I Ad, I won't ask because I don't need your definition or do I accept your response. What happened to me will never happen to my granddaughter's as long as I draw breath, I was afraid to tell my Mom, even when she asked. |
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Date: 1/12/2006 8:14:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
I knew she didn't ever want to know, and so I never told. A kid has mixed emotions. I didn't want my Mom to know, so I never told. I kept secret all the abuse and I still keep it secret. |
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Date: 1/12/2006 8:25:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
All of you who answered in a way that would protect a child, keep open your mind, keep open your senses and keep your children very close to you. Protect them. I was so protective of my daughters, and even more so with my grandchildren. My granddaughter is very protected and so will all my grandchildren, I know the signs and know I am more aware and watchful simply because I've been there. I was abused without my Mother ever knowing and now she is gone and I FEEL that I must do even more to make sure this never happens to any of mine. And Ad, those are not the questions one asks of a child who is hurting. You may are not helping by admitting that you were abused. Was it Daddy? And if so, why is that off limits with you"? Who was it and how would you expect to help a child in a similar situation and with what information? That is what is most important. |
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Date: 1/12/2006 8:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
I posted this because Of a physical abuse post here. The poster seems to be worried about being identified. Whether it be physical or sexual abuse of a child, I would expose and hope that anyone guilty of either crime be exposed and jailed before they kill a child, however, the suffering they cause can never be erased from a child's mind, and should just as surely be exposed and the criminal act brought before a court of law. I have no acceptance for child abusers or those who sexually abuse children, I expect full justice and exposure for these crimes against children. |
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Date: 1/13/2006 8:23:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
63241, you said they have a "right to be innocent and be defended, that is as much as I can hope for from most who read and care. One will not worry if one has nothing to hide, only the guilty should be worried about false information. A child is so innocent, those who are loved, know love and have nothing to hide will ever give false information. That is my stand. Children who are abused in any way, at all, by anyone, deserve to be listened to. Again, child abuse could simply stop if someone cared enough... |
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Date: 1/13/2006 8:30:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 12341
meaning, "someone" in the family or even a friend. I Have no pity or prayer for a child abuser, they are simply people who should be locked away, forever. A chid should never live in fear or be hungry because a parent is THE parent. All parents are not PARENTS, not loving, and not caring. Some of what I have known, those parents need to be locked up and have the keys thrown away. A child abuser is simply the same as a child sexual abuser, no different, each destroy the child in much the same way. Either should be incarcerated and as for rehab, who beats a kids or abuses them and gets over it? I don't think so. |
Date: 1/14/2006 1:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 62927
Thank you for ** from the many ugly straws in this subject. I can't find the right words. CR  |
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