ThunderHead #15033

Unlike when PinkyH passed I was not moved to write when I read the shocking news of T.H.'s demise. Pinky was a father figure, a mentor. I revered him, his was the first poem I ever read on U.S.M. & it convinced me to stay, but T.H. was different she was a contemporary, a peer, a thoughtful, caring person who's comments carried a certain weight...respect almost, but not like a professor's, her's were still within a the realm of fellow. She could write in a way that I could not. She could take the ordinary, the mechanical & make it compelling, vivid & interesting. While I needed flaling passions & melodramatic aparitions she was grounded & earthy and...better than me. I miss her...I don't know how to express it. If I write one of my poems, like I did when Pinky left, it wouldn't seem appropriate enough. If I attempted to mimic her style & dedicate it to her, it would seem inadequate. Especially since I could never duplicate her abilities. I think it may be why we got along. We were'nt competitors. We were'nt trying to top each other as sometimes happens with poets, one writes a limric, the next one reads it & uses it to jump start 10 stanzas in iambic pentameter. No, she was not like that. She was special...she still is & I just don't understand how she could be gone. In what universe is it right, is it fair, that someone that good should not be here? T.H., I'll do what I do & I'll do it for you:

I anger at the loss I feel within my heart, At times it burns like fire, At others it scathes like ice, A whole that fills with either- Can never be sufficed;

I've heard this from another, I read this man's advice;

I think I know enough of how to face this plight,

But I also know I'm missing one I can't recite;

When storm clouds roar to heaven- Or mountains change their schemes,

I hear the words of ThunderHead- And I can almost feel my dreams;

I think I may feel well enough to recall her gentle face,

But I also know I'm missing...some one I can't replace.

To: T.H. (Last logged in on 01/06/2003 at 8:32:10 AM) From: My heavy, heavy heart, Big"O".

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