What do I do with this anger that I feel? Or this sadness that tears me apart? Sometimes I feel as though I have multiple personalities. One moment, I feel completely at ease. The nest, it seems as though the world is crashing down on me. My emotions take constant control. Uncertainties terrify me. I hate not knowing whether I'm doing the right thinks, or making the right decisions. Doubt plagues me, deep down to my core.
Self doubt is the worst. Why can't I feel loved? Or beautiful? Everything is confusing. All that seems clear to me are my imperfections. Can you name one good thing about yourself? I can't. maybe I've listened to too many hurtful people for too long. Or, maybe, it's myself that I've listened to. Noone can beat you down lower than you really feel, right?
Why do I feel this over-whelming need to be accepted by everyone I meet? Especially guys. Am I afraid of facing the world alone? Or am I, in some way, trying to make up for the lack of a structured family in my life. I know one thing for certain. I don't want my son to grow up without his father.
Sadly, I get the feeling that, if we aren't together, JD will refuse to acknowledge Sam. If he does, then what do I do? How do you explain to your child that daddy doesn't want him?
Unfortunately, I don't have the answers to these or any other questions. But at least I have this site. And I can get the frustration out once in a while. You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .
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You are in my thoughts 
