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Date: 6/6/2005 10:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 36704
I understand you're venting and I understand you're upset but the way you talked about your very young child, all I can say is.....wow  |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 5229
This has to be the most nauseating post I've ever read within my five years of being a USM member. If you feel that poorly about your son, he's probably wishing that he never existed either.  |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:21:00 AM
From Authorid: 56369
Its when we find ourselves alone in this world, that we find ourselves. Sometimes it takes the lessons of what we dont like to truelly learn and understand what it is that we do like and even then what we wish for is not always what its cracked up to be, thats life. However if you have the strength of mind to appriciate that life comes in good times and bad and to take the good with the bad, we learn that neither one exists without the other. Please understand that while things are looking gloomy right now, the contrast, the good may be just around the corner. Your son is at a crazy age, the terrible twos but his at a stage where he is learning and growing up fast. He will not always be this young, so appreciate whatever joy he brings to you. I dont live in america so i cant really give you any like legal advice or whatever. All i can say is, keep your chin up, your son needs you. And as Aristotle once said (its something along these lines) the greatest men come from times of mellancholly. And i would just like to add, if you ever need to vent again, You can message me, I would love to listen and help if I can. All the best...  |
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Date: 6/6/2005 10:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 5229
I have two words for you, "Birth Control". No kid should EVER have to feel like their mother would like them to have never been born. I pray to God that you never have more children. |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 61897
Um, how is it only your problem to find a sitter? Is it not his kid, too??? You need to vent all that anger and resentment towards yourself and the father, not on that poor, innocent child who didn't ask to be here. YOU and your SIG OTHER brought him into this world, it is your and his fault, not your son's! Sorry, if you were seeking pity you are not getting any from me. I have two kids who I raise on my own, with no govt. help, no child support and so do many other mothers out there. You need to take responsibilty for your choices, actions and consequences and so does the father. Force him to help out and do his share with the child and the child's care, if you let him take advantage of you, that's your fault. If you see no results, leave him. Seek help from family and friends or temp. govt. assistance, shelter, whatever. Get on your feet and quit putting the blame on the one who is the LEAST at fault!  |
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Date: 6/6/2005 10:24:00 AM
From Authorid: 61897
And I hope you are just venting and you are not always like this towards your child. |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:27:00 AM
From Authorid: 4887
...... um wow... if you can't raise this child, put him up for adoption. There's always loving adults out their that WANT a child, but don't have the ability to EVER have one. So, yeah... maybe that's the best for him... and for you. I'm sure they won't call him 'monster'  |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 62876
I have to give you a little understanding. You are in a very bad situation, and I want to believe that you care about your child, so maybe you need a little slack there. I think if you re-read your post, you would feel bad about the way you talk about your son, too. He had NOTHING to do with your relationships, money, or job. He is just a little kid, being a little kid, and none of this is his fault. It is important to remember that when you are feeling bad about your situation. I would hope you could explain how you are feeling to his father, and perhaps he could give you some time to find something??? After all it is in his best interest, too.  |
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Date: 6/6/2005 10:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 56369
can i just add, that i understand where you are coming from. My mum was in the same boat once upon a time. So alienated with two kids, living with her ex etc. Im presuming its your state of mind- a negative frame of mind, that makes you write in such a way. I hope other readers understand this. Everyone is different and everyone has different tolerances. I hope that you find what it is your searching for, happiness perhaps to lift the negative approach out of your system. I kow there were days that my mum felt resentment for my sister and my brother, but the bottom line was she loves them now and always has. Its just a passing phase, where you feel over loaded with your struggles and you dont think straight. I beleive that you love your child and i just hope that what was my mums case is also yours... |
Date: 6/6/2005 10:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 62849
I can't imagine being in your situation- it must be hard. That being said- it's not that you called your child a monster... everyone does that at one point or another. It's the context and the other descriptions. You ARE blessed to have a healthy child. What I wouldn't give, even though I'm only 21 and not quite ready, to be blessed with such a character building repsonsibility. I hope that things turn out better for you- sorry that your ex isn't helping you out. -Beags  |
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Date: 6/6/2005 10:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 5229
You should have made the last part clear, due to the fact that some of us reading this seem to see the fact that you were tearing down your son more then the man. Fight him every step of the way and I wish you luck. |
Date: 6/6/2005 11:19:00 AM
From Authorid: 61968
There are agencies out there that assist people in your situation with finding jobs and providing day care. Check out the local social services office, there job is to keep people off assistance, (( according to this you arent on it yet ))so they have the resources and knowlegdge to help you. If they dont, try the local churces or charity orginizations..it cant hurt...ShAdOw TiGeR  |
Date: 6/6/2005 11:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 63042
If this guy is doing nothing to help with the raising of this child, then why not take him to court and get your child support money from him that your baby deserves? -asylem_supastar  |
Date: 6/6/2005 11:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 53836
Sounds to me that along with dealing with a jerk of a father who won't help you provide childcare while you look for a job, that based on the way you are feeling about your child, you are going through some severe post-pardum depression...yes it still can happen 2 years after birth. You need to seek out a pastor, or social services to help you work through these feelings...you actually feel the way you say you do about your child, about yourself...you are just projecting those feelings. You need to take responsibility for the way you feel about yourself and thank God for your little monster...I have four little monsters, and their daddy is out of state, so I know all too well what it is like not to have time or thought for yourself, but you need to take action instead of feeling sorry for your situation...you put yourself in that position...only you can get out of it...the first step is to get the $ from his daddy to pay for childcare...if you are in a hotel, then maybe they are hiring right now...or the resturant near there...there are options...you could work nights to earn your own money and the daddy could watch the baby at night after he gets out of work...don't give him a choice...get hired, with that baby on your hip and a sob story to the potential employer and then hand the tot over to daddy and go to work...stop the madness before it consumes you and you do something you regret.  |
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Date: 6/6/2005 12:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
When I know someone has already been investigated by child services, when you make a post like this, sorry but that attitude worries me. You have another child who you gave up custody to who lives with his father. This child's father took him in when you had no place to live, he's letting you live there now even though you're not together, he hasn't kicked you to the streets. I don't know the entire situation but to me it seems like you like to place the blame for your life on to everyone else instead of taking responsibility for your own actions and decisions which will get you no where. Only you can turn your life around, no one else can. "I have little to no faith in my abilities to raise a child, alone." You can do it, you just have to start believing in yourself. |
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Date: 6/6/2005 2:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 61897
"But I cannot move out"-yes, you can. There is lots of help and a lot of programs out there. You continue doing all the same things, don't complain about getting all the same results. |
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Date: 6/6/2005 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 63138
God! I just feel sick to my soul. In a situation such as yours, you should be eligable for Public Assistance. They will also help you to collect child support. They will help you find housing, they can send you back to school and /or help to find you a job and provide child care. I wouldn't care what other's opinions might be about Public Assistance. Swallow your pride and self Pity and put your child's care and best interest before your own. It doesn't bother me to pay taxes to help feed and house children when a family needs it. What I can't stand is Parents selling their children's food stamps for drugs. You are emotionally abusing your innocent son with your attitude. Believe me, even babies can sense stress. Your baby did not do this to you, your bad choices and decisions did. This is going to bother me all night. I hope your child is safe and un-harmed. |
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55755 Category:(Discussion) Created:(6/6/2005 10:02:00 AM)