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I Need Help!! (confused)

  Author: 62684  Category:(General Advice) Created:(4/26/2005 8:10:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (1169 times)

This may be a tad bit lengthy...but I must explain the best I can so I can be more clear and precise. I've been talking to this one girl for about 2 months, and we've talked on the phone basically everyday from the time I got her number. For the past four weeks, we've been haning out even more....a group of us have gone clubbin in consecutive weeks for the past month. A few nights ago, after I dropped her off...she called me 20 minutes later just to see that I made it home safely. She'll call me up, just to see if I wanna go shopping with her or want to hang out...and from what a friend of her told me, she doesn't hang out with guys all like that. Here's where it gets confusing. Last week, we talked about a number of things. We talked about relationships, things we look for in a mate, and even got into sex talk. I told her that night, that I was into her. The thing is, she's not percise when she says things. She said that she wants to be in a serious relationship soon, and that she knows who she would want to be with. I ask her who, and she said that she won't get into it. She also said that she has talked to her mother about me, but once again when I asked...she declined to tell me..only saying that I told me mother about my dear friend "Greg". I'm initially thinking that these are good things, because she probably wouldn't say anything otherwise. This conversation lasted for 4 hours through the night. We've said that we're going to take things slow, and go step-by-step and see how it goes. The other night, she called me and said that we can't talk on the phone for that long anymore, cause it's not very "friend" like. She meant it as, she's in the friend mode and is trying to chill out. I agreed with her...but it threw me off. A female that I confide in tells me that the girl probably already has fallen for me, but is scared cause she was in a bad relationship recently...and is backing off slightly. She calls me alot, she's had her son around me...and my mother says that a girl won't bring their kid around any guy, and she lets me drive her car (and my mother once again says that a girl isn't gonna let any dude drive their car). She personally doesn't like calling people, but I questioned why she calls me and she says that she likes talking to me. She has never said outright that she is feeling me, but there are definitely some signs that could prove that....I just need some advice, cause i'm 19 and girls still confuse me lol. I just don't know how they think sometimes. Sorry for the length again, and if you need to elaborate or anything....feel free to ask me anything about the situation. Peace out and Thnx so much :P

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Replies:      
Date: 4/26/2005 8:15:00 AM  From Authorid: 46527    If you think you're ever gonna reach an age where females cease to confuse you then stop right now....females thrive on confusin' ya.....LOL! It does sound very much as if she feels a little scared by the way the relationship is progressing and needs a little time to sit back and think. Give her the time she needs, if she likes you then she'll be back soon enough. Good Luck!  
Date: 4/26/2005 8:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 62849    It's ok on the length- I know it's fun to talk about exciting new things. Sometimes I have to stop myself from posting "guess what my boyfriend did?" posts, lol! Anyway, yeah, it sounds like she likes you- what advice do you need? It seems like you want things to move a little faster- but you guys talked about taking it slowly. Just go with it, and let the coins fall as they will. I know waiting is hard (Tom Petty says it best) but eventually, if this girl really likes you and you guys are good for each other, you'll be together. -Beags  
Date: 4/26/2005 8:32:00 AM  From Authorid: 62752    lsr i agree lol  
Date: 4/26/2005 8:33:00 AM  From Authorid: 13636    Honey. I'm 23 and female, and I'm still confused by girls myself. lol The best I can tell is shes scared.  
Date: 4/26/2005 9:16:00 AM  From Authorid: 47162    If she wanted more than friends right now, she would NEVER use the F word. Women use the F word, when they clearly intend things to only be friend! A woman who wants more than a friendship, would NEVER use the F word. When a woman wants a guy, they are flirty, call at odd times, do lots of weird things to hint that they like you, and they do all this without EVER using the F word. Some girls just like to have a close guy friend. They get mad when a guy can't just be friends. Some women don't get along with women too well, so they want a good guy friend. You might just be her good guy friend. Until she stops using the F word, consider yourself a friend. Don't push anything. Sounds like she values having a guy she can be close to, that's really a hard thing for a girl to find, is a guy, who she can be close with, yet who will keep it at a friends level..........Don't give up hope though. Maybe she just needs more time. In your heart be content with being friends, but be open to more if that comes. If you find yourself having the relationship talk again, and she doesnt mention the F word, or make a point of being friends, then maybe its time to move in and make it more.  
Date: 4/26/2005 9:19:00 AM  From Authorid: 47162    And do NOT pressure her for anything. Women want to feel safe, secure and not pressured. Have your arms open for her to walk into, but don't use those arms to pull her in.  
Date: 4/26/2005 2:49:00 PM  From Authorid: 30786    It sounds to me like she likes you but is scared of where things are going so she wants to take it slow. My advice to you? As a girl who has been in this situation, I would definitely tell you to stop going after her. Stop asking her questions about relationships and pushing her to tell you who it is she has in mind for a relationship. She is going to feel pressured and overwhelmed, and get scared off, like she has been. Play it cool, hold your cards close to your chest. Be her friend, hang out with her as normal, and then see how it goes. Pretend like the conversation never happened. You don't want her to feel backed into a corner. You are going to need to be patient, step off for a little while, and let her make the next move.  
Date: 4/28/2005 7:07:00 PM  From Authorid: 12103    I think id just let her do her thing..I mean if she really wanted you and knew she wanted you and didnt wanna play games, she wouldnt. Simple as that. That is a good sign (i would think) that she brings her child around you, but with that comes drama..I would just chill out until she figures out what she wants to do and dont pressure her.  

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